LIKE REALLY. A MILKMAN. A MILK. MAN. But let me back up a bit. A few Saturdays ago, we were headed out for a routine trip to our local nursery for a (YES, ANOTHER) round of garden plants. As we pulled away from the gardening center with our haul, I noticed this small, but bright […]
Did you honestly think they’d let someone like me even cross the prison threshold? Please. Let’s talk about coffee mugs! Also known as, the cockcrow caffeine-carrying cauldron of cheer. But I’m not dramatic about it or anything. It all started, I want to saaay, two Mother’s Days ago. Aaron came home from work early on […]
(This post is definitely in partnership with Wonderful Halos, but all ramblings and citrus inhaling are my own. We coo?) Halos! Raise your hand if you bring one or 40 of these bags home from the grocery store every week? (I’m raising both hands. And legs.) I remember growing up what a PAIN peeling an […]
Also known as, I turned 40 and had a Herculean panic attack. It’s one of those things we’re not really supposed to talk about. We might even be trained to feel guilty about it. Or heaven forbid, vain. Because you know, we have to keep our kids happy! Our homes clean! Our marriages solid! Our […]
Zzzzzzzzzzzz. (This post is definitely in partnership with Dirty Lemon, but all ramblings and opinions are totally my own. I’m whispering this, so I don’t wake you. We coo?) Sleep. SLEEP. Sleep. Do you know this word I speak of? Ring any snooze buttons? Ah, you might vaguely remember this “sleep” thing. Long before your […]
Happy 2017! I think I already said that the other day, but I’ll say it again. Happy 2017! That probably makes three times now. Whatever. “People stopped saying “whatever” five years ago.” “Whatever. I’m outie 5000.” <–name that show. Before we get too nestled into the new year, I wanted to go back and give you my […]
You know I like rosé, right? I like rosé. The wine. I like it a lot. The rosé wines. So I hosted a blind tasting party! And by blind I mean, we were blindfolded. I didn’t jab my guest’s eyeballs out upon arrival. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not that kind of person. It was […]
Warning: What you are about to experience are 15,987,235 photos of me in a bikini. AHHH LAAAAAWD I KEED. We went to Nickelodeon! With two toddlers. To another country. The Dominican Republic. Punta Cana to be exact. We went there. But not like, Nickelodeon STUDIOS. There was no Marc Summers present. But . . . […]
Warning: what you are about to see is an unforgivable amount of selfies. These things can’t be helped. Please don’t delete me from your life. Also, I got new glasses! THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR LOVE. Also, I don’t even know what is going on with my face in this photo. If this was the […]
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFriday. Do your hands ever forget what they’re supposed to do? You know like, muscle memory? Actually, not that. But more like, they just straight forget the order of movemental motions. Okay wait. What I mean, specifically, is when you’re either rubbing eye makeup remover on your face, or applying moisturizer. You know how your […]
