So I’m about to go kayaking.
I’m not sure what I think about an activity with the work YAK right in the middle of it. AND, we’re kayaking in an area called SALT MARSH. What the wonk is a salt marsh?! I’m sorry, but A-L-L-I-G-A-T-O-R is all I hear.
On top of that, it’s a 3-hour tour. A THREEEEE-HOUR TOUUUUR. No one was rightly amused when I burst into song.
So before I head off to climb into a kaYAK, fall out mid-row, drown in a marsh filled with salt and get polished off by 27 ravenous alligators in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, I want to show you this guacamole tuna salad rawl quick.
Take an avocado and mash her up.
(I wonder what my funeral is going to be like.)
Add a can of tuna, some dehydrated tomatoes, cilantro, lime juice and cumin.
(Like, would it be weird if my husband sang at it? Or would he even be able to? OMG who is going to sing?)
Once you mix all that up, you add a handful of arugula or baby spinach or kale, whatevs. Throw in a pinch of salt, pepper and mix her up.
(I wonder if I could request Wilson Phillips NOW. I mean it doesn’t have to be them in person, maybe the CD? The song could be “Release Me.” You know, like the gator did NOT release me?)
And then you make a cute little mound like this and top it with toasted pepitas.
(SURELY the funeral will be in Kansas City, so some of you guys won’t even have to make travel plans! I think of everything, don’t I?)
And then you simply stalk this tuna salad with 95% of your body under water, with only your beady eyes peaking above the water line, and then you’ll lunge towards it, violently snapping it with your jaw, applying a sick amount of pressure and swallowing it in one breath.
Oh wait. Thaaaaat would be me.
Guacamole Tuna Salad:
What it took for 1:
* 1 avocado
* 1 can tuna fish, drained
* 1/4 cup dehydrated (or sundried) tomatoes
* 1/2 lime
* 1/2 tsp cumin
* 1/2 chopped cilantro
* 2 cups baby greens
* 1 pinch coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
* 1/4 cup toasted pepitas
In a large bowl, mash the avocado. Add the tuna, tomatoes, lime juice, cumin, cilantro and pinch of salt and pepper. Stir to combine.
Add the baby greens and give it another stir.
Serve with toasted pepitas.
Lunch just landed in yo’ face.
*if you don’t like the idea of eating an entire avocado in one sitting, just half it.
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