Friday Flotsam


shoes and garland memories


Finished Handmaid’s Tale last week. (<–I almost typed tail. Elizabeth Moss’s tail.)

I absolutely L O V E D the ending. (spoilers!! SPOILERS. you’ve been warned. don’t paper cut me.) When they’re all in that huge circle in the lightly falling snow, and the guards drag out loony JANINE and her wonky eye. (whom I ADORE. her giddy slash delusional-to-reality persona was so intriguing in this role, right?) The looks on all the handmaids’ faces, omg. And then when they came for June and put her in the back of that dark, cold van, O M G. June’s FACE. She’s cracking a subtle smile and all the while Luke’s hugging Moira in the Canadian hallway with all the missing persons photos and I’m basically dying for season 2. The end.

But I’m now totally and completely into Marvelous Mrs. Maisel! Only three episodes in, but I just think it’s so great. So funny. I AM waiting for Alex Borstein to break out into her Lois Griffin voice, “PETAAAAAA.”

Get this, one of my follower’s sister did the COSTUMES. You know what that means, don’t you? I’m basically. . . let’s see, one, two, three DEGREES from the show! Four degrees. Something. Whatever. The show follows me! Just kidding. Never mind.

beers and popcorn

So yesterday I did a “POOOOOLLLLLLLLLLAH!” on my IG Stories about whether you’d like to know my skincare routine or my makeup routine. Because last week I posted just a little bit about eye makeup from the drugstore (which is a totally fine life move), which led to more makeup questions, which then led to an abundance of skincare questions, which then led to me taking a nap on my phone. So! Skincare it is.

And you should know, I’m no expert.

I’m not a skincare blogger.

But I do love skin stuff.

Because I’m 41 and ancient and rickety crickety.

And also, (and you know this, I’m not being bossy), but skincare needs CHANGE as you get older. The ish I’m using now may not be the ish I use next year. Okaybye.

Wait! I still need to tell you my routine.


So the first thing I definitely recommend is a konjac sponge. I’ve preached (to the fake masses in my head) about this rooty, spongy delight for over a year now. You can get ’em anywhere! I cleanse with it, and it lightly buffs my skins and leaves behind a slight glow. I’ll never quit it.

I’ve experimented with a bazillion different cleansers forever, but what I’m using currently is a Micellar Cleansing water from Garnier.  I like it! I’ve used their charcoal cleanser, too, and I’d definitely buy that again.

In the morning, once I’ve cleansed, I put on Ole Henriksen’s Truth Serum. I LOVE THIS. I read (I think on Goop?) that the face needs vitamin C first thing in the morning, so that’s the first thing I pour on.

After that comes the moisturizer! Right now I’m using Ole Henriksen’s Perfecting Transformation moisturizer, and it’s great. Light, not greasy, feels amazing.

Then comes sunscreen! In years past, I’ve used moisturizers that HAVE sunscreen in them. But some don’t always have an SPF in it, and my old decrepit face needs it. I’ve used Aveeno a lot in the past, (always get at least SPF 30!), but yesterday I just received this sunscreen from BeautyRX, so I’ll try that out and let ya know.

I JUST received this Banana Bright eye cream from Ole, and I’ve only used it once, but I can already tell I’ll fall into irrational obsession. You put it on after moisturizing, and it immediately brightens under your eyes, WHILE acting as an eye shadow base. Boom.

CRAZY ice in my car

NIGHTTIME: (also, that ^^^^ isn’t a Bob Ross painting, you guys. It’s ice crystals on the OUTSIDE OF MY WINDSHIELD. Nature freaks me out.)

I’ve used Pond’s makeup remover since bloomin’ junior high. It works brilliantly. The end.

Then Konjac with Micellar water, hum a little ditty. (<–100% true. YOU KNOW WHO I AM, RIGHT.)

For nighttime moisturizer, I’ve been using No. 7 night cream, and I love it! Smells d i v i n e. It’s thick, and feels like a blanket of baby bum on your face all night.

For night eyes, I use Ole Henriksen’s Transformation Eye Gel, and it’s amazing! Just tightens the eye area, which is good for my life.

That’s basically it!

Of course I do face scrubs two or three times a week (this one from Ole is KILLER), along with masks once a week (totally dig this charcoal one from Beautycounter). But overall my routine is fairly simple.

HOWEVER. I’ve got top-secret James Bond tips on the ultimate in skincare.

1) WATER.WATER.WATER. (I drink so much it would make your head swim. Ha! Swim. Never mind.)

2) SLEEP.SLEEP.SLEEP. (I get in bed no later than 9:30pm. I’m obnoxiously strict about this. Sleep is everything.)

3) WINE.WINE.WINE. (jk jk jk jk jk – actually, this is something I’m working on this year. Less wine. Like, a lot less wine. It totally hangs in my face and brings out red pigmentation like whoa.)

4) KALE.KALE.KALE. I eat kale at least once a day. And I’m serious. It’s been my breakfast staple for years (sauté a heaping mound in a tiny bit of oil, a pinch of garlic powder, salt and lemon juice, yo).

Other things that boost the glow are juices! Especially green juices. Also, smoked salmon. I eat smoked salmon at least four times a week. #EMILYGILMOREKNOWS Matcha Tea is also incredible for skin health. I’ve been drinking more and more of it, and I’m seriously noticing a difference. Yes I’m a walking cliché leave me alone.

Aaaand if you’re curious about more advanced skincare, I get Botox, guys. And I ain’t ashamed of it. I’ve got a more in-depth post about that!

Tell me what you do. And if you have anything life changing to enhance or add to my routine, HOLLA. You know I need you.

Now if we can figure out a way to get my neck to not look like a rotting iguana….

all the fabrics

While I have you!

Wait, do I still have you? Let’s talk about vacuum cleaners. YES, I asked about this on my Stories about a year ago, (remember the whole sock in the tube and the high-pitched dying seal sound and me thinking it was all broken but really we just need to pull the sock out of the tube and the other one out of my head? Right. That.)

WELL. My Shark is officially annoying. It WORKS, but there’s a big hole in the tube part, which means I have to use my hand to squinch up the tube so that the air doesn’t leak out, causing weak suction. Know what I mean, Vern?

Tell me what vacuum cleaner is bomb. I’d like to stick to Shark, because I don’t want to sell my pancreas for a Dyson. Are there new Sharks that are incredible?? Or any other brands that are way more pimp than Shark?

TELL MAMA. (<–please forgive me for those two words back to back just now.)

gremlins and pie

Weekend plans?

It’s negative a billion degrees here with a windchill of WHYYYYYYY.

Our best pals that were supposed to come over last weekend were all flu-y, so we rain checked for tomorrow! I’m making a huge crockpot of bbq pulled pork with baked beans. I’ve never made baked beans before. I’m scared.

We’re also doing something tomorrow morning waaaay out of our comfort zones, but I’m actually super excited and READY for this home change. I don’t want to give anything away, but it rhymes with slawpmaqer.

I know. I shouldn’t be so obvious.

Baked beans aren’t scary, right?

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63 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Candace January 12, 2018 at 8:14 am #
    Totally get that you don't want to sell your pancreas but...... I flipping love my Dyson. I didn't even know I was capable of loving a vacuum cleaner but it is the greatest thing. It makes me dance when I vacuum!! <<<weird. The redeeming factor was that we bought ours at Sams Club so we got about $100 off! I think costco has a similar deal. Happy Shopping!
    • Anonymous January 12, 2018 at 9:29 pm #
      Sorry- yes. Also love my Dyson! 😬 bought the previous years model for a lot less than current. GREAT customer service/warranty also. It sucked up something weird and they fixed it no prob
  2. Becky Zea January 12, 2018 at 9:01 am #
    I am loving all your skin care recommendations! Can't wait to try some of them! We have a Dyson, it's alright. The internal parts are plastic and break/melt pretty easily. I have had to replace parts 4 times now. I dream about getting a Riccar! They are about the same price as a Dyson but will last you much longer! Have a good weekend!!! xo
  3. Daniela January 12, 2018 at 9:13 am #
    Sorry to point this out but 'windshield'? lol. I see so many people spell it like that but you know it's 'windchill" right :) Love your blog!
    • Bev Weidner January 12, 2018 at 9:23 am #
      BAhahahahah! Total mistake. I'd just typed windSHIELD above and it was stuck in my head. I do know the correct word is windchill. I'm only partially idiotic. ;) Updated!
      • Angie January 12, 2018 at 11:52 am #
        Wait what?!
      • Anonymous January 12, 2018 at 12:05 pm #
        The windchill is how cold it is, the windshield is the glass on your car...
        • Bev Weidner January 12, 2018 at 12:09 pm #
          Oh I'm aware. It was an innocent typo.
  4. Brianna January 12, 2018 at 9:45 am #
    I had a dyson for years and it finally broke. Replaced it with a shark last year and it works just as well if not better than the dyson.
  5. Toni Durr January 12, 2018 at 10:10 am #
    Just got a Delk from Amazon (whatever model is their "best seller") and it is FABULOUS! super...and only $119 after Christmas!
    • Jess January 12, 2018 at 10:52 am #
      Delk? I love the thought of this cheaper vacuum, but don’t see it!
  6. Denise Dunn January 12, 2018 at 10:26 am #
    Baked beans are not scary. Leave time to let them bake for a loooong time. Check out Jasper White's recipe.
  7. Michelle Hedegard January 12, 2018 at 10:32 am #
    I'm a Dyson fan.
  8. Kristy January 12, 2018 at 11:03 am #
    Shark!!!! My in-laws who can totally afford to buy any top Brand Vacuum Cleaner always use a shark! There's nothing better out there
  9. Janice January 12, 2018 at 11:15 am #
    Loved this post! No face oil of any kind? Just wondering. My face get so dry and flaky, it's embarrassing. So I bought some Johnson&Johnson baby oil and I've been exfoliating every so often + applying a little baby oil. Probably need to find something better than baby oil. Eesh. The smell. Anyways. I too use the Garnier Micellar water. Use it to remove my eye makeup. And I use witch hazel to clean my skin too. I think it exfoliates a little. I also have a cream by Avène called Tolérance which helps when my face gets irritated and aggravated by the -40C dry temps outside. It's a life saver and totally fixes the redness and calms it down. For vacuum, my parents got me a super nice Miele vacuum over 10 years ago. Still works. I love it,
    • Leanne January 12, 2018 at 5:21 pm #
      Try Egyptian Magic, it’s olive oil and bees wax based and I’ve been using it now for about 10years.(I’m 45 now) I love it and it smells lovely!
    • Rebekah S January 13, 2018 at 8:48 am #
      Teddy’s Organic Rose Hip Oil (cheap on amazon) will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
      • Debra Powell January 24, 2018 at 11:29 am #
        I use it too!!
  10. Dawn Forsythe January 12, 2018 at 11:21 am #
    Dyson Skin care, I'm a junkie for sure. I love SkinCeuticals Vitamin C serum and I agree with you, I apply it every morning. I use a tinted sunscreen made by Alastin; they have some great products. As for face wash, I use CeraVe. My main night time regimen is my eye cream and Retinol. My aesthetician told me about A313 and I love it. A little goes a long way, it's very affordable, french made and is best for people who have sensitive skin. Love your blog. I even made my husband listen as I read a few of your blogs, while he was driving when we were on vacation :)
    • Dawn Forsythe January 12, 2018 at 11:22 am #
      Blah, Dyson was supposed to be on a separate line :(
  11. Tifani Lyn January 12, 2018 at 11:22 am #
    I don’t think I’ve read a blog in like 5 years. I’m mostly an Instagram person. But I must say I love yours. Not sure I followed most of your funny words/jokes, but I’m totally along for the ride. You rock. What sponge do you use? The charcoal one? Or the sensitive skin one?
  12. Hannah January 12, 2018 at 11:23 am #
    I have a Miele vacuum and I love love it. My mom has had the same Miele for a billion years and it’s also still amazing. And you don’t have to sell an arm, leg, or pancreas to get one. Join usssss (too creepy? K) Xo
  13. vanesas January 12, 2018 at 11:24 am #
    two things, 1. my husband constantly calls me a walking cliche which I'm totally okay with . 2. there is a shark vacuum on sale at kohl for 199.99 its amazing,
  14. Andrea Wimsatt January 12, 2018 at 11:28 am #
    I’m on my second used Oreck xl, they are simply made and work very well. When I say used, I mean like manufactured in 1998, so yeah, they last a long time.
  15. Hannah January 12, 2018 at 11:40 am #
    The Mario Badescu enzyme cleansing gel changed my life!!! You must try. I have normal skin. (Harsh cleansers make it dry) I have been using the cleansing gel for a year now and it makes my skin feel so good!!! Highly recommend.
  16. Nicole January 12, 2018 at 11:50 am #
    My Dyson broke and after buying a new one and having to return it because it did not work... I finally settled on the Shark Rocket stick vacuum (20% off from Bed Bath and Beyond) and LOVE it! Works so much better then I’d even imagine and so versatile. I have mostly hardwood floors and it’s great.
  17. Kathleen January 12, 2018 at 12:08 pm #
    I'm mildly in love with my Dyson-and it was stupid expensive, even with a black Friday sale, but I broke our house rule (never buy anything after alcohol) and just bought the damn thing and seriously love it. It just freakin' works and after having one that was essentially a piece of junk for the past 5 years feels a bit glam. Also, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is golden-can't get enough and I hope Season 2 comes out soon because we just finished 1 and I am clamoring for more episodes! :)
  18. Claire January 12, 2018 at 12:44 pm #
    Get the Miele!! My whole family only uses them. I’ve had mine for 3 years (and am not very good at taking care of my nice things) and it works as new. Plus I think it’s pretty. Remodelista compares Dyson and Miele here
  19. Katie January 12, 2018 at 12:48 pm #
    Refurbished Dyson! Like new and about $200-250! Love mine!
  20. Jana January 12, 2018 at 1:05 pm #
    I clean houses for a living and love love love one of my clients Miele vacuum upright stick. It’s amazeballs! Lightweight superb suction easy to maneuver and all that good stuff. I’ve used Dysons but they are bulky and heavy. Sharks are great but not lifelong. And Eurekas are nice lightweight and great suction. Just a little bulky and basic. Hope this helps.
  21. Hayley January 12, 2018 at 2:00 pm #
    Oreck XL - hands down. My parents have one at their house and one at their cabin and I want to steal one of them to replace my sh*tty, cheap as crap Bissell. Oh, your vacuum is missing? Sounds like a you problem. Muuuaaahaha. But yes, Oreck XL. I hear Amazon has them for sale.
  22. Rachel January 12, 2018 at 2:12 pm #
    Love love love my Miele. Found it on sale at an Oreck store.
  23. Caitlin January 12, 2018 at 2:21 pm #
    Is it wrong to really want a giant canvas of your ice-on-the-windshield photo for my house? It's gorgeous!
  24. Rachel January 12, 2018 at 2:33 pm #
    1) looooove ole skincare so I’m so happy to see you using the heck out of it with clearly amazing results. 2) thought you said your shark had a butt hole (not a big hole) and I was mortified and then worried for my shark! 3) thank youuuuu for saying you Botox. just thank you. no bs or sneaky biz. I don’t. But only because $$! 4) you da best
  25. Regina January 12, 2018 at 3:05 pm #
    We have a Shark Rotator Professional Lift-Away Vacuum and LOVE it!!! The wand releases easily and makes it super easy to vacuum corners or anything you need a wand for. You can also adjust the suction with a slider if need be. I like that option especially when needing to vacuum something a little more delicate like curtains. It comes with a variety of attachments too. I wish i could attach a picture but can’t figure out how to, but But just copy and paste... Shark Rotator Professional Lift-Away Vacuum (NV501) 👆🏻 Love the skin care post!!! 😃 Thanks!!
  26. Emily aka The Three Bite Rule January 12, 2018 at 3:54 pm #
    I hate my Dyson with the passion of a 10000 toddler crumbs. I splurged and from day 1, I've found it not worth it. It 100% works so I'm hoping to pawn it off on some craigslister who will swoon at the brand so it will no longer mock me.
  27. Brittany January 12, 2018 at 4:47 pm #
    Any chance you can just buy and replace the leaky piece on your vacuum? I'm a cheapskate, and so when a part broke on my vacuum a couple years ago, rather than taking it in for repairs, I searched forums that suggested what belt to buy and followed a tutorial on YouTube to fix it lol...worked like a charm and am still using the it might be worth a shot!
  28. Emily January 12, 2018 at 5:04 pm #
    Okay I know you don't want to spend a fortune on a Dyson and people love to hate them. I HATED my Dyson upright, which I was talked into to replace my beloved Shark and I'm still bitter about it. I totally sold it to an ignorant Craigslister. BUT. I begrudgingly got the Dyson canister vac about 6 months ago and I am in freakin' love with it. Haaaaated my upright Dyson. LOVE their canister vac. It's got mad suction, all the attachments (that are actually worth their weight, not just that dumb whistling couch brush), it stays CLEAN and doesn't blow hairballs around. It's worth checking out...I promise.
  29. Becky January 12, 2018 at 5:20 pm #
    I had a Dyson for 10 years and hated it by the end of that 10 years. I bought a Miele 1 year ago and it was the best decision of my life. It totally makes vacuuming so much better!! My Dyson also had the hose hole... So obnoxious.
  30. Susan January 12, 2018 at 6:15 pm #
    When I was young, poor and cute I had Hoover, Eureka, Kenmore from Sears vacuums over the years. When I was a little older and had more money I bought a Dyson. Call me weird but I was not a fan. It sucked so dang hard on the carpet that I had to use two hands to push it and put my weight and back into it. Now I'm old, blew a disc in my back and kicked the Dyson to the curb (also known as my daughter's house). The Miele cost a ton compared to the others except for the Dyson, but I love this freakin' vacuum so much! It's amazingly quiet, does the job and now vacuuming doesn't feel like a whole body workout. Test drive one at Bed Bath and Beyond. It gets amazing reviews on line and people say they've had older ones for decades!
  31. Jodi-o January 12, 2018 at 6:16 pm #
    I got a practically brand new Dyson on Facebook marketplace for $25. I know I know - I got lucky - but you could get lucky. I my Dyson.
  32. Nancy January 12, 2018 at 6:18 pm #
    I am loving all the vac recommendations and I have heard the Mieles are great but I can't afford one right now. In fact, I did what Brittany did; watched a youtube video and was able to fix my piece of crap Hoover so at least it works for now. Thanks for all the skincare tips; good info! BTW, I will not watch Handmaid's Tale because you made it sound so disturbing and some people at work confirmed that it was but I will try Mrs. Maisel. That's all. Happy weekend!
  33. Kelly January 12, 2018 at 6:25 pm #
    Love that you use Ponds!! Preach! I have loved it for years!
  34. Lori S. January 12, 2018 at 7:50 pm #
    OMG, I'm tired and getting over a stomach bug (yuck!) but I totally can't figure out what you're doing tomorrow that rhymes with slawpmaqer. hahahaha. Oy.
  35. Nicole January 12, 2018 at 8:05 pm #
    I cant figure it out either???
    • Andrea Wimsatt January 14, 2018 at 4:32 pm #
  36. Anonymous January 12, 2018 at 8:51 pm #
    Sell the kidney. You have two. You need the cordless Dyson in your life. Also, what rymes with slawpmaqer? Coffe maker!?
  37. SUSAN MAHRT January 12, 2018 at 9:45 pm #
    This is my go to baked bean recipe! It’s from The Bitten Word and it’s delicious!!
  38. Shannon January 12, 2018 at 10:23 pm #
    Seriously love that you admit to using botox. I would love to try it for the first time but don’t know now which areas to focus on. Where did you first get it done on your face? I’m definitely going to try that eye cream, it sounds amazing!
    • Bev Weidner January 13, 2018 at 8:05 am #
      Oh, Botox is MAGIC. If you read that post I linked, I talk alllll about it! But it's super simple. You'll go in and raise your eyebrows in a mirror, and watch the wrinkles explode in protest. Then you'll scowl and watch the scowl lines do a little dance. Your doc will mark the areas you want smooth, and then she'll stick tiny needles in! Then all day you'll make dramatic expressions to get the meds to spread out. Then a few days later, your forehead is smooooooth like a teenager. It's wonderful.
  39. Maia January 13, 2018 at 1:32 am #
    I HATE our dyson. It’s big, heavy, bulky and awkward to use. But my husband likes it (he’s the one who bought it) so I make him do the vacuuming...hmm, now that I think about it, it seems like it all worked out in my favor!!Maybe getting a vacuum you hate is the answer? I do have a little cordless shark that I use day to day (like instead of sweeping up toddler Cheerio crumbs every 5 minutes all day long) and I like it, but it doesn’t do the heavy cleaning. It’s more like... an electric broom. Ps.all the comments make me want a Miele!
  40. Isabel Shaida January 13, 2018 at 6:42 am #
    MIELE is the BEST vacuum I have EVER used. EVER. THE BEST. by far. FAR. no doubt seriously
  41. Jenni M January 13, 2018 at 9:28 am #
    Try Paul Deans beans with pineapple,molasses, and French fried onions. You can make ahead and while the ingredient list is on the odd side they are remarkably tasty.
  42. Kristen January 13, 2018 at 10:13 am #
    I work with an older woman who has been cleaning homes for over 20 years, she uses what people have in their homes. She told me she likes the Shark vacuums much better than the Dysons. Personally, I won't use anything other than a Kirby and I highly recommend them. I also realize that most people don't have the budget for a brand new one. However, I have had friends who have bought used models at estate sales and garage sales. I have one friend who bought a 1950's model from a little old lady at a garage sale and she loves it. Nobody else on the market makes vacuums like Kirby, they last.
  43. Stefanie January 13, 2018 at 4:33 pm #
    Kirby Kirby Kirby all the livelong dayyy! You know that song right? Ages and ages, like we're talking decades here, ago a travelling salesman came to my parents house when my aunt and uncle were over and pitched a Kirby vacuum to them and they both bought it from him and THEY STILL USE IT TO THIS DAY. AND my uncle makes gobs and gobs of moolah and still will not buy a new one. So yeah, Kirby vacs, worth looking into!
  44. Ryan January 14, 2018 at 7:40 am #
    Re: the hmt, while I loved the show and Elizabeth moss and am thrilled it is coming back, I could have been 100% satisfied if the entire series ended there in all its ambiguous glory.
  45. Lisa January 15, 2018 at 8:20 am #
    I have a Dyson that I love and also inherited my moms Riccar which has to be over 25 years old and works like a charm. After going through a lot of cheap vacuums I've found that it's worthwhile to put some money into it since they seem to last a lot longer and they work really well. I have a dog so it gets a lot of use.
  46. Lindsay January 15, 2018 at 12:59 pm #
    I thought Retin-A creams were supposed to be the holy grail for women in our erm.. age bracket?
    • Bev Weidner January 16, 2018 at 5:58 am #
      I've heard and read that, as well! Do you know of anything magical for night time? I'd love to add it to my routine.
  47. Whitney January 16, 2018 at 11:56 pm #
    I’m intrigued by the Konjac sponge! Do you use it with cleanser or by itself?
  48. Anonymous January 17, 2018 at 7:15 am #
    How do you cleanse with a sponge if you use micellar water? I use it too, but with a cotton pad.
  49. Stacey January 19, 2018 at 6:51 am #
    I just left my Dyson behind and got a Shark Apex Powered Liftaway and I LOVE IT. So much better than my billion dollar Dyson Animal. Still pricey to be sure, but not as bad as a Dyson. Use a 20% off at BB&B for the best price I found. Thank you for all your tips.

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