It was January 6th, the coldest day ever. Ever in the history of the world and ever loving everness. I was 37 weeks and one day pregnant with a boy and a girl (ninja?) inside my cranktankerous belly. I was swollen. I was crampy. I was contractiony. I was anti-bacterial-y. I had makeup on! But […]
It’s the FIEEENNAAAAL COUNTDOOOOWWWWNNNNAAAAHH. Can you believe we’re at 34 weeks and one day. How? HOW? Which coincidentally rhymes with cow. COW. Funny how that works. At this point in the game, there’s just not that much to say. Ohhhh don’t get too excited. I still plan on draping you with mental armpit fart […]
It’s done! Allllll done! Now we just need two babies to stick in here. But not for another 5 or 6 six weeks. Hear that, babies? Keep baking. Or broiling? Whatever’s going on during these last few weeks. Of course I have the most obnoxious amount of photos for ONE TINY ROOM. But I can’t […]
28.4 weeks in, muthuuuuuz. MAN is this a total trip. An uncomfortable, gassy, heifer heavy, ribcage rampage, urination station of a trip. But first, could we talk about how J.C. Penny my expression is in this photo? I don’t usually look so wide-eyed, GOLLY-GOSH-IT’S-SUCH-A-SWELL-DAY, MATEY. Or maybe I do. Maybe it’s the new me? THE […]
Happy Halloween! Let’s . . . look at some belly photos? I didn’t plan to post these on Halloween, but it’s just as well as I didn’t make anything ghoulish or goblinish. Actually, if I stand in the kitchen for too long these days *I* become a hairy, hunchback, snaggletoothed goblin myself. So showing you […]
I’ve been meaning to post about my KC baby shower since 1974, but with my lame computer in and out and in and out of the hospital, I was terrified the photos were going to disappear into the abyss-o-sphere and I’d never see them again. But we’re all good! And now I can show you! […]
Can you believe I’m nearing the end of my second trimester? I’m not even going to pretend that I know which week marks the actual transition, because when I looked online one site said 25 weeks and another said 28 weeks and another said 26 weeks and another said 26.68 and another said GET OUT […]
Bebe sherrrrrrrr numero oooone! Talk about being in the spotlight. I was so nervous. I got all sweaty. I got all rambly. I think I said the word nipple like 15 times and that’s why people started to leave? We’ll never know. This SHOWER, ugh. It was perfect. It was adorable, beautiful, lovely, fun, darling, […]
Well, hi. Would you believe another four weeks have passed in this pilgrimage de preggoville? I’m right at the halfway mark, and I can proudly say with complete poise and confidence, “waaaaaaaaaaaaah.” It’s actually been a fantastic four weeks! I’ve never felt more incredible. I’ve got energy. I’ve got sass. I’ve got rhythm. I’ve got […]
I say edition 1 because I like the idea of terrifying you silly that there’s a chance of 19 hundred and 87 billion more editions to come by January. Be afraid. Be very afraid. So, I’ve been doing this whole pregotron thing for 15 weeks and 3 days. And I have to say, this shiz […]
