Friday Flotsam

Idayfray! (<–remember pig latin? it was an awful trend wasn’t it? shall i never speak of it again? right on.)

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

So, you know how when you’re peeing, you can’t do anything else at all. Once the pee starts, you are stationary, and there’s no getting around it. There could be a tsunami straight up inhaling your neighborhood, and you’d be sitting there all, “Would you mind giving me just a few more seconds? Kinda busy here. Cool, I’ll be right with you.”


The other night I came face to face with death and had zero control over it. Because of pee.

See, I had to get up in the middle of the night to change Will’s apocalyptic diaper, and while I was at it, I decided to empty the tank before getting back in bed. I turn on the shower light, so not to blast my delicate pupils, only to look over, mid-pee, to see a HUGE GRAY SPIDER DRAGON crawling over the toilet paper roll. But you can’t move! You’re peeing! You have no choice! Peeing has trapped you in this ghastly situation and holding you captive. I’m all leaning waaaaay to the left, “omg omg omg omg AARON. AARON. AARON!”- all while still peeing. Stupid pee.

So then once I was FINALLY done (15 years later), I grabbed a shoe, smashed it, screamed a little, disposed of the body, and got back in bed.

I’ll never recover, PEE.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

I’m just going to say this: I’m officially obsessed with Snapchat. !!! I can’t stop. It’s a complete disaster for you to watch and I’m truly sorry. I have to admit, it’s weird just putting it out there and then . . . that’s that. No likes. No comments. No interaction. The snap is birthed and released into the world, just out there, living a snappy life of its own. I can’t decide if there’s a beauty in the whole system, or if it’s just annoying. I’ll get back to you on that.

(Also, Eeyore is finally recovering from his fall in the lake. aka: our kiddie pool. I know you’ve been concerned.)

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Shishiiiiiitos. Oh my gosh. I want to replace my face with these. Have you blistered some yet? I used Heidi’s 5-minute recipe for these, and they’re just fantastic. Seriously, seek them out this weekend at the farmer’s market or Trader Joe’s and get to blisterin’. And listen to “Blister in the Sun” by Violent Femmes whilst blistering. Super inception-y.

I’m hosting book club at my house next week and going to serve 14 buckets of these pups. But I can’t decide what else to serve! I’m thinking my slow-roasted bruschetta maybe? What else, what else? If you have any scrumptious summery dips or appies, paaaalease let me know.

We read Luckiest Girl Alive– have you read it? I KIND of liked it. It didn’t make me stabby.

I need new book suggestions to throw out next week, so I’m desperate to know what you guys are reading. I know we talked about this months ago, but that was . . . months ago. What should we reaaad? What should we eaaaat? Help meh.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

So it’s my birthday weekend! And GUESS WHAT. We finally pulled the umbilical plug and got a babysitter. He’s an older man, and has been out of prison like, ten months already! So I feel like the babes are in great hands.

You guys I’m totally kidding!

He was in a mental institution.

Anyway, I’ll be 39 and trying to embrace this whole LAST YEAR OF MY THIRTIES thing. I have no freaking idea how this happened. Thirty nine. What the h, man. I remember when we were kids and my dad turned 40. There were black balloons and a tombstone decoration and all this over-the-hill ish. And now I’m HERE. Staring that hill up the nostrils.

I realize I’m probably overwhelming you right now, so I’ll simmer down.

Anyway, lots of bday festivities are on ze books! Giant outdoor flea market extravaganza at the drive-in theater, a lovely pizza and rosé date with my beau in an outdoor, narrow alleyway with greenery and twinkling lights above, a solo trail run on Sunday morning (the actual bday), and a park picnic Sunday afternoon with our best friends. Don’t worry, I’ll blow up your phones with my snappies.

And I’ll definitely keep calling them snappies.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Weekend plans?! I just told you mine, so I could either copy and paste it here again, or not do that at all.

Hello, can you believe I didn’t mention Seinfeld ONCE? How depressing.

(okay bye. leave me book suggestions! bye again.)

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34 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Erica B August 21, 2015 at 7:42 am #
    Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel
  2. Lesley August 21, 2015 at 8:51 am #
    Happiest of birthday wishes and weekends! You rock.
  3. Julie August 21, 2015 at 8:52 am #
    If you haven't read "Still Alice" by Lisa Genova yet, it's one of my faves. So is "Sarah's Key" by Tatiana de Rosnay and "The Storyteller" by Jodi Picoult. Have a GREAT b-day wknd!!!
    • Mom24_4evermom August 22, 2015 at 3:48 pm #
      Love, love, love Still Alice. SO goood! Loved The Day We Met by Rowan Coleman too. Weird because they're both about Alzheimer's, but still, so good.
  4. Maya August 21, 2015 at 9:04 am #
    Grilled haloumi cheese! Do a little scattered platter with it topped with pesto and some blistered cherry tomatoes. It screams summer... and the cheese actually squeaks in your teeth, so that'll make for fun conversation over wine.
  5. Julie @ Table for Two August 21, 2015 at 9:08 am #
    Hahaha I love your snaps. So glad you're hooked now ;) also, is that your spice closet/pantry?! Can you or Aaron come do mine? I would babysit the gremlins as payment!!
    • Bev Weidner August 21, 2015 at 12:07 pm #
      Haha! It's not ours. It's my fave local spice shop!
  6. Jamie | The Kitchenarium August 21, 2015 at 9:31 am #
    Your snapchats have me rolling. The other day I heard my four year old singing "bubbity-do, bubbity-do" That ish is burned into my brain now.
  7. Julie August 21, 2015 at 9:37 am #
    Favorites from last few months: The Mountain Story (Lori Lansens), The Boys in the Boat (Daniel James Brown), Still Alice (Lisa Genova), Necessary Lies (Diane Chamberlain). All good book club options if you haven't read. Sorry to admit that I did NOT love Go Set a Watchman...
  8. Liz A August 21, 2015 at 10:09 am #
    Happy Birthday!!! I'm still waiting for the library to give me Luckiest Girl since forever. My most recent favorite reads are: Circling the Sun, the Nightingale, and A Spool of Blue Thread.
  9. Julie T August 21, 2015 at 10:28 am #
    I am currently reading "The Kind Worth Killing" by Peter Swanson and i can't. put. it. down. Its all kindas of twists and turns, great book! have a wonderful birthday weekend!!
  10. Annalee August 21, 2015 at 10:28 am #
    I just finished Viscous by V.E Schwab. It was different than any other books I had read and I actually really enjoyed it!! I think it would make a great book club read though... lots of room for discussion:)
  11. Rachel August 21, 2015 at 10:40 am #
    While these are not new books, I discovered them this summer and loved, loved, loved them: (1) The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, (2) Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and (3) Americanah by the same author.
    • Rachel August 21, 2015 at 10:42 am #
      Also, your spider hostage story will give me nightmares. I'm glad you made it out alive!
  12. Emily August 21, 2015 at 10:53 am #
    Just want to say - obsessed with your snap stories! Those babies are too cute. PS that spider story is NOT OKAY. I get giant spiders in my shower ... which i only notice midshower and just FREEZE and stare. I can't.
  13. Steph August 21, 2015 at 10:57 am #
    Happy happy birthday! Maybe it be filled with laughter, fun and no spiders.
  14. Nikki Lynn August 21, 2015 at 11:51 am #
    Dark places by Gillian Flynn!
  15. Mary Caroline August 21, 2015 at 12:18 pm #
    Me Before You by Jojo Moyes!! Seriously the greatest. You can thank me later. And Happy Birthday!!!
  16. Colleen August 21, 2015 at 12:48 pm #
    The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. My favorite book of 2015.
  17. Hayley August 21, 2015 at 12:57 pm #
    Happy Birthday! Pizza and rose dates are my favorite, hope you have a blast! Two of the best books I've read in awhile (both food memoirs): -It Was Me All Along, by Andie Mitchell -My Berlin Kitchen, by Luisa Weiss
  18. Diana August 21, 2015 at 1:15 pm #
    If you haven't read Big Little Lies or The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty, you must! Also, We Were Liars was a pretty good book and a quicker read. Hope you have a great birthday!
  19. Grace August 21, 2015 at 1:43 pm #
    Read Room if you havent's becoming a movie and the trailer ( looks awwwwesome. Or read Modern Romance (the new book by Aziz Ansari). Your snapchat of your child eating salsa hit home hard...who doesn't love a good bowl of salsa and a spoon.
  20. Patty August 21, 2015 at 2:28 pm #
    Great book, especially if you love food: Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal
  21. Ashley August 21, 2015 at 4:55 pm #
    I just have to say you are the best thing that has happened to snapchat. I am checking my phone every hour just to see what you post! Whenever I watch your videos I get weird looks from my man but whatever. They just don't understand your awesomeness. Keep the snappies coming! :)
  22. Mia August 21, 2015 at 6:01 pm #
    Happy birthday Bev! Your snaps (or should I say snappies) kill me. All those voices you do! And your kids' apathy! Hilarious. Keep em coming!
  23. Lindsay August 22, 2015 at 7:45 am #
    I, um, read exclusively chick lit because I actually DO work at a mental institution and can't handle serious stuff after work, so let's not go there. On appetizers, however, I can help! These tomatoes get me the most compliments of anything I make, ever, and I used to own a catering company. They're made with canned tomatoes, are stupid easy, but SERIOUSLY. They're kind of like your golden roasted tomatoes you referenced, but juicier and cheaper to make (hence, canned tomatoes). If you don't go the fresh route try these! The leftovers can be used where you'd use olive oil in a marinara, like a little starter, and holy hell. Happy Birthday!
  24. Kathy August 22, 2015 at 7:57 am #
    Normal:The Novel, by Graeme Cameron. couldn't put it down.
  25. Christine August 23, 2015 at 9:25 am #
    I just finished Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand and it was so amazing!! Heavy but so amazing. Also loved At the Water's Edge by Sara Gruen. And Happy happy birthday!!
  26. Susan S August 23, 2015 at 8:28 pm #
    I hope your birthday played out exactly as you planned and was amazing. Some of my summer reads included Shanghai Girls by Lisa See and The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd (also wrote The Secret Life of Bees and if y ou haven't read that then YOU MUST DO THIS!). I hope you have read The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls because if you haven't then your life is not complete. Also, that book is something you can just hand to someone in your life who whines over stupid stuff too much. If Ms. Walls doesn't whine, then no one should. Ever.
  27. Natalie August 23, 2015 at 10:01 pm #
    Ok don't hate me. But THIS.BOOK. --> Shantaram. It might be like 900 and something pages, but whatever, ok. Its epic shizzz and worth however many sleepless nights it takes you to get through it, because yes, there will be lots of them and yes, it will be WORTH IT. Oh and food - something slathered in salted caramel. Just because. Most importantly...HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I'm 35 this year and feel like having a meltdown as October (and old age) approaches. Ha! Mad love x
  28. Jess Stone August 24, 2015 at 5:56 am #
    That Night by Chevy Stevens...awesome read. Hope your birthday weekend was most fabulous! I love reading your blog!!
  29. Sheila August 24, 2015 at 8:44 am #
    Happy birthday! Just joined the 39 club's just not fantastic but I'm determined to make it so. Just discovered your website and I'm in fantastic! I finished watching Parenthood last night and am devastated that it's over; saw your post about a similar feeling and I completely understand. Books! Some suggestions: The Forest Lover by Susan Vreeland; Shantaram (it is long but fantastic); H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald; A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (requires no brain power but strangely addictive).
  30. Tif September 1, 2015 at 9:13 am #
    Just read Crazy Rich Asians and then the sequel China Rich Girlfriend and buy some expensive chocolates because you will then feel like a baaaallller. Or for reals, I loved Bel Canto by Ann Patchett and The Ex-Pats by Chris Pavone.

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