Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRewey dew! I dunno.

valentine cards

Do you make the bed?

What I mean is, when do you make the bed?

What I MEAN is, how do you make the bed?

What I MEAN MEAN is, are you into making your bed?

This blog post already completely sucks.

What I MEAN EEEES, is making the bed something you’re super into? Like, do you slop it together first thing in the morning, not really minding a wonky corner or an untucked side?

Or do you leave it unmade the entire day, knowing you’re going to crawl right back in bed in a handful of hours because your kids are home from cancelled school for the rest of time and SO HELP YOU GOD YOU MIGHT MURDER ALL OF EVERYTHING AND END UP IN PRISON SO THIS BED IS ALL YOU REALLY HAVE WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT?

Or do you treat it as a morning ritual, taking care to pull the sheets tightly and evenly, running your hand over the top layer to smooth it out, tucking the corners in neatly and properly? Do you fluff pillows and stylize throw blankets according to seasons or colors?

Do you ask for help so that you can knock it out quickly, but only get frustrated when Aaron (I mean, your husband) doesn’t pull the sheet up all the way, or fails to tuck it in compliant to normal human standards, so you end up having to walk around to his side and fix what he haphazardly slopped together like some barbaric animal? Or do you skip asking all together because you know you can do it exquisitely, and would rather just take it on alone?

. . . Asking for a friend.

baby aloe

When I was a lot younger (with no jowls), and I’d hear some big-time rock star come on the local radio station and say, “You’re listening to KZOR Hobbs, New Mexico” or whatever, I would totally think they were THERE RIGHT THEN. Like, in my town! How thrilling! I wonder if I could ask my mom to drive me to the studio and sneak in to grab a glance. Get an autograph. Maybe even a photo with my pink Le Clic! I might be too late. I wonder how long they’ll be here, and what brought them through. This is just too exciting.

And then one day when I was a little bit older (still no jowls) I realized, “Ohhhhhhhhh it’s pre-recorded.”

And my dreams were shot down like duck corpses falling from the sky.

That’s all.

chocolates and wine


Also, someone told me yesterday in IG Stories that I should rename my book club Bev Books. Hahahahahaha. Instead of Bev Cooks. You know?

Bev Books.

I like it.

Anyway (don’t you dare ever ask me to say anywho), I finished A Place For Us a few days ago, and posted my recap in the Stories highlights! Such an incredible book. What a heartbreaking journey, UGH. I’ll stop talking. Go watch my recaps, and tell me if you’ve read it! And what you thought. And if you pictured Fatima Farheen Mirza to look exactly like Amira Ali.


Up next! I’m starting One Day in December today, and I hear it’s delightfully fluffy and fun. I NEED THE FLUFF, man. Especially after APFU. It’s like a palette cleanser. Like when you sniff coffee beans between smelling candles or perfumes in the mall or something.

And then after that, Where the Crawdads Sing! Which I know I’m super late to the party on this, as the entire world has already read it and I’m the only person left on the planet who hasn’t.

So join in if ya fancy! Or don’t. You know. Up to you. Either way. I’m breezy.

“You can’t SAY you’re breezy. That totally negates the breezy!” (<–nts.)

chocolates and wine

Why do we “curl up” with a book? Why is there curling involved? What if you’re sitting upright on the sofa? Does that cancel out the reading?

Why do we not “curl up” to a magazine? We don’t curl. We “flip through” a magazine. Curl up with a book, and flip through a magazine.

And no one curls up or flips through a cookbook. We PERUSE a cookbook.

And no one curls up to a T.V. show. We binge that ish. We don’t binge a book. Why isn’t there more book binging? Because that’s weird and nonhuman.

And a movie? Ya simply watch.

And a bottle of wine? If YOU drink the whole thing, it’s, “I enjoyed that wine.” If someone ELSE finishes the bottle, it’s “polished off.” Because there’s judgement that obviously must be cast.

These are the things I think about at night and all the time.

rose and feet

Weekend plans?

It’s going to snow 195 #&%ing feet today. School has been cancelled yet again. But it’s okay. I’ve wrapped my head around the fact that I’ll die in this house with my small children needing a granola bar or asking to watch Pink Panther for 85 hours.

Crap I need to go to the store! Tell me something yummy to make tonight. Something perfect for snow days. And make it good, because you know this is obviously my last meal.

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17 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Mimi February 15, 2019 at 8:03 am #
    You are hilarious. The part about curling up to a book, flipping through a magazine, polishing off a bottle of wine, “because you know this is obviously my last meal”. Hahahahaha. You’re the best writer! And I love Friday Flotsam! Also, Bev cooks, Bev books. Someone is clever, I love it. you can’t say you’re breezy......FRIENDS right!?!?!? Have a great weekend!
  2. Cathy February 15, 2019 at 8:20 am #
    I always make the bed as soon as I get out of it, and put my robe and slippers on. Absolutely lots of throw pillows arranged in some unique pattern. Sometimes I lay in bed and think how I'll arrange all the pillows. That is probably not healthy.
  3. Ali Vizzo February 15, 2019 at 8:28 am #
    The “To All The Boys I Loved Before” series (3 books) was really good fluff!! It’s like the modern 10 Things I Hate About You and there’s already a very cute Netflix movie. Your Gilmore Girls/Dawson’s Creek loving heart will not be able to put it down. I’m starting Eleanor this weekend!
  4. Berdena Sloan February 15, 2019 at 8:55 am #
    When it is cold, we love stew and cornbread! Simple meal, both warms the soul!
  5. Kathy February 15, 2019 at 9:18 am #
    Funny about bed making. It was about the only rule my mom had for 4 kids. I am almost 70 and always make my bed. When I was still working even if I overslept the bed was always made! Always. I love getting into a neatly made bed. I also had the same expectation of my so . It worked until he left for college. He is now married and it isn’t a priority at all. What?
  6. Ashley February 15, 2019 at 9:18 am # Excellent winter day comfort food right there! I just make it easier on myself and put it one casserole dish instead of individual portions.
  7. Another Sue February 15, 2019 at 10:13 am #
    I read somewhere that one should let the bedding cool before making it up. So I do the getting ready for the day stuff, then go back and make it. I'm about 2 hours W of you, and it's been snowing here since about 7:30. They have revised our 3-5 inches down to 1-3. So there's that. I have chili going in the slow cooker.
  8. Bianca February 15, 2019 at 10:29 am #
    Love the look of a made bed. Even if everything is in it's place, if the bed is not made, the bedroom has a way of looking ridiculously disheveled. On a cold day, anything in the crock pot is great.
  9. Anonymous February 15, 2019 at 11:10 am #
    I'm an Aaron bed maker. My husband would be a Bev-style bed maker! But he's given up on me, and reverts to Aaron-style on a pretty regular basis. But when getting into bed at night, he likes to smooth out the sheets and pull them tight before lying down. Lots of yanking and sighing happens! hahahahaha.... Last week I made Gina's fantastic Taco Chicken Chili from Skinnytaste, and it would be the perfect snowy weekend food. I highly recommend. I'm still readying "little fires" and I might skip right to "december" when I finish it. Thanks for saving your recaps in stories, so I can catch up when I catch up. ;) Have a greet weekend. Stay warm, all curled up with books, flipping through mags, and polishing off all the wines. xoxo
  10. Mary February 15, 2019 at 11:17 am #
    We don't make the bed. My husband gets up after me, so there's no use in trying. That's why I would hate to have my bedroom on the main floor...then I'd have to make my bed in case someone would look in and see it!
  11. Stephanie February 15, 2019 at 11:26 am #
  12. morgan February 15, 2019 at 11:28 am #
    There's nothing I love more than a comfy, unmade bed with lots of pillows. Perfectly made beds make me uncomfortable ;)
  13. Susan February 15, 2019 at 12:33 pm #
    My dad was a stickler for bed making. He taught both of his girls to make a bed properly (Navy pilot) and it's stayed with both of us. My husband was a Marine and he makes a good bed. I provide the decorative throws, shams, etc., and he is actually very good at styling the bed! A messy bed throughout the day would push all of my anxiety buttons, plus I like a neat bed at the end of the day, not some rumpled laundry pile to crawl into.
  14. Peggy February 15, 2019 at 1:04 pm #
    Hah, you’re a hoot,! My husband and I make the bed but not until after we’ve had coffee, read the paper (him), and gone thru emai, and Instagram (me). Being retired is Awesome! I used to think I was a quick and dirty bed maker, but, as I really like my bedding, I make it pretty and inviting. I HAD to make my bed growing up and having my bedroom where it can be seen now is a huge incentive. BEsides, I think It’s calming to see. Unfortunately only 2 out of 4 kids followed in my footsteps. 🙄. And they are all in their 40’s. Has anyone noticed how many girls don’t cook these days? Boggles the mind! Thank goodness guys are doing it more. Happy Friday! Btw, I used to live in Roswell, NM!
  15. JC February 15, 2019 at 1:12 pm #
    One Day in December was a relaxing, fun, enjoyable read. Baked penne was last weekend's snow meal. This weekend's is Thanksgiving-turkey breast,. mashed potatoes, dressing-embracing all the comfort foods.
  16. Autumn February 15, 2019 at 1:52 pm #
    I totally AND literally spit snot outta my nose about curing up with a book. That's all I gotta say about that. LOL
  17. Sarahd February 16, 2019 at 8:15 am #
    Monica leaving a message for Richard! Took me a minute:)

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