Friday Flotsam

Fmmmmmmmmusay! I mean Frilay. Frimay. Friqay. Fribay. Friday.

snow gremlins forever


I just think a boob reduction should be an at-home kit.

You’re like, “What is happening is right now.”

I’m not talking about a boob JOB, those should be at the doctor. But if you want to reduce them? Totally an at-home kit.

Okay, maybe not an at-home kit. But it should be as simple as aspirating a cyst, right? Because all they do is stick a needle straight into your boob, and suck the fluid out.

You’re like, “Seriously, why is she opening with this? I just ate.”

There should be a chart in the office. You pick a boob size, they numb the area, stick the needle in, and suck out the fat. Stick a bandaid on, and off you go. Like a perky 17 year old with a skip in her step.

YOU WANT TO HATE THESE WORDS, but you totally know it would be a dream.

Also, I promise the rest of this blog post isn’t nearly as disturbing. (slash brilliant.)

woven placemats forever

Okay so what do you think about leather sofas?

Let me rephrase that, moms of small children and pets – what do you think about leather sofas? Usually, when I think of leather sofas, I imagine frat dudes listening to Dave Mathews Band in Umbro shorts on an oversized black saggy leather couch with cigarette burns and rips in it.

OR, I think of 70-year old men in a library study standing around a dark brown studded leather sofa with curly arm rests and a bunch of dusty books, mallard ducks on shelves, mahogany overload, Cuban cigars and bourbon.

ORRRR I think of any and all 1993 family dens with a giant L-shaped fluffy leather sectional eating up the entire room and smelling like leather toots.

But, you guys I think leather is making a sexy, minimal comeback. And I think I might want one.

Only because we’ve had our creamy oatmeal fabric sofa for 3 years and it is so violently destroyed from small spawn and dirty pet paws. It sags. It’s filthy. And my soul cries.

I’m not ready to take the plunge just yet! Mainly gathering thoughts and opinions in this FOCUS GROUP called you.

Leather sofa?

Or wait another year or two and get another pretty fabric one?

Or have this one re-stuffed and professionally cleaned in the meantime?

Or light a torch now and just sit on all the throw pillows?

Or eat a taco?

wax flowers forever

SEW. I mean SO:

I have a sewing machine progress report.

You know I bought the Happy Stitch last month, and it’s been sitting on my bedroom vanity for weeks now, staring at me with a royal pissed-off glare.

Fiiiinally, two days ago, I (read: Aaron) found a not-so-horrible Youtube tutorial on how to get this sumbia to work. You guys, I’m so pathetic with this machine. I had to pause the video 18 times every second to see EXACTLY what home girl was doing. Pause! Back it up! What was that? Pause it again! Wait, back it up!

It didn’t annoy Aaron at all.

All to say, I got the Upper Threading figured out! I’m capitalizing those words because I’m proud of myself. But it might just need to read – upper threading. Whatever.

BUT GUYS. Lower threading is stupid. I can’t figure that part out. Even when I Pause! Back it up! Pause it again! – I’m not seeing what girl’s doing with her FANGERS. She places that bobby thing in the cave. Then wraps the thread around a gold tooth. MY MACHINE DOES NOT HAVE THAT GOLD TOOTH. The little hooks that look like they’re supposed to anchor the thread aren’t in the same place as hers. And they’re further apart. And way to the left. And nothing hooks. And where’s my wine?

AND THEN, she’ll lower the needle, and somehow it magically grabs that thread in the cave and joins up with the thread above? I’m sorry, what? Mine does not do that.

I need to find the manual.

I almost typed Manuel. I need Manuel to help me. With his manual.

Never mind.

pizza forever

Oh, you know how I had that surprisingly-heated (you guys, not me) debate on my IG Stories about coffee sweeteners? Honey vs. sugar in the raw. Sugar in the raw vs. Stevia. Maple syrup vs. Truvia – all that.

And then I tried Stevia and wanted to light myself on fire.

WELL. I’ve been doing something a little different than my regular drizzle of honey and reduced milk combo. And this is definitely not an ad. It’s just meeee talking to youuuuuu about coffeeeeeee and sweetenerrrrrrr and boob aspiration.

So like, in a mason jar, I put 1 Tbs. collagen peptides powder + 1-2 Tbs. maple syrup + 1 Tbs. Dona Chai concentrate (which was gifted to me forever ago and I’m just now figuring out what to do with it.) + 1/2 cup milk. Maybe more milk. I just fill up the small jar. Put a lid on it, nuke it in the ‘wave for 30 seconds, and shake it up.

Then I pour a small amount into my coffee and use a milk frother (obsessed) to froth it up! And it is GLORIOUS. It’s definitely not overly sweet, and has subtle depth with the Chai flavors. And those tiny bubbles on top my gah.

That’s all I had to say about that.

Goodbye forever.

tulips forever

Weekend plans?

Our best Arkansas pals are coming up for the weekend, but it’s going to be like -500 degrees tomorrow and 27 inches of snow. Waaaaaah. We’ll still have fun. Burgers and pie tonight! Maybe charades tomorrow night. Rosé and a fire and kid hangs and you’re still thinking about the whole boob aspiration thing, aren’t you.


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26 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Simone February 9, 2018 at 7:42 am #
    Threading the bobbin is the ABSOLUTE WORSE. No matter how many times I do it, it's always wrong!
  2. Darcy Sexson February 9, 2018 at 7:47 am #
    We have ALWAYS had leather couches (two kids, two dogs) and will never have anything different. :) SO easy to clean!
  3. Ari February 9, 2018 at 9:25 am #
    My husband had a leather sofa when we moved in together. It was boring and not my favorite, but it was in good shape and newish so we kept it. That thing has survived our two babies, a giant labrador and the nanny share we hosted at our house. It still looks great, but the springs are starting to give and I think we are going to replace it with another leather sofa. It is indestructible.
  4. Anna February 9, 2018 at 9:25 am #
    Leather sofa...don’t do it! We have a fabric sofa with washable covers and a leather chair. Between the kids (why do they always seem to have markers in their hands?), the dog’s nails, and spills that “magically appear”, the sofa looks awesome and the chair looks like shit. It’s always cold in the winter and legs stick to it in the summer. Get a fabric sofa with washable covers and your future self will thank you.
  5. pamela February 9, 2018 at 9:39 am #
    What? You're going to show us that delicious pizza and not talk (write) about it! I picked up our organic grass fed motz chz yesterday to be partially ready for tonight's pizza night... gotta go prep the dough & sauce before school lets out, but your photo is making me want pizza for breakfast! Even though I cannot eat the darn delicious dough, or the cheese or the well, whole thing. Leather couches sound lovely with pets & kids! We purchased neutral, nicely fitting slip covered sofa & two chairs (that spin) Lee Industry about six years ago. They are still going strong & look like new. Pricey at the time, but love love love that the covers come off and have always washed nicely with no fight getting them back onto the furniture & no looking shabby/too loose after cleaning. No steaming after washing required. I could be ready to swap ours for leather too (& transfer our current to the kids study/hang out with friends space), but budget requires other things at the moment so... perhaps save yourself the interim purchase and go for it!
  6. Caitlin February 9, 2018 at 9:39 am #
    I own the Sven from Article (without the chaise) and I LOVE it. It's so comfortable, easy to wipe down when you spill something (because Lord knows it's not just children who have problems balancing a bowl in their lap) and has held up excellently. Can't sing it enough praises, especially for the price.
  7. Jessica February 9, 2018 at 10:10 am #
    I have a leather sofa from Article, but it’s the Worthington (which would probably be better with kids because it’s a darker brown color than the one you linked). It’s great as far as not holding smells, and my small dog climbing all over it. My only issue with article is the modern and flat cushions are not the most comfortable, so next time I might sacrifice aesthetic for more cushy comfort. Sofa shopping is the worst, I swear.
  8. Liz February 9, 2018 at 10:35 am #
    Article is the best. We have one of their leather sofas (we almost did the Sven, but landed with the Oxford because it is recommended for pet homes). Quality is great and it does really stand up to pet hair - stays way cleaner than our previous, non-leather sofa.
  9. Jen February 9, 2018 at 11:26 am #
    West Elm has the Dekalb leather sofa in molasses I’m dying for. It would match your flair, add a twinge of mid-century and envy for all of us still salivating for one. I’ve never had leather but microfiber with my five kids has been an absolute nightmare. My next furniture purchase will be leather.
  10. Jen Renee February 9, 2018 at 11:28 am #
    So we have one of those microfiber leather sofas- looks like soft leather but is actually a soft and stain resistant fabric. It has held up great and been extremely functional with two young kids, and now the new addition of a very big dog! It looks nice and was affordable, but I will say that I only have it because of the mess makers that live in my house. When the kids are older I’ll get something more chic.
  11. Michelle Hedegard February 9, 2018 at 12:40 pm #
    I am in love with leather sofas as well. I think this one is the bomb, but fairly pricey. I love that Article one you linked to:
  12. Laura Lee February 9, 2018 at 1:23 pm #
    We first got a "leather" couch from Bob's discount - he should be burned at the stake! It didn't last a year, I curse Bob!! But we had twins so for a couple years we lived with taped couches, but not duct tape because that's not classy! I went with clear packing tape. Then we used surefit slip covers and once we were past toddlerhood we bought new real leather couches from raymour and flanigan. Not as streamlined as I'd like, but not not a poofy horror from miami vice. It's been a few years and I need to tiuch up the color but otherwise they're holding up well. We aldo don't allow our dog on the furniture so...
  13. Susan February 9, 2018 at 1:48 pm #
    I've always related to the food you make, your sense of humor, your clothing style but what the heck girl? You thin your hair and you want your boobs smaller?!?!? I cannot relate. At. All. About the couch situation. We had cloth when our kids were young and it held up fairly well, until it didn't. We switched to leather and have never looked back. We got a leather couch from Arizona Leather and the recommended cleaning method is to take a damp cloth and wipe it down. Done. Looks brand new even after our little dogs and little granddaughters climb all over it. It wasn't much more than the upholstered piece we also considered.
  14. Nicole February 9, 2018 at 2:23 pm #
    If you get leather whatever you do, DONT.. scrape the kids boogers off with your fingernail. Just a gentle wipe. You know there will be boogers.
  15. Lonna Seger February 9, 2018 at 2:52 pm #
    Go leather all the way...soft and buttery, not that leather like crap or it will be peeling. We have 2 chocolate brown leather buttery soft sofas, raised 3 rambunctious boys and German shepherd dogs...rules must be enforced with those kiddos...dogs are not allowed on the furniture....ours still look beautiful! Would never ever do cloth...ever!
  16. Jean February 9, 2018 at 5:15 pm #
    Leather-gotta admit it really looks so much better in the long run than than anything else but as far as comfort well I'm not sure it may be as comfortable as some other sofas. But if you decide you're in, you've got to go for the good stuff and keep up with the leather lotioning as it really helps keep it in good condition. Also make sure the sun doesn't hit it or it will definitely fade. As far as spills get a good cleaner and use it right away for oil based spills, but other spills usually just clean up right away with water amazingly. Pet claws can leaves marks so just be wary of that. I'm not trying to dissuade you, just give you my honest opinion. I've had my leather furniture for 35 years and it's held up amazingly well. I can't imagine any other furniture lasting that long. But I do take care of it. Nothing looks as timelessly in fashion as leather as far I'm concerned.
  17. Jo February 10, 2018 at 7:18 am #
    I got mine at HOM years ago. It still looks brand new. I can't imagine anything easier to keep clean with kids and pets in the house. I love mine and the bonus is in the summer the sofa is cool. I will always have some leather furniture.
  18. Cindy February 10, 2018 at 8:09 am #
    Glad you posted Peptides link. I hear great things about that brand and you can also add to smoothies ( what I'm going to do.)
  19. Molly February 10, 2018 at 9:44 am #
    Leather all the way. Have had for 10+ years and it has survived 3 kids and lots of dogs. So easy to clean.
  20. Stephanie Agne February 10, 2018 at 8:36 pm #
    Bev! I have that exact sofa! Let me know if you want to come sit on it to try 😊 We love.
    • Bev Weidner February 11, 2018 at 7:54 am #
      No way!! Ever since our convo I can't get this idea out of my head. Ha!
  21. Joy February 11, 2018 at 3:10 pm #
    We recently donated our L-shaped leather couch because it was getting tears in the fabric from our dog's nails. I wanted something that could hold a machine washable cover (no one makes covers for L-shaped couches) and wouldn't tear if our dog used it as his bed at night.
  22. Stefanie February 12, 2018 at 3:04 pm #
    a friend of mine just bought a new house, and the first thing she bought for it was that article sofa, that exact color. she loves it, I love it, and you are way on trend for loving it too because this friend of mine is a kickA** interior decorator. hope your weekend was great!
    • Bev Weidner February 12, 2018 at 4:15 pm #
      Oh you're kidding! We're reaaaaaally leaning toward that one. Eeee!
  23. Nada February 12, 2018 at 5:23 pm #
    Hey Bev, you can come out, sit on my leather sofa and let the twins chase my chickens while my 11 year old and I teach you to sew. Or you could join our 4 H sewing group. 😉
  24. Emily aka The Three Bite Rule February 15, 2018 at 10:18 am #
    Leather is so great to look at....or in certain climates. It is cold and slippery in the winter, and sweaty and not breathable in the summer. I love them in rooms that aren't used 100% of the time!

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