Buffalo Cauliflower Rice Bowls with Kale

And it’s vegetarian(!), for those rationing out their meats like it’s World War 2.

I had my groceries delivered yesterday for the VERY FIRST TIME IN HISTORY, and I kind of loved it. Didn’t have to leave. Stayed home and safe. Touched no one. Wiped every single thing down like that Santa doctor man in the video did. And they had mostly everything in my order, which I didn’t expect! Of course that was yesterday and now Instacart is apparently going on strike, so . . . great. BUT! If you can get groceries delivered, I highly suggest it. That’s all, y’all. #STAYHOME

My point is, if you don’t have fresh cauliflower, frozen is fine! Or you can put in an order for next week. Whatev works for ya.

This is a really, really simple situation here. You roast some cauli. You cook some rice in a rice cooker (or stove top, you fancy). You lightly sauté some kale until it’s barely wilted. You toast pepitas in a little skillet. You drizzle buffalo sauce over the roasted cauli. You insert your entire upper torso into the bowl and everything feels okay, George.

Who’s George?

I leave my cauliflower in for a FULL HOUR. CAULIFULLOUR. That didn’t work.

Look at that color, though! Charred, roasted, so tender, crunchy in places. These are the good things in life. (go ahead and order two heads of cauli. that would be smart.)

(do you hate that I call it cauli? is it annoying? yay, we’re back on track!)

Pepitas! If you don’t have these, no sweat. Honestly, anything crunchy is great. Peanuts, chopped almonds, toenails.

Just toast them gently in a little pan until you see a tiny bit of browning here and there. Yuz.

I forgot to show you what I did with the rice, so I’ll tell you here! Once it’s fully cooked in the cooker, just zest and juice the lime right into it. Add a small pinch of salt, too. Toss it all together. It just wakes the rice up with a hit of acidity. A punch of brightness. So good. Takes it to 11.

And this is truly it! Drizzle the buffalo sauce over the cauliflower, nestle the wilted kale right next to the rice, add some thinly sliced red onion and carrot coins for crunch. And the toasted pepitas! All that TEXTURE, you guys. And you didn’t have to defrost a single package of meat.

I didn’t like the words “package of meat” just now.

And you know what, add in anything you want here. Avocado going bad? Slice it in. Spinach instead of kale? Absolutely. Brown rice instead of white? Dude, of course. BBQ sauce instead of buffalo? FLY, LITTLE BIRD.

Completely delicious. Mounds of comfort. Simple to pull together. Game-day flavors (RIP March Madness and all the sports). Layers of textures. And a good dose of veggies for the soul and attitude and health and life.

NEW WEEK, WHO DIS. (<–sorry)

Buffalo Cauliflower Rice Bowls with Kale
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  • 1 large head cauliflower (frozen is fine!)
  • 3 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, divided
  • 1 cup white rice
  • 1 lime
  • 6 cups chopped kale
  • 1 large carrot, thinly sliced
  • 1/3 cup thinly sliced red onion
  • 1/2 cup buffalo sauce
  • 1/3 cup pepitas, lightly toasted
  • Coarse salt


  1. Preheat your oven to 400. Break the cauliflower into small-to-medium florets and arrange them on a baking sheet. Drizzle 2 Tbs. oil and season with a good pinch of salt. Toss with your fingers. Roast for one hour, tossing at the 45 minute mark.
  2. Cook the rice in a rice cooker (or on the stove!). Once cooked, zest and juice the lime into the rice. Add a small pinch of salt, and toss to coat.
  3. Heat the remaining Tbs. oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the kale and sauté until wilted, just a couple of minutes. Season with a pinch of salt.
  4. Divide the rice over shallow bowls and top with wilted kale, roasted cauliflower, red onion, sliced carrot and pepitas. Drizzle the buffalo sauce over the cauliflower and serve!
  5. Serves 4 medium bowls.
  6. if using frozen cauliflower, you might need to add about 20 minutes to the roasting time

I’ll be in that bowl until this quarantine is over, thanks bye.

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8 Responses to Buffalo Cauliflower Rice Bowls with Kale

  1. Nancy March 30, 2020 at 9:06 am #
    Toenails and Package of Meat both made me smile :). Thanks for that!
  2. shell shockers April 25, 2020 at 11:48 am #
    Can not wait to try it out! It looks so good to try..Thanks
  3. kathy November 14, 2020 at 12:03 am #
    such a delicious meat recipe, I wonder who's going to wash the dishes after supper.
  4. Olivia November 17, 2020 at 4:14 am #
    Very yummy and allaw piece of recipes you shared.. Thanks
  5. Helen December 7, 2020 at 2:20 pm #
    Such a beautiful and yumy recipe .....
  6. William J. Grant April 6, 2021 at 8:49 pm #
    I just finished cooking this, and now eating it... THANK YOU, after a year and a half on keto, and 45 kg lost, I can finally have "rice" again. Actually, this is far better than rice! Both in flavour and, most importantly, in nutrition. I used to hate cauliflower but frying it totally transform the taste and smell! This recipe is amazing and you can use it as a replacement for rice, potatoes, pasta and it's alot healthier! It more or less saved my keto diet progress
    • Bev Weidner April 8, 2021 at 7:17 am #
      Ahhhh this makes my day, William! Thanks for sharing.

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