Friday Flotsam


countryside in the rain

We’re going camping today.

IN THE WILDERNESS WOODS. With the Blair Witch.

Today and tomorrow and all weekend. Like three days of tent life.

But we’ll get back to this.

feet and kitties

Let’s talk about piercings!

(my mom just got super panicked right now.)

It dawned on me the other day that no one really talks about “getting something pierced” anymore. At least in my vicinity and world. This might be because I have kindergarteners, and am over the age of 40 hundred.

Have I ever told you that I was TWENTY years old when I finally got my ears pierced? 20! In college! A young adult! These words are true. And listen to this, my college girlfriends had to DRAG my face out of my Texas dorm room into the stormy Saturday night and drive me to the WAL*MART because they couldn’t wrap their heads around the level of sissy-dom I possessed. These words are also true. “Bev, you’ve got to be kidding me!” “You seriously don’t have your ears pierced?!” “What is wrong with you?” “No more granny clip ons for you! We’re going right now! You can watch Party of Five later!”

*I have a photo of the event. I’ll show you later.*

But you know what, those two tiny ear lobe holes are the only ones I have – STILL. And I’m totally beyond fine with that. I’ve never had a desire to have more (except for a tiny gold hoop hugging my left nostril. ALWAYS wanted that but was too afraid <shocker, I know> of the searing pain. And I was also terrified it would get infected and I’d end up looking like Freddy Krueger.).

I remember going with my bestie Laura when she got her – what were they called – oh! – INDUSTRIAL EAR PIERCING – that long thick bar right through the top of her ear! I nearly fainted right there in the parlor.

And do you remember how popular tongue piercings where? TONGUE PIERCINGS. I’m a grown adult and I still get a little barfy thinking about having that done. HOWEVER, I did kiss a dude in my 20s who had his tongue pierced, just to know what it was like. (sorry, mom.)

Did you ever have any crazy piercings? Or do you still? Tell me the story BECAUSE YOU KNOW THERE IS A STORY. And I can’t rightly survive without it.

tea and oils

Ohhhhhhh let’s talk about tattoos!

(my mom is like, please holy god no.)

I’ve never had one. I’ve never wanted one! And I feel like I’m in the minority here because EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS is tatted. Tatted up! Maybe not every single one, but close to every single one. And they just keep going with it, too. It amazes me. I like it on other people, but I feel like on me it would be a disaster and I’d look like the Sunday funnies.

However, my friend Ashlee (the one I read all my books with and never lets me take photos of her. I’m fine.) mentally sketched one out for me this summer. Check this out – a faded green watercolor-esqe plant leaf up the back of my arm. Like a Monstera leaf! Very dainty, wispy, delicate and feminine. It would be so lovely!

Too bad I’ll never get it.

My college friend Dea had the coolest little crow outlines right above her elbows. I always admired them when I lived in Arkansas and would frequent Arsaga’s coffee shop on Sundays when I was supposed to be studying but would read books like Ya Ya Sisterhood.

Tell me your tat tales! (<–patent pending)

What tattoo do you have? Do you wish you never got it? Are you getting more? WHAT’S THE STORY, BRAH.

Wait, was a mid-’90s Dave Mathews Band summer concert involved? Seems about right.

feet and coffee and mums

I have a confession to make.

One of my favorite TVs shows ever (and I mean ever) is America’s Funniest Home Videos. (either I just gained mega life points in your book, or half my followers just threw their laptops in a river.)

You cannot TELL me you don’t love it, too?! (Lacy I’m excluding you this from convo, because I already know your AFV stance. And I love you anyway.)

It’s the funniest! It truly is! (I do miss John Bergoensgesonrewron, though.)

But have you ever noticed how the laughing takes from the audience are always delayed? Like, they show a hilarious clip of someone falling or diaper cream all over a bed spread or a dog bumping into a glass door, and then they cut to the audience and THEN they laugh?

I mean, I realize it’s editing. You’re like, “Omg this girl has serious life troubles.” But it’s something I’ve always, always noticed. The funny thing happens, cuts to the audience, then the laughs. It’s delayed. I KNOW IT’S EDITING STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.

I guess I have nothing else to say about this.


Weekend plans?

We’re going CAMPING IN THE WILDERNESS WITH THE BLAIR WITCH, in case you’ve already forgotten and/or blocked me from your life.

I think I’m actually excited! We’re all set. It’s us, plus like 38 other friends from Arkansas, and box of wine. Times 55. And I will say, you’ve all given me such helpful tips in Stories about how to watch dishes, how to keep warm in the night (a rock near the campfire then wrapped in a towel and down in your sleeping bag – brilliant!) I’m ready for this. I can do this. I can camp it.

But if I don’t post next week, you’ll know I’ve been eaten by the Blair Witch.

Goodbye forever.

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30 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Simone October 11, 2019 at 7:49 am #
    I got my nose pierced when I was 15 and I although I wasn't nervous, I almost fainted in the piercing chair (that sounds super official). The saddest part was that no one believed me that my piercing was real for an entire week. I no longer have it - but I do have two tattoos! The word "Beloved" very small on my back (inspiration for the spot was from Hayden Patterniere - thanks girl) and I also have a feather with a bible verse on my ribcage. Both of mine are places that can be hidden (corporate work world!) and are pretty small. In fact, I forget I have them until someone asks - ha!
  2. Diane October 11, 2019 at 8:39 am #
    I have two when I was 22. It is a butterfly on my hip. Then another 20 years later...paw prints on my foot (no kids, just 4 legged babies 😊). I haven’t ruled out getting anymore...but I really like the small colorful tattoos.
  3. Melanie October 11, 2019 at 8:48 am #
    No tats and only ears are pierced. Never really felt the need for a tattoo and not overly fond of them on others, but to each his/her own!
    • Jennifer October 11, 2019 at 4:09 pm #
      No tattoos. Just not interested. I got my ears pierced the day I turned 16, mom's rule. Then the day I turned 17 I got a second hole in my left ear. For a while I wore a longstemmed rose earring in the back hole (1980s, thanks) them I stopped wearing anything in the back hole for years. It never closed up and a few years ago my husband got me a diamond stud, which I never take out. Crazy thing is, a month ago while I was out walking, I noticed my diamond was missing. I happened to find it later that day when I wasn't even looking. Shocked that I found it!
    • Laura Lee October 11, 2019 at 6:12 pm #
      Got ears pierced at 13. Got my tattoo of a tree at 31. My husband just got a tattoo last year at 38. I guess we're late bloomers, but hey, it took me that long to figure out what and least I won't regret it.
    • Babe RS October 27, 2019 at 7:41 am #
      My girlfriends had to sneak me out to the jewelry store when I was 16 to get my ears pierced, because my mother said only WHORES had holes in their ears. (Compared to the many holes in your head, Mom.) Many years later she begged me to take her to the same jewelry store for HER turn. Funny, tides turn.
  4. Lisa October 11, 2019 at 9:39 am #
    I am 35 years old. Tattoo parlors and needles terrify me. There is nothing I could think of wanting on my body the rest of the my life. BUT, a few weeks ago I went through a crisis of sorts, walked into a tattoo parlor alone and asked a scary looking man to give me a second piercing on my lobe. I was proud of myself for not freaking out and that it didn’t hurt...UNTIL I SAW THE BILL. How they justify charging almost $200 to peirce your ear by HAND and say that it was just the “jewelry” that was so expensive is beyond me. Anyhoo, I developed this awul bruise behind each ear lobe. I went back in and they said “wow, I’ve never see that before!” Thanks. I’ll come back and yell at you when my ear falls off. Flash forward to now. I like the tiny fake expensive diamond next to the original hole and can’t wait to replace it with something else....Oh, and my mom still hasn’t noticed that I got my ears pierced again.
    • Maria October 11, 2019 at 1:38 pm #
      My friend wanted us to get tattoos for our 40th birthdays. That was 16 years ago when the “tramp stamp” was in. I couldn’t do it. Too permanent. I had visions of how it would look on an old wrinkly woman and just couldn’t. So she got the tattoo and I got a belly button ring. I figured I could always take it out and no one would even know. Still wearing it. 😊
  5. Michelle October 11, 2019 at 10:14 am #
    I got my ears pierced when I was about six. A friend's mother owned a beauty shop and did it. (It was their birthday gift to me.) I got a double-piercing at about 13. Totally stupid since I haven't worn earrings in the back hole since about 1995. No tats, never wanted one, never will get one. I'm definitely in the minority in my circle of friends.
  6. Monica October 11, 2019 at 10:18 am #
    So Colombian here (hi) we get our ears pierced pretty much straight after being born, in my case my grandma did it, kind of a tradition. Then I had my second piercings (in both ears) at 12y/o, then one more on one ear at 13 stopped for a while and got my helix at 22 and now that I am almost 40 I am probably going through a midlife crisis or something because I got 5 more, 4 in the ears (daith, conch, anti tragus and forward helix) and nose. Love them all and who knows, I might get more. And Lisa OMG yes why is it so expensive I don't know!
  7. Nicole October 11, 2019 at 10:33 am #
    I make my whole family watch funny videos every Sunday night at 7. My favorite night of the week!!!
  8. Erin H October 11, 2019 at 10:36 am #
    I have one very small tattoo... mainly because I wanted to do something "crazy" (so not crazy as I was 21 yrs old, but it's crazy for me). My dad passed away 2 years ago and I really want to get one in his memory, but I promised my grandmother I'd never get another one and I'm afraid she will come back and haunt me! And I can't decide what to get anyway.
  9. Deana October 11, 2019 at 11:27 am #
    A year after my breast cancer diagnosis I was in Florida and got a pink ribbon tattoo on the inside of my left ankle! I love it. I am a 15 year survivor 🎉
  10. Kimberly Verbeck October 11, 2019 at 11:29 am #
    My mom was super weird about letting me get my ears pierced. She never had hers done but my grandma wore the most fantastic jewelry. My mom finally relented and took me to the mall to get them done on 8/8/88. She also made me promise I would never get my ears double pierced. Well I kept that promise but when I was in college I had a friend who wanted to get her tongue pierced and so I drive her to Dr Jeffe's in Ocean Beach. I nearly fainted when she got it done. The piercer was so worried about me, he brought me water and asked me if I wanted mine done. I said no way I could barely handle watching her get it done. He said you already feel terrible, you have nothing to lose, and I will do it for free. So i said well okay then! I had mine in for 20 years. And I technically didn't break my moms no double piercing rule. I have two tattoos too and I want a third for sure. My rule was to wait at least a year between tattoos because they are addicting so that MUST GET ANOTHER one part wears off before you decide what to do next.
  11. Colleen October 11, 2019 at 11:48 am #
    I don't have any tattoos but if I ever go there would get a teeny tiny steaming teacup on a saucer on the side of my index finger because my husband and I have shared countless cups of tea (but not saucers, that is just for cuteness) OR I would get 'always' on the inside of my wrist. Because Harry Potter. A ginormous bonding force between my daughter, my husband and me.
  12. Jeanne October 11, 2019 at 1:40 pm #
    OK Bev... AFV, Tom B all the way (if you like AFV, and miss TB, check out Dancing with the Stars, he MAKES the show!!). No tats (have considered one but then I fast forward to when I'm 90 and everything is sagging, yeah... no.) Only 2 piercings, one in each ear (that POF reference tho - ha!) Would consider getting another when I take my daughter for her 10th bday, she's 9 1/2 now. Don't get Blair Witched this weekend!
  13. J October 11, 2019 at 2:20 pm #
    I grew up in Europe and was visiting family in New England for the summer. I’d just turned 18 and decided to get my tongue pierced, on a whim. My older sister got a recommendation from a friend for a tattoo parlor and as we pulled up doubt started to creep in. This place was a wooden shack, on a dirt hill, in the middle of a scrap yard surrounded by electricity pylons. The piercing chair was an old leather car seat and as I sat in it the guy hit the lever so I fell straight back and scared me half to death. I went through with it and my tongue was so swollen I could barely talk, eat or even drink for 4 days. Brutal at the time but something I laugh at now. I took the stud out 6 years later before meeting a boyfriend’s parents 😂 it felt like it was time. Sayonara sucker!
  14. Tracy October 11, 2019 at 2:28 pm #
    No tattoos here either. I'm like you. I think they're kinda cool (some are even sort of elegant?) on other people, but I have zero desire to get one myself. Besides, both my husband & mom would completely freak out! I don't need that drama in my life!! Ha ha!! Good luck camping! I bet you'll have a great time if you don't freeze ;) Can't wait to hear about it!
  15. Deanna October 11, 2019 at 3:10 pm #
    I’ve had my ears pierced 3 times, and only have one hole in each ear. The first time I got them done at Claire’s and they were lopsided so I let them close. The second time, when I changed my earrings for the first time I discovered a nickel allergy when my ears got covered in a rash. Closed again to heal. Third time was last year for my wedding. This piercing is still going strong, but I almost never think to actually change my earrings. As for tattoos, I’ve never wanted one, but if I had to get one, I’d get a water colored California poppy. Home state, and my best friend’s nickname in one. Good luck camping! If you ever do it again, and you’re up in mountains, make Chile rellanos! My grandma used to and they were the best things ever.
  16. Meredith October 11, 2019 at 3:54 pm #
    I have my ears pierced three times in each. I had a fourth I’d done myself in high school but just stopped putting an ear ring in it so it closed. Also my belly button, tongue, and nipple 😳 Only the belly button and ears remain. Also two tattoos, one at 21 and and the other at 29. I love the way a beautiful tattoo looks on a woman’s wrist and I’m pondering doing something with my kid’s birthdays on mine, we’ll see 🤷🏼‍♀️
  17. Sara October 11, 2019 at 4:54 pm #
    I have a tiny horseshoe tattoo right above my hip bone. It looked really good when I was 20. After having my twins, it now lays on its side and has stretch marks running through it. Really cute.
    • Dee October 15, 2019 at 8:54 am #
      Funny, Sara! Exactly why I never got any. My sister-in-law (younger than me) got her first tattoo in her early 40's, and asked me when I was going to get one. I told her if she could find a spot on my body that wasn't going to start sagging in the next few years, I'll do it!
  18. Renae October 11, 2019 at 8:18 pm #
    No tattoos, also never wanted one even when my high school friends were getting them. The only tattoo I have considered is a white one with my kids’ initials OR something in memory of my brother. Nothing comes to mind, so I’ll probably just remain uninked.
  19. Kelly @ Turned up to Eleven October 11, 2019 at 9:10 pm #
    Tat tales: I'm laying in bed right now with bandages (plural) from the two tattoos I got this evening. 1 is my maiden name, and the 2nd is a Latin phrase from our family crest that means "virtue worthy of ones ancestors". Fun, right? That makes 6 total for me. One is large. I just got it last year to cover up 2 I got wayyy too young and really disliked. It's waves around my ankle. I think I am finished for now. I have one more old one I would like reworked but no one sees it but my husband, hell I can't even see it without a mirror ( yes, it's a dreaded tramp stamp). I will say by age 16 I had 8 holes in my ears, but to be fair I worked at Afterthoughts in the mall and was always willing to let new employees train on me. And I had a belly ring, but never showed it off! Haha I sound like such a wild child, but I was a square. I swear.
  20. Sam October 11, 2019 at 10:51 pm #
    I love this post so much!! And I ALSO LOVE AFV! I thought I was the only one. Only tattoo I have was revolving an old boyfriend LOL and still think about getting my septum pierced even though I’m a thirty something mother of three and only have my ears pierced. Hahaha I can’t wait to read through these comments!
  21. Nicole October 12, 2019 at 2:33 am #
    I had my ears pierced at eight, my nose at 19 (mid-90s, they used a piercing gun!!), and my tragus at 25. I don’t wear my nose stud anymore, but it hasn’t closed and sometimes I think I’ll wear a stud or ring again. Had a tiny flower tattooed on the top of my foot. That hurt. I flinched. That particular petal isn’t even. I think about getting something else either really delicate or a bit steampunk. I probably won’t though, because they huurrtttttt.
  22. Brenna October 12, 2019 at 9:19 am #
    I have seven tattoos and two ear piercings. The ear piercing were easy the first one when I was 12 and the second when I was 16. My mom was so angry, I am such a rebel. Lol! The tats came later my first one I got at age 20 when I left my ex-husband (he was abusive and controlling). He had told me I could never have a t tattoo or cut my hair. So I did both. Again such a rebel. I didn’t get my next tattoo until I was 36. Yep 36 because I never really had another reason to get one then we lost my favorite pup, Oscar. It was tragic and fast and he was gone. So I have a paw print in my right calf. The third one I had done about four years ago. It is an Om. It is my favorite tattoo. Then I had one done for my kids a squirrel and a chipmunk holding balloons (their nicknames) I am from Vegas so I have a vegas strong on my wrist that I got after the October 1 shooting. On my left calf is another paw print for our pup Bogey passed about 2 years ago. And finally a graduation cap on my other wrist for my son when he graduated high school. It was a rough ride and we all graduated that day. I have plans for about 4 more tattoos in my immediate future a hammerhead shark (my spirit animal) my dad’s signature (he is in hospice) my grandmother’s signature (she passed many years ago but I just found her signature a couple of months ago) I will get a paw print for our pup Geronimo (when we lose him) tattoos are therapeutic to me. I have never regretted a tattoo, every single one has a story and they all hold a special place in my heart.
  23. Amanda October 12, 2019 at 12:20 pm #
    If you love AFV you have to watch Ridiculousness on MTV!! It’s like a grown up AFV and it is hilarious!! Plus they just find all their videos, you can’t send them in.
  24. Carrie P October 13, 2019 at 9:25 pm #
    My college bestie and I got our belly buttons pierced sophomore year. We extensively researched where to get it done, because we were wild and crazy college students who cared a lot about sterile piercing practices. We made an appointment (see, crazy!) at the tattoo shop we selected and gave our names to the one-armed man at the counter. Turned out he wasn’t just greeting people, he was our piercer. We were a little...worried about how he would get traction, but he just got in there with his stump and hand and got to business. It was pretty amazing and was an excellent piercing. Had it until I get pregnant with my first a decade later.
  25. Hannah October 15, 2019 at 2:36 pm #
    I got my ears pierced for the first time when I was 13! Then, I got them pierced a second time when I was 14. I was ~very~ into piercings as an eighth grader, so I went ahead and pierced my ears a third time myself in my bedroom one evening. They were a bit crooked, but they worked! Then, I got my bellybutton pierced on my 15th birthday. Now, I'm 30, and all of the ol' piercings have closed up except for my original ear piercings. I just stopped putting earrings into the second and third set of ear piercings once I passed the age of like, 20, and they closed up naturally. As for the bellybutton piercing... I LOVED IT, but I got chicken pox when I was 22 (not great, would not recommend) and I had those angry little blisters all over and my skin was SO sensitive that I took out all of my body jewelry. As luck would have it, I scarred RIGHT over my bellybutton piercing. Nothing much left there, but a scar over the hole. Ah well! I had a good run with it. No regrets!

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