Friday Flotsam


You know what my problem is?

My entire problem, I have it figured it out. Know what it is?

(you’re like, “you mean we have to choose?”)

This is my problem: I don’t use enough Saran Wrap. I don’t pull enough out of the box the first go around. I never pull enough. Never. That’s it. That’s my problem. I need more wrap.

In my frugal-leaning mindset I always think out loud to no one, “This will be enough, we don’t want to waste it.”

“…Crap I need more. This barely covers the casserole. Ugh, where did I put that box? Sunnuva….”

I always need more plastic wrap. Always.

And a bigger bowl. I NEVER grab a bowl big enough for anything I plan to do with it. And without fail, once I’m stirring or whisking and realize my error, I always say out loud to no one, “We’re gonna need a bigger bowl.” And I firmly believe that chuckle is what rescues my self esteem.

Bigger bowls, more wrap. I’ve got it figured out, you guys.

I got great rest! Why do you ask?

I have a question for you.

Actually, I have three more questions that will fill each of these spaces, so just wrap your heads around this now and pony up because this might be a lot for you. Just take it one paragraph at a time, okay?

First up, do you think flies get salmonella?

I only ask because you know how sometimes they land on your raw chicken while you’re prepping? And you swat them away but it’s also like, “Don’t put those feet on anything else in this house! Besides your mouth, you turd!”

Because do you think they’ll stick their hands or feet or paws or pads (what are fly paddles even called?) in their mouths and get sick? I don’t think nature would be on our side like that, do you?

There’s no way.

Never mind.

This one is going to require you to think.

WHAT IS THE BEST (I can’t stop yelling, it’s out of my control) SITCOM SCENE OF ALL TIME?

And maybe I just mean your favorite. What’s your favorite sitcom scene of all time? Something iconic perhaps that the entire world knows, “I Ross, take thee Rachel.” Or maybe it’s something that only you appreciated but you can’t let it go, for the love.

That’s not my favorite sitcom scene, by the way. It just landed in my head like salmonella on fly paws and I typed it because everyone knows it.

And it can be super old like Lucy stuffing chocolates into her mouth, or brand new like – well, I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve watched an actual sitcom since – WAIT, I HAVE ONE!!!

And it’s not my favorite favorite, but it’s something I relate to.

Younger: Season No Idea, Episode Not a Clue – but it’s when Maggie and Liza walk into a bar and the bouncer asks to see their IDs. And Maggie goes, “Hu-ha! Look at my neck.”

It’s perfect.

Tell me yours.

Mystery books!

We need to talk about books for the FALL. Spooky thrillers, psycho twisted, whatever. We need them. I just started Paula Hawkin’s newest book last night A Slow Fire Burning and I already can tell it’s going to be fantastic. Exactly what I’m craving right now, even if the temps are still batting their eyelashes at 90.

I’m wanting something like The Broken Girls, or Home Before Dark, or The Wife Upstairs, or Turn of the Key. Give me all the creeeeeepy.

By the way, here are my next five books, if you want to jump in with meh:

A Slow Fire Burning

The Matchmaker

The Paper Palace

The Husbands

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

Okay, tell me what’s on your nightstand for October through Thanksgiving! Minus the holiday books because you know we’ll have a whole dang slew to discuss for December.


Weekend plans?

Not too much! I’ve got a hair appointment tomorrow (I FOUND GRAYS), and then we’ll meander around the Brookside Art Fair in search of a beer tent and art that’s not five hundred million dollars.

Also I’m on the search for a cozy bohemian-ish throw blanket for the fall/winter. Any places I should pop my peepers?

From this week, in case you missed it!::: Breakfast Flatbread with Sausage and Eggs. You’ve already been making it this week and I’m super giddy over that! And then a Skillet Chicken with Orzo and Yellow Squash. One of those this-is-too-easy-but-I-can’t-stop-with-it recipes. Dive on in this weekend.

(Still have yet to get to the Gap. Next week?)

Books! Aaaand go.

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21 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Marine September 17, 2021 at 10:54 am #
    The invisible life of addie larue is SO GOOD… SOOOO GOOD. Switching gears now though- my favorite sitcom scene (the one that sticks out often anyway) is in Seinfeld when Kramer yells “the macinaws, jerry, THE MACINAWS!” … but I also love that one scene in how I met your mother where Barney says “when I’m feeling sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome instead”. Now that is some good life advice.
  2. Lacy September 17, 2021 at 11:04 am #
    Perfect Sitcom moment, hmm. Too many to choose from, but I think you will appreciate why I love this one: Brooklyn 99. Gina's apartment has been burglarized. Amy and Rosa are investigating. Amy: Why do you have so many lycra bodysuits? And why do you need eight full drawers of underwear? Gina: Because I'm civilized. Less talky-talk, more solvey-solve.
  3. Jennifer C. September 17, 2021 at 11:22 am #
    There's about a million scenes from Seinfeld that instantly pop in my head (Elaine dancing, George eating the chocolate eclair out of the trash) but one that would make me laugh literally out loud every episode was on Burn Notice when the beginning credits were rolling and Michael's phone would ring and Sam Axe would say, "Hey, is that your Mom again?" I miss that show!
  4. Dawn September 17, 2021 at 11:22 am #
    Favorite sitcom scene is Parks and Rec Season 2: Tom's Divorce - where Ron goes to the breakfast buffet at the strip club. A glitter bomb goes off and he protects his bacon. Also, give me allllll the spooky books for the next 6 weeks!
  5. Lacy Haguewood September 17, 2021 at 11:32 am #
    Far too many perfect sitcoms moments come to mind, but I think you will appreciate why I like this one. Brooklyn 99. Gina's apartment has been burglarized. Amy and Rosa are investigating. Amy: Why do you have so many lycra body suits? And why do you need eight full drawers of underwear? Gina: Because I'm civilized. Less talky-talk, more solvey-solve.
  6. Jenny September 17, 2021 at 11:56 am #
    The Whisper Man by Alex North (I think)
  7. Jessica September 17, 2021 at 1:25 pm #
    Have you read any Laura Lippman books? I just read one - Every Secret Thing - and it was a gritty, bizarre mystery that I couldn't put down. She has written a ton of mysteries (including a long running series following one detective). I am planning to delve more into her books! Also, same about saran wrap. Every time. Might be because you brought up Friends, but I think my favorite scene is the culmination of the "they don't know that we know that they know" episode. I go from hysterically cackling to misty eyed within 30 seconds.
  8. Kristin September 17, 2021 at 2:51 pm #
    Looking forward to trying the breakfast flatbread... It's looks delicious. I like old school tv, so my favorite scene is from The Dick Van Dyke show. Rob has asked his wife not to open his mail... She couldn't resist and it turned out to be an inflatable boat. Goofy, but it makes me laugh.
  9. Kelly Kiernan September 17, 2021 at 3:33 pm #
    My favorite sit com episode is from The Office when Jim and Pam stay at Dwight Shrute's Beet Farm B&B. Every single line is hilarious. When Dwight tells them that there are 3 rooms each with a different theme: "America, Irrigation and Nighttime" And Pam immediately blurts out "Irrigation!" Also when they leave the Yelp review that says "you'll never want to leave your room." Upcoming nightstand books: I am pretty excited to read the new Jonathan Franzen book out Oct 5th "Crossroads." I read the invisible life of Addie La Rue last year, and I thought it was too long and lost a lot of its early momentum. Fun at first, though. I just finished "People We Meet on Vacation," and it was hilarious and wonderful!
  10. Jessica September 17, 2021 at 4:06 pm #
    “I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle!” Best.Scene.Ever.
  11. Stasha Henry September 17, 2021 at 4:40 pm #
    The Dinner Party episode of The Office is pretty much perfection. But the best scene is at then end when Jim and Pam are eating burgers in the car and put on Hunter’s stolen CD ?
  12. Colleen September 17, 2021 at 5:13 pm #
    Best TV moment: My so-called life when Ricki gets crazy on the dance floor!!!! Not a sitcom per se but that's my hot take.
  13. Reese September 17, 2021 at 5:25 pm #
    I plan to read Mexican Gothic in October! Supposedly spooky, plus- yes, I do judge books by their covers and this one is so pretty! Also, can totally relate to meandering art fests and just being in utter pain about how expen$ive the works are.
  14. Kristin September 17, 2021 at 7:04 pm #
    The only sitcom scene I can remember loving right now is from Mad About You, when Helen Hunt's character is giving birth. She initially declined an epidural, but then changed her mind. The doctor or her husband told her that window had closed and she said something like, "Break the window." in that way that only a woman going through transition can. I just started reading Empire of Pain about the Sackler's of Oxycontin infamy. It's pretty hefty, so I think it will last me for a while. It's by Patrick Radden Keefe and, if you're in the mood for some nonfiction, you should read his book Say Nothing about Northern Ireland. It's excellent.
  15. joan September 18, 2021 at 2:11 pm # The ginger color looks beautiful!
  16. Joann W Convery September 18, 2021 at 3:04 pm #
    favorite sitcom scene was from Cheers. Norm walks in, everyone yells Hi Norm, what's up. Norm says "my nipples, it's cold as hell out there"
  17. Amy Webster September 19, 2021 at 7:25 am #
    I picked up Mary Jane by: Jessica Anya Blau. A FANTASTIC read! I flew through it and had lots of giggles. Highly (haha) recommend this witty book!
  18. kallie September 19, 2021 at 12:26 pm #
    Best sitcom scene ever? Friends episode where Ross is yelling "Pivot!" at Rachel and Chandler while they are moving the couch up the stairs...hands down makes me laugh.
  19. Juliette September 20, 2021 at 9:22 am #
    Moira: Now you fold in the cheese. David replies: I don't know what that means? Moira: You just fold it in David! David replies: I don't know what that means! Do you fold it in like a piece of paper?? Moira: I don't know how to be any clearer David, you just... David interrupts: If you say fold it1 more time! ( maybe not verbatim, but comedy writing gold) ( and acting!)


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