Friday Flotsam

FA RU IA DE AY.

bright orange tree

You know what I think?

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK, EARL?

Just kidding.

I think I’d like to take a watercolor class!

AS IN, me attempting to paint with paints on some sort of fabric and not completely destroy it.

And I’m not talking about one of those cheesy drink and paint classes (although now that I’m typing it out that’s completely what I’m talking about) that you all paint the same wine glass or bowl of grapes or sunset. No. Not that. Maybe.

I want to learn WATERCOLOR. With soft, warm autumnal tones. Something abstract (to hide my mistakes) and earthy (to express my soul) and simple (because I’m clueless). And no bright lime green walls. But with that whole wine thing I mentioned. And Bolero playing in the background. Or mid-’90s Fiona Apple.

Does this exist?

I MEAN IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK?

You’d go with me, right?

beautiful wrapping paper by Elizabeth Suzann

Guess what else I think about.  (and this ^^^ isn’t watercolor. It was the paper wrapped around my Elizabeth Suzann order, which I’ll be showing you soon. Gorgeous, right!? I sort of want THAT VIBE, but in watercolor. Mine’s going to look like a murder.)

But guess what else I think about in my brain.

And I’m SERIOUS here. Dead serious. Totally srz.

You know how they say when your arms are crossed, you send a closed-off message to the world or whoever you’re communicating with? WHAT IF THAT’S JUST YOU BEING COMFORTABLE?

Because I love crossing my arms! It’s cozy. It’s like a little self hug. But I’m always too dang AWARE of it when I’m with people and never do it. I don’t want to send negative messages, guys! (I’m trying not to panic.)

ESPECIALLY (and this is the dead serious part. I’m clearly way too much in my head.) when I’m at the salon and getting my hair washed. I make a conscious effort to gently clasp my hands with my palms up. Because (I’m laughing out loud typing this) I’m afraid if my arms are crossed she won’t MASSAGE MY SCALP BECAUSE I’M GIVING OFF NEGATIVE ENERGY.

Hahahaha! What on earth. This is my life.

But really! I feel like if my palms are up, it says, “Wash and massage forever. As long as you live and breathe. Just keep washing my hair and massaging my scalp because my palms are open and my energy is positive. I’m not closed off to you or this experience. I trust you. Get up in my hers.”

DO YOU DO THIS? Or think about this at all at the salon? Or ever?

No?

Really?

. . .oh.

never mind.

. . . . . carry on.

s'mores at home

Okay.

You know those tiny blue rubber bands that come wrapped around scallions? Do you throw those away, or do you toss them in your junk drawer?

YOU’RE IN ONE CAMP OR THE OTHER, CHACHI.

‘Fess up. Throw ’em out? Or keep them for some Real Simple-style hack that they used to publish in the magazines?

Spill it.

celebratory drinks

Um, did you know Kim Crawford IS A MAN?

A MAN.

HE’S A DUDE.

ALL MALE.

I’ve always called my sauv blanc Kimmy. “Get me my Kimmy! I love her so.”

HER.

Guys.

I’m speechless.

Just excuse me as a rearrange my entire life.

feet and leaves

Weekend plans?

It’s going to be 70 (SEVENTY ! ! !) degrees tomorrow, so I’m shifting my work schedule for an obvious outdoor play day. With rosé. AND KIM THE MAN SPECIES. Guys.

Today we’ll bling our Halloween costumes (never got around to it last week!), have a cozy fire tonight and watch something completely terrifying. I also want to go out to dinner because I’ve cooked at home for the last ever.

I realize this last part is dragging on. What are you eating for dinner tonight? What are you watching? TELL ME ALL THE THINGS.

I also realize there’s a hefty amount of screaming in this post. Ssssssssarry.

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19 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Kate October 26, 2018 at 8:14 am #
    I bought a Sauv Blanc a few weeks ago by William Hill, and it made me think of This Is Us. Is that character producing wine in his afterlife? I used to save the rubber bands before I finally decided to get my act together and buy a drawer organizer for my junk drawer *in addition to* a tiny packet of different sized rubber bands from Target. Store-bought, pre-packaged rubber bands? I am officially adulting.
  2. Courtney October 26, 2018 at 9:08 am #
    Gahhhh I worry about the same thing! I'm a comfy arm crosser but I find myself purposely palms up with people. Sometimes I'll cross just one arm and talk with the other (Thanks French and Italian genes). Haahhh Scallion elastics I always save.
  3. CJ | A WELL-READ TART October 26, 2018 at 10:14 am #
    I always stand with my arms crossed. It's just comfortable for me, plus I'm always cold, so it helps keep me warm! When I was 14 and at band camp with a whole bunch of new, strange kids (I was the lone private school kid going into public school), someone came up and told me I shouldn't stand like that because it was off-putting to other people. I was like, thanks, I was already anxious about being the new kid, but NOW I feel REALLY at ease! *insert sarcasm drip here* That comment -- though I do think it was meant kindly -- has stayed with me for aaaaages, and I always think about it when I'm standing in a group of relative strangers with my arms crossed, just bein' comfy...
  4. Nicole Robertson October 26, 2018 at 10:15 am #
    I was just at a conference and I had to remind myself all day to let the arms dangle. I kept looking at others to see if they were arm crossing. It made me feel so good when I caught someone.
  5. Dee October 26, 2018 at 10:16 am #
    Scallion elastics? No. Asparagus rubberbands? Definitely! And I too am an arm crosser (what else can you do when you have no pockets?) and am worried I look standoffish. I don't mean to!
  6. andrea October 26, 2018 at 10:36 am #
    I've been wanted to watercolor forever too! Just need to buck up and do it I guess. And MIND BLOWN about Kim Crawford, literally, what?!?!? I've been drinking her/his wine forever, one of my faves. I will never be the same again...
  7. Simone October 26, 2018 at 11:21 am #
    Completely agree with the crossed arms. I do it ALL THE TIME and half the time it's because I'm probably cold (not cold hearted, just temperature cold). And it bothers me that I have to drape my arms awkwardly at my side like a goon just to make sure I'm not sending untrue body language messages with crossed arms.
  8. Amanda R October 26, 2018 at 11:51 am #
    Yes we save all the rubber bands! Also, I love crossing my arms! It's how I feel most comfortable, but I always worry about that whole "closed off" thing. But maybe I secretly am feeling that way :) Weekend: hopefully eating some veggies (it's been a rough week, food-wise!) and Hallmark Christmas movies start!!!
  9. Kristin October 26, 2018 at 12:28 pm #
    I toss the rubber bands. I just saw on Facebook that a friend took at watercolor class at the Nelson-Atkins. I'm thankful for good weather, because we are going to the demonstration for Transgender Rights tomorrow afternoon.
  10. Nancy October 26, 2018 at 12:30 pm #
    I've always thought painting with water colors would be fun too and I've tried it and it looked basically like a 5 year old did it. But I suppose if I kept at it, it would improve? I keep my arms crossed because I honestly don't want strangers coming up and talking to me! Ha! But seriously, I hate making small talk at functions and I don't need any more weirdos in my life! All rubber bands go on my homemade rubber band ball! You should see that baby bounce! Happy Friday!
  11. Lisa October 26, 2018 at 12:39 pm #
    OMG I just found out that Kim Crawford is a man like a month ago and my mind was blown for like DAYS!!!! Glad I'm not the only one! Have a great weekend. Love your blog!
  12. Lori H October 27, 2018 at 6:43 am #
    I love crossing my arms, so comfortable! And yet I am completely self-conscious of how my body language is saying something I don't mean. Curses on whoever first came up with the whole crossed arms = stay away! As for both green onion and asparagus rubber bands, I CUT them every time, otherwise I end up decapitating or mangling said vegetable while trying to take them off. Love your Friday Flotsams! I laugh every time. Thanks for that!
  13. Sandy October 27, 2018 at 8:41 am #
    Yes! I'm neurotic about the arm hug. I look like a fool clasping and unclasping myself as I shift between discovering my arms are crossed, and then having them migrate up my middle for a snuggle without my realizing it. Now I read recently that it can also signify you are paying attention. Time to practice my thoughtful listening face. (cock head, slightly furrow brows, maintain eye contact, nod frequently. Or maybe pull head back, open eyes REAL wide, nod frequently? Or shift rapidly between both? Then no one will notice the arms. . .)
  14. Susan October 27, 2018 at 8:06 pm #
    Late to the party here but DO THE WATERCOLOR THING! Sorry, but I mean it. I did it and loved it. The instructor gives you these tips that make your first thing so half-way decent that you want to keep at it. I am one of those people who want to do everything perfectly so this was a good exercise in just letting go. If I had tried this at home, by myself, I would have been terrified that I'd mess up the watercolor paper so nothing would have happened. Honestly, I think I'm getting better at the painting part, but more importantly, this has made me less paralyzed when it comes to trying something, and being less afraid to make a mistake or fail.
  15. Stefanie October 27, 2018 at 10:23 pm #
    Rubber. Band. Ball. years ago I began making one and now I add every produce band that I come across to it. its getting quite large. I can't quite believe it either. try it, its fun!
  16. Jackie Jacobs November 3, 2018 at 8:07 pm #
    I am trying to learn to paint with water coior & also gouache. I know Oana Befort has classes on Creative Bug. I remember one being simple techniques of mixing & blurring paint. A great way to start 🎨 So much fun & supples can be brought with easily when you travel. Oh & I only save the big blue broccoli 🥦 rubber bands....not sure why but 💁‍♀️...
  17. Alex November 3, 2018 at 9:19 pm #
    I just taught an autumnal watercolor class for beginners last week, in fact! It was amazing. At a local cidery and everyone came with so little confidence and left with pretty autumn watercolor wreaths.
    • Bev Weidner November 4, 2018 at 7:25 am #
      Alex! I KNOW. Thew were loooovely watercolors! I get your emails and always wiiiiish I could come to a class. But I'm in KC. Maybe someday!
  18. CWC November 4, 2018 at 9:05 am #
    Name of your new book “Arms Crossed and Palms Up the inner workings of my brain”

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