Friday Flotsam

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Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

And not only that, it’s a LAWNG WEEKEYEND! All the joy. All the praises. All the rosés.

Do you have big plans for your Labor Day holiday!? I need to hear them. NEED.

Our best pals from Arkansas are driving up this afternoon for a giant brewery play date/cook out. (You can expect to see an Instagram/72362 Snapchats of the babies with Iris later on. I deeply apologize in advance.)

Then tomorrow morning we’re headed to meet my entire family in Branson! Hahahah. I don’t know why I laugh. I’ve never really been to Branson, except once during the middle of the night, when I woke up thinking we were in a mini Las Vegas, but with lots of Denny’s and Andy Williams impersonators.

What’s it like?? Have you ever been? My parents rented a GIANT cabin/house thing on the lake, and I am lawk, sewww ready to get away and not think about anything for a few days.

I may need to bring Eeyore on this trip. He’s been pretty down lately.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Few fun things this week, around ze web! These were on my FB pages, but I’ll include them here, just in case you missed it.

*I am beyond honored to be featured on Foodiecrush this week! Heidi says such nice things about me. Thank you dearly, Heidi. I’ll paypal you later.

*I wrote an article about Will’s slow speech on What to Expect. I know I touched on it here a while back, but it’s been a bit, and I go in a little deeper. And it’s serious. And you might hate me. Want me to make you a cookie?

*I have new(ish) recipe on the Food Network! It’s Chicken Stir-Fry: two ways. One for the kid faces and one for the adult faces.


Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Sooooo I’ve been internally debating on whether or not to bring this up here, because it’s pretty weird. And definitely disgusting. But then I was like, wait a minute, it’s me. Of course I’ll tell you.

Okay, so Natalie is obsessed with sticking her hand down her pants. WHAT IS THAT. Why does she do it? I spend half of my day saying the words, “Get your hand out of your pants. Get your HAND OUT OF YOUR PANTS.” This isn’t how I envisioned my life, you guys.

I mean, I thought this would be more of a boy thing. But my GIRL? No. What. No.

For a while (yes, it’s been going on an entire WHILE) Aaron thought she might have a UTI, but she’s definitely not in pain. It can’t be that.

Then we thought she might have a mosquito bite. But there’s nothing there! Unless it’s a ghost bite. Which I’ve heard about. But I think it’s more common in like, Arabia or something.

(is this getting weird? because I still have more to say.)

I mean seriously, she just walks around with her frickin’ hand down her pants. The front, not the back. I want to barf. She looks like an old man on a crusty sofa with empty beer cans scattered around at the end of Thanksgiving day. I’ve been calling her Earle.



Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

This next subject is definitely more tolerable to the eyes/heart/internal digestive organs.

I need help! (not that kind)

How does one fix a shoelace? This is the problem: I have a shoelace that’s pretty mangled. I feel like I need to cut off the mangled part, and make a new end – the tiny glued part. I obviously suck at shoelace lingo. Is there a little tool I need for this? What do I do? How do you make that little crimp on the end?

I’m embarrassing myself right now. Never mind.

But I still need to know.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Long weekend plans?! It’s basically faaaaaaaall! I’m so giddy for this.

Oh! (<–last exclamation point, I swear) If you know of any fun puzzle sites, please let me know. I’m unreasonably obsessed with puzzles and word games, and with a long road trip ahead, I neeeeeeed it. Hook it up, yo.

One last thing – do NOT forget about my ’90s mix I made! (<–I lied.) You absolutely need these jams to survive Labor Day weekend. This is the truth I speak.

Get yo’ weekend! (<–another lie.)


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10 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Juliette September 4, 2015 at 8:34 am #
    I like to play bookworm on my phone.
  2. Catherine September 4, 2015 at 8:52 am #
    I'm not a mom, but I represent children as a lawyer and have taken classes relating to normal child sexual development. What Natalie is doing is totally normal toddler sexual development- she's figured out that "Oh hey, this feels good." Help her understand that that sort of behavior is okay in private, but not in public places. "That is your private area/vagina and other people besides the doctor, mommy, and daddy shouldn't see it, touch it, etc." As she gets older (4-5 years old) she should start to figure out the public place vs. private bedroom/bathroom distinction and won't blatantly stick her hand down her pants in public anymore.
    • Bev Weidner September 4, 2015 at 9:11 am #
      Oh, totally. I know that sort of development is on its way, but...this young!? It's more grandpa-ish than anything. :)
  3. TheOtherJennifer September 4, 2015 at 10:50 am #
    maybe she's ready to ditch the diaper. Totally feel ya on the hand down the pants, tho, very grandpa on the couch with a can of Schlitz.
  4. nicole @ I am a Honey Bee September 4, 2015 at 12:03 pm #
    if I had a dollar for every time I had to say "Don't touch there!" or "Don't put your finger in your butt!!!" at every diaper change/bath time to my 21 month old daughter I would be sipping pina coladas on the beach somewhere VS saying "Don't put your finger in your buttttttttt!!" again and again. it's just another body part to them so it's normal but i wish it wasn't. :-(
  5. Andrea September 4, 2015 at 1:19 pm #
    The little thing on the end of your shoelace is called an "egglet". They may sell kits online to replace them... OR you can just be janky (like me) and use a piece of clear or packing tape cut to the right width and wrapped a few times... I assumed we're talking about sneakers? OR, you know, just buy some new shoelaces.
  6. Jenna September 4, 2015 at 3:56 pm #
    I have already had several of your mixtape songs stuck in my head this week! As for word games, I enjoy Ruzzle. Have a great weekend!
  7. Lindsay September 9, 2015 at 7:40 am #
    I'm a therapist and putting your hands in warm places is kind of a ... thing. Your crotch is warm - boom. It's the same idea as people who sleep with their hands balled up in their neck or armpits (see also: SUPERSTAR). It's comforting and she's figured that out. Of course, it's weird because
  8. Lindsay September 9, 2015 at 7:42 am #
    I'm a therapist and putting your hands in warm places is kind of a ... thing. Your crotch is warm - boom. It's the same idea as people who sleep with their hands balled up in their neck or armpits (see also: SUPERSTAR). It's comforting and she's figured that out. Of course, it's weird because the pelvic region is seen as gross or private or special, but it's totally normal - I find that most adults, when honest with themselves, can admit that they've woken up a time or two with their hands down their pants in a totally non-sexual way. Warmth + comfort is all it is. She'll learn soon that it's a weird thing to do in the light of day, and lay off without much of a fight. We're pretty hardwired to copy others, so when she realizes that no one else wanders around like that she'll stop too. You're not weird, she's not weird, but take lots of pictures for her rehearsal dinner all the same. :)
    • Bev Weidner September 11, 2015 at 7:57 am #
      See now THAT makes sense to me. I've never thought about warmth and comfort. Hello, exactly.Thank you!

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