Prosciutto-Wrapped Barbeque Jalapeno Poppers. And a Farm Party.

I almost titled this post “Been Farming Long?” because I figured I’m long overdue for a good face punching.

Farm Party

But plastic surgeons are crazy expensive these days, and I need to wash my hair later, so . . .

We went to a farm party!

Farm Party

At this dude’s house. Instead of asking if he needed help, I was like, “Hey will you hold my wine so I can take a picture of you? I can’t hold my phone and my glass at the same time, ya know!” I’m the sweetest.

Farm Party

Our super awesome friends own this quaint, cozy farm right outside of town, and every fall they host an annual chili party. It’s a lot of fun. Except they have bees and I’m scared. But they do have chickens! Which I’m only slightly nervous around. And they have a pond! Which I’m only semi-panicked about. But they have a corn field! Which I’m only a little bit petrified of.

My therapist says I’m making great progress in life.

Farm Party

It was a PERFECT day. High of 60ish. A warm sun. A chilly breeze. A crackling campfire. A half mile of fire logs. An old John Deere. Two babies following the Dow Jones Industrial average on Aaron’s phone. Beautiful day.

Farm Party

I made some prosciutto-wrapped BBQ jalapeno poppers for the party. They were gone .2394723 seconds after I set the plate down. But we’ll get to that in a bit. For now? Farm photos!

Farm Party

I can’t remember if this was before or after Natalie decided to become a famous acrobat artist and do a front-flip tumble off the bottom step and onto the ground. We had no idea she has such talent! One fluid motion, graceful, yet in a magical flash. The only thing that completely ruined her flawless performance was the whole bursting into tears at the end. I’m also guessing the judges would deduct points for landing on her head. I’m going to have a serious talk with her about this for later productions. We’ll get there, you guys. We’ll get there.

Farm Party

Look at these adorable tiny white houses with fire logs stacked next to them. They remind me of the song in Oklahoma between Ado Annie and Will. She sings to him, “Would you build me a house, all painted white, cute and clean and purty and bright.” And then Will sings, “Big enough fer two but not fer threeeee.” And then Ado Annie, “S’posin’ that we should have a third one.” Will, “He better look a lot like me.” Ado Annie, “Yer spittin’ image!” Will, “He better look a lot like meeeeee.” Aaron always changes the lyrics to, “You cheating whoooooore.”

That’s exactly what these houses remind me of.

Farm Party

Even after her 60-foot fall to the hard, rocky Earth, she’s a happy little baby earthworm puppy clam!

Farm Party

This was the babies’ first time eating chili. Like, full-on spoonfuls of meat, beans, tomatoes, WHAT HAVE YOU. They loved it! They ate all of mine, as a matter of fact. I went home starving. Little turds.

Farm Party

Let’s go inside for a bit, shall we? I need to refill my wine.

This is their incredible farm kitchen, complete with jars of dried goods, pastas, eggceteruh, eggceteruh, eggtereruh.

Farm Party

This is where you please serve yourself. I did. Oh, I did.

Farm Party

2938572414 gallons of chili!

You guys, I’m totally kidding.

It was 2938572415 gallons.

Farm Party

I tried to steal that yellow metal bin, but the cops came and threw me into the back of their car and I cried. So they let me go.

Farm Party

Then I tried to steal that airstream. But it was hard because I still had the handcuffs on from my previous felony.

Farm Party

I love farms. They’re the only place where junk is cool, hip art. I didn’t try stealing these window frames because the cuffs had broken through my skin and I was bleeding profusely.

Farm parties are dangerous.

Farm Party

Here are the chickens that I came a tad bit too close to. I was pretending to be totally cool with nature and animals because I had Natalie in my arms, so we walked closer and closer, then one of them bok’d and I almost barfed.

Farm Party

I swear we’re getting to the recipe, but would you just look at all that firewood!? WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE. IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLD’S BEEN TURNING.

Farm Party

I Instagrammed this photo, but I just have to show you here. She seriously looks like she’s smoking a pipe, right?

Wait, is she?

Farm Party

And then this. And now I want 972356205682 more babies.

Farm Party

I spy a metal trashcan. Do you?

Farm Party

We watch so many murdery/forensic/crime shows, all I can think about is walking down that long beautiful grass path and finding a dead body. WHATISWRONGWITHME.

Farm Party

There’s nothing sweeter than a darling baby boy in a fuzzy ear hat trying to crawl into an open flame, is there?

Farm Party

TU.CK.ER.ED. OU.T.

After the heads got heavy, we headed home.

I’d also like to point out that Aaron does not have a d-bag mustache, although in every single ding dang photo I post of him, it looks like he’s sporting the worst decision ever.

Farm Party

You know how I lurve the tree photos.

Now, for the poppers! You’re like, OMGFINALLY.

Prosciutto-Wrapped BBQ Jalapeno Poppers

We had a tooon of jalapenos in our garden, but they’re on the small side, so keep in mind that the kind you find in the store will probably be a little bigger. But it’s okay. You’re still a good person.

Take 15-20 jalapeno peppers, slice the stems off and cut them in half, lengthwise. Scrape out all the ribs and seeds. Stir the seeds into your baby’s bottle for a nice surprise. (oh my gosh I’m mostly kidding)

In a bowl, add half a block of softened cream cheese. Pour 2-3 Tbs. of your fave BBQ sauce in and stir stir stir. Start with 2 Tbs. Or even 1! It’s all up to your taste buds.

Then take 6-8 slices of prosciutto and stack them. Slice them lengthwise into 1/2-inch strips.

Spoon the cream cheese mix into a little plastic baggie and slice the tiniest hole in one of the corners. Then squeeze the cheese into each pepper half. Wrap a prosciutto slice around each pepper and place on a baking sheet.

Slide them all into a 400 degree oven for 10 minutes. Turn the pan and bake another 10, or until the prosciutto is nice and crispy and the peppers have softened.

Prosciutto-Wrapped BBQ Jalapeno Poppers

Hi, mama. Eat up.

Prosciutto-Wrapped BBQ Jalapeno Poppers

And there we have it! A farm, poppers, chickens, a chicken, tumbling artist baby, chili hoarders, hypercolor s’mores, airstreams, window frames, metal bins, cops, handcuffs, and the open land.

Farm Party

Oh, and probably a dead body like, fifty feet over that little hill.

The end.

 

 

 

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25 Responses to Prosciutto-Wrapped Barbeque Jalapeno Poppers. And a Farm Party.

  1. Braddock October 15, 2014 at 8:50 pm #
    I just read this entire post to my husband with the preface, "This is the funniest post by my friend Bev so far! You have to hear this!" I'm now certain he's sure I'm certifiable. Go Royals!
  2. Averie @ Averie Cooks October 15, 2014 at 8:56 pm #
    Amazing post, day, story-telling, the whole thing...LOVED! Best of all was the tuckered out kids part for you, right? Maybe you got like 20 mins of peace when you got home!
  3. Elissa October 15, 2014 at 9:12 pm #
    I laughed so hard about the yellow basket stealing and the dead bodies! Thank you!! :)
  4. Ashley @ My Midwest Table October 15, 2014 at 9:34 pm #
    Farms are the best. Chili is the best. Baby smiles are the best. And these poppers have got to be the best. Looks like you had a really memorable time. And yeah. I'd have my eyes on that yellow basket too! :)
  5. Melissa @ Treats With a Twist October 15, 2014 at 10:28 pm #
    1. that house is SO cute! I wish I had the swagger to pull off having a chili cookout day at my house and everyone just knows and they come and chill. We'll work on that. 2. babies all tuckered out makes me want to have eleventymillion babies. gah so cute!!
  6. Stephanie @ Eat. Drink. Love. October 16, 2014 at 12:29 am #
    I love all of these photos! And the babies! Oh, oh, and the poppers too!!!
  7. movita beaucoup October 16, 2014 at 6:42 am #
    I can't wait to see this place on 48 Hours Real Life Mysteries.
  8. Marija October 16, 2014 at 7:50 am #
    OMG, I love your posts! You're hillarious and you should definitely have gazillion babies. I just love how Nat is always smiling <3
  9. Morgan S. October 16, 2014 at 7:59 am #
    Best pictures. I dream of living in a cute little house on a SMALL farm. Did this make you want to live on a farm? Or are you still scarred from all of the bleeding/dead body images? The babies are perfect!
  10. Erin @ The Spiffy Cookie October 16, 2014 at 8:48 am #
    Love that place, so cute. And all the baby photos. And those poppers!
  11. Julia October 16, 2014 at 9:18 am #
    Your posts just crack me up! I saw that photo on instagram and was dying laughing. So cute and I love everything about this farm and all of the cool stuff (especially those frames!).
  12. Laura (Blogging Over Thyme) October 16, 2014 at 11:11 am #
    Laughed during the whole post. I want to steal that serve yourself sign!
  13. AmyRuth October 16, 2014 at 11:16 am #
    Oh my... let me give you my phone number so I can show up the next time.... Take me away !!! What blissful day at least the pictures were quiet. Natalie is such a camera bug and I don't know what species that would be but certainly that must be decided soon. Wonderful photos and thanks to the "guy" who held your wine. Such a service to us all. Thanks for sharing.
  14. angela October 16, 2014 at 1:31 pm #
    where did you buy the fuzzy ear hat ? its so adorable on him.
  15. Nicki October 16, 2014 at 2:21 pm #
    You slay me! Love all of this. (Especially the BEBES, duh.) And obviously all those creepy farm landscape/path pics look straight out of True Detective. Heebie jeebies FO SHO.
  16. allison October 16, 2014 at 2:21 pm #
    I just got home from an amazing, spontaneous west coast roadtrip and every sketch motel we passed, my sister and I would shudder and mouth "murder motel", keep driving, and whip out the trivago and hotel tonight apps to find a room that had never been a crime scene. And we're stepping back from the criminal minds marathons.....
  17. Julie October 16, 2014 at 3:42 pm #
    OMG I wanna eat your babies up! WAY too cute!
  18. Tanah October 16, 2014 at 5:13 pm #
    I laughed the whole time i was reading this! You're pictures are gorgeous and the babies are adorable!!
  19. Amber @ Slim Pickin's Kitchen October 17, 2014 at 7:26 am #
    Bwahahahahaaaa!!! This whole post was hysterical, but the bits about the chicken boking & Aaron's mysteriously appearing pornstache about made me wet my pants!
  20. Brian @ A Thought For Food October 17, 2014 at 4:01 pm #
    That dude put on a mighty nice face while he had to hold your wine glass! I would have give you a hard time. :-)
  21. Rachel - De Ma Cuisine October 24, 2014 at 3:36 pm #
    You make me giggle. Especially about the chicken boking making you almost barf. And the mustache. And then the seeds in the bottle. Oh, Bev. Please invite me next year. (Not weird at all, right? JK. I'll just move in with you. Weirder? Sorrynotsorry.)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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