Friday Flotsam


fall tree in the sun

I’ve decided the absolute worst thing in the entire world is when someone toots on an airplane.


Yet everyone ignores it.

This is the thing. I’ve personally never tooted on an airplane (I’m serious don’t look at me like that!), yet I feel like the guilty dealter every.single.time. I get so panicked! Where do they come from? The person in FRONT of me? That would make sense. But is it the person next to me? If it’s the person next to me, then surely the person on my other side thinks it’s me. Oh gawd they think it’s me. Everyone on this plane thinks it’s me! WAS IT ME?

I can’t handle it.

A few weeks ago I was traveling on an airplane, and I sat next to this harsh, heavy-makeup’d stewardess, who spoke on her cellphone with the angriest, chopping block-ish foreign accent. Of course, mid-flight someone cuts it. Most lethal toot stank of all time. The kind where you can’t close your mouth tight enough. It took over the entire plane and I thought we were going to crash. This GAL, you guys – GLARES AT ME and puts a huge scarf over her mouth and waves her giant hot-red fingernails in the air, waving the stench away. “It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me!,” shot out of my mouth like bb pellets on fire. I looked like I just stepped out of the bathtub I WAS SWEATING THAT HARD. She sunk deeper into her chair with her wrapped head away from me, huffing obscenities under her breath about me and my hair. Not really, but I’m pretty sure she was.

It wasn’t me!


the most terrifying couple of all time

Guess what!

I belieeeeve my email subscriber blog post notification thingy do wop is working again! I can’t even tell you how frustrating that whole thing was, MAILCHIMP. It took them over a week to respond to my emails. That ain’t right.

Tell me, if you’re a regular subscriber, did you get this post in your inbox? Or did you seek it out? Or see it on social? It’s helpful to know, in case I need to turn over more tables in a rage. You know.

And I think you got an email from me yesterday with like, 18 blog posts in one?

Sssssorry. – said like Gilly.

bottles and bottles and bottles

I need advice!

You’re like, PASS.

Something major happens in my life next week. The entire motivation and driving force to become a MOMMY, all lands in my lap next week. Colossally pivotal. Life fulfillment at its greatest.


I seriously don’t think there could be any greater joy, you guys. (you’re like, “just wait until it’s your 5th dern party of the year. you’ll be lighting a torch to those evil signup forms.”)

But listen – what should I take?! I signed up for savory snacks. Obviously. I want something simple, but festive. Some crazy easy but spooky snack that screams (hahaha) Halloween. Do you have anything fun that’s won all the kids over in the past? I HAVE TO BE THAT MOM.

Not really.

I guess I could just bring frozen peanut butter slices. I saw something about those online recently.

fall stuff on a wall

What’s left on your Halloween movie list? Tonight we’re doing The Conjuring PART TWO. And then Poltergeist. And then The Shining. And then It Follows. And then The Babadook. And then Insidious.

And then The Sound of Music because I’m going to need a serious soul cleanse and new underwear after all that.

pumpkins in a tub

Weekend plans?

It’s coooooold here today. Coldest day of the season! Still above 32 though. 44 is the high, to be exact. So it’s not crazy cold. But cold enough to have a fire tonight and make a slow-cooker Flemish Stew all day. We finally picked out our carving pumpkins yesterday, so we’ll get around to carving those bias on Sunday afternoon.

Let’s say, in a hypothetical world, if one were to add say, allspice or cinnamon to matcha tea, how disgusting would that be on a level from 1 to 10? Asking for a friend.

Oh – don’t forget to enter this bawdaw weekender bag giveaway!

ALSO, I NEED TO WATCH THIS IS US THIS MORNING. Was this week’s episode good? Did it reveal anything new? Will I cry? That was a stupid question.


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33 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Mo Guilfoile October 27, 2017 at 8:00 am #
    Maybe these finger hot dogs: JK might be a bit much for little gremlins. Depending on your gremlin :-). On movies, my teenager and I just watched Hush and it was pretty creepy. And while not super scary (some jump scares) but strangely heartwarming was Krampus. Plus, Adam Scott. So...
  2. Becky Zea October 27, 2017 at 9:15 am #
    I do not get your emails. I follow on Instagram and the book. The only reason why I don't sign up for emails is because I always see your stuff on social media, so I feel like I don't need an email reminder. I always enjoy your posts!! Ps. This one gave me the giggles really hard!
  3. Jennifer C. October 27, 2017 at 9:19 am #
    I did not get the subscriber e-mail for this post. I did get one about the bag yesterday but that's the first one I've received in a while.
    • Jennifer C. October 27, 2017 at 10:08 am #
      Scratch that...I just got the e-mail.
  4. Kathy H October 27, 2017 at 10:12 am #
    I somehow slipped off the notifications about a month ago. Maybe a week ago, or so, I signed up again to get the alerts, thought it wasn't working, but just got one this morning! Yay! Looks like we're back on track.
  5. Darcy October 27, 2017 at 10:13 am #
    I have Blogger, so you show up in my "Reading" feed. And maybe you could take hotdog mummies? Hotdogs wrapped in thin pizza dough (or crescent dough), or something similar.
  6. Alisha Mulkey October 27, 2017 at 10:15 am #
    I did Finally get this in my Inbox!! I was having a little withdraw from seeing them!! Glad they are back! 😘
  7. Nicole October 27, 2017 at 10:19 am #
    Got it today!! Welcome Back. Happy Friday.
  8. colleen K October 27, 2017 at 10:40 am #
    I got this in my email today and the one yesterday with the 18 posts!! ;0)
  9. Adrienne | Appetites Anonymous October 27, 2017 at 10:40 am #
    I got your email this morning and the one with like 18 posts yesterday!! p.s. where are your loafers from?! :)
  10. Denita October 27, 2017 at 10:47 am #
    I get your blog through a RSS no email notifications for me. Savory snack ideas. home made cheese crackers cut in to halloween snacks little sausage mummies (or hotdogs like others mentioned, although, I would cut the hotdog in 1/3s or 1/2s) Carrot disks can be cut into pumpkin shapes (cut the length of the carrot to create stem then cut into disks, see Pinterest) Tortillas cut into halloween shapes (bats, pumpkins, ghosts, etc) and made into chips, with or without seasoning Cheese slices cut into halloween shapes (apparently, I just think cutting stuff into shapes makes it into "halloween" snacks)
  11. Reagan H October 27, 2017 at 10:49 am #
    I got today's post via e-mail, as well as yesterday's. Those were the first in a long time though. We watched It Follows last night, finally, and it was pretty creepy.
  12. Jessica October 27, 2017 at 10:50 am #
    I got emails both yesterday and today!! Fingers crossed it keeps going in that direction!
  13. Stephanie October 27, 2017 at 11:57 am #
    I received the roundup of blog posts in an email yesterday and the Friday flotsam email today! Yes, back on track!!
  14. Bryn Broussard October 27, 2017 at 12:29 pm #
    Have not received any emails in a long time. No round up yesterday or notification of this post.
  15. Rose October 27, 2017 at 12:59 pm #
    I too have not received your emails lately. I went to my junk mail and found this post.but it was the only one there.
  16. Rachel October 27, 2017 at 1:05 pm #
    You crack me up! I 100% agree about airplane tooting. They say food tastes different up in the air-- well, I think toots must be WAY worse up there. Kid Halloween treats! Put some clusters of those googly eye sprinkles or whatever they're called and whatever it is will be a cute little monster. Saw tiny rice krispy treats dipped in different colored frostings with those and they were so cute.
  17. Phi @ The Sweetphi Blog October 27, 2017 at 1:08 pm #
    I've seen mini mummy pizzas, and they are just cutest thing ever! I cannot wait to be that mom too lol, good luck!
  18. Amber - Loves Food, Loves to Eat October 27, 2017 at 1:15 pm #
    Also add to your list: The Innkeepers and The House of the Devil. They're by the same dude, and stylistically top notch, but also really good!! For Halloween snack: lil smokey, wrapped in puff pastry, baked. Then use those crunchy chow mein sticking out the sides to MAKE SPIDERS.
  19. Sharon October 27, 2017 at 1:48 pm #
    Got it today. Wondered where you had gone. Missed you...
  20. Karen H Lawrence October 27, 2017 at 1:50 pm #
    I did get this via email. I follow you also on Instagram. I loved the tootin on the plane episode. So true :)
  21. Kacie October 27, 2017 at 2:59 pm #
    I saw a really cute witch face that had blue corn tortilla chips arranged to make a hat and the face was guacamole!
  22. Leslie October 27, 2017 at 3:33 pm #
    I finally started getting your posts again in my inbox.......I was having to seek them out for the past few weeks. Phew! The planets must be back in alignment again!
  23. Marisa October 27, 2017 at 5:16 pm #
    SO not super creative - but I did ghost cheesesticks and crackers one year. White cheese sticks with ghost faces drawn on the wrapper with a black sharpie. Basically 3 dots (2 eyes & a mouth). Perfect for my craftiness enthusiasm level.
  24. Sarah October 27, 2017 at 7:27 pm #
    Listen, I want to hear more about the frozen peanut butter. I love you and I'd love to hear the story about how that came about. I also fee like frozen peanut butter is something I want to eat right out of the freezer. As a snack. In fact, I am trying this tonight. I just want to hear this Bev story!! Tell us the details!!! ;)
    • Bev Weidner October 28, 2017 at 5:55 pm #
      Oh Lordy! IN SHORT, there were lots of hack ideas bouncing around, and the Food Network picked that one. (not my idea! I repeat: NOT MY IDEA.) So, I went with it, because it's THE FOOD NETWORK, right? None of us ever believed it would ever become what it became. Or that people would even care. Or get upset about it! I ignored the comments, and didn't follow it, but I heard it was bruuuuutal. :)
  25. Susan October 27, 2017 at 8:22 pm #
    Got it in email again for the second day in a row and I'm so happy! Also, glad to know I wasn't the only one. Loved the spooky face in the board above. Subtle and just a little creepy. Tell your friend to leave that matcha alone! Less is more.
  26. Lisa October 27, 2017 at 8:32 pm #
    One of the moms at preschool brought a veggie tray made into a skeleton with I think a hollowed out cabbage head filled with ranch. Carrot and celery stick bones, pepper slices for ribs, cucumber slices for vertebrae, cauliflower floret pelvis, broccoli, cherry tomato and sugar snap peas maybe? It was amazing. To the other moms. The three and four year olds were more excited about the box of goldfish crackers. I have an 8 year old now and my go to is a giant vat of coconut oil stovetop popcorn.
  27. Joni October 28, 2017 at 4:56 am #
    Yaaaaaay! Email notifications are fixed! I got the email with a week’s worth of posts and was like, “AACK. Overwhelmed.” I love the single post notification. Freaking mailchimp. It’s probably Curious George’s day job. That monkey needs supervision.
    • Bev Weidner October 28, 2017 at 9:20 am #
      I know I know! That's the only email you'll get with ALL the past posts in them. Swearsies. (<--sorry.)
  28. Trisha October 28, 2017 at 6:50 am #
    The imprint on the wood sort of looks like ovaries and the fallopian tubes!!! HAHAHAHA!
  29. Lori H October 28, 2017 at 1:27 pm #
    OF COURSE you will cry when you watch This is Us! My kids are 25 and 22 so all cute Halloween snacks have left the building (ie my brain) to make room for something else. Once I have grandkids, I will be relying on Pinterest for inspiration! I read the tooting story to my husband - we both cracked up. Too bad you didn't have a dog with you - they are easy to blame for toots. haha
  30. Turner October 28, 2017 at 3:35 pm #
    Tell me more about Flemish stew...

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