Balemtime’s Bay! (please don’t x out.)
Did you forget about today? It’s not like it’s a REAL holiday. So it’s totally fine if you did. No one’s mad. (actually don’t quote me on that.)
But! If you’re having a mini coronary collapse because you forgot all about dinner tonight – then just imagine me sweeping in and breaking a giant window in a cream and gold superhero costume. With a mother-in-law’s tongue leaf! That’s my sword. It works in my head, leave me alone.
This is pretty much chicken piccata, but scallops in place of the chicken. And a flat pasta in place of linguine. And maybe my belt is vintage brass.
Also, I’m just now noticing how I left off the word and arrow leading to parmesan. WHOOPSIE. Wait, are you breaking up with me?
Suuuuuper simple! You’ll pick up some scallops on your lunch hour today. After work, pat them down hard core with a paper towel. Open a sauvignon blanc and let it breathe.
You know what, forget the breathing nonsense and go ahead and pour a glass. You need to make sure it’s adequately matched for this meal, right? Quality control.
Season the scallops with salt, and then sear them in a HOT pan with melted butter. Get that sear, bae!
BAY. Hahahahah! Bay. Get it? Bay scallo- right.
While the scallops rest, you’ll pour another glass of wine, because that last one went down like water.
Throw some lemon slices in those scallopy/buttery remnants. Let them get a little caramelized in the pan while you sing along to Mariah Carey’s Vision of Love and pretend you can still hit those high notes like you could in high school. Wait, where’s that wine.
You’ve boiled some pasta. You’ve also made a sauce with chicken stock and capers and one more pat of butter. And parsley! You’re probably low on wine, so maybe top it off?
Transfer the cooked pasta to the sauce, turn the heat off and add some parmesan. Let it all marry up for five minutes. Because right now it’s going to be on the soupy side. And I don’t want you cranky at me. Let it soak!
Then nestle the scallops on top and I’VE REALIZED A DREAAAAAAAAAAAM, AND I VISUALIZED THE LOVE CAME TO BEEEEEE.
Sorry but, are you seeing that? Your wine is on the counter behind you, by the way. Just open that second bottle, already. It’s fine.
FEEL SO ALIVE, I’M SO THANKFUL THAT I’VE RECEIVED.
THE ANSWER THAT HEAVEN HAS SENT.DOWN.TO.ME.
Dust with more parm.
Be okay with this whole thing, it’s who you are.
YA TREATED ME KIIIIIIIIIND.
I’ll see myself out.
Mariah Carey sold separately. *hiccup