WHY IS IT SO HOT OUTSIDEEEE. Sorry to scream. Please tell me Kansas City’s not the only town sitting on the face of the SUN. It is crazy brutal right now. Heat indexes of five thousand. Humidity of 3 billion percent. Ozone layer on the verge on quitting its job it’s so pissed off. It […]
The dog days aren’t overrrrrr, the dog days aren’t done. The horses ain’t even coming, so you don’t have to run! Do you see what I did there? I changed the lyrics because we’re still in the dog days. The dog days of summer. They’re not over yet. And I’m betting Florence and her Machine […]
Twas the night before Thanksgiving when all through the mouths Salivation began pooling, eager to fill up the south. The turkey was brining in the fridge with care. In hopes that all family members, weirdos included, soon would be there. The stomach was nestled all snug in its space. Getting rest for what was about […]
I just learned something right this second and I need to come clean about my wrong doings. My world is shattered. My heart, torn. My brain is fuzzy. My soul, worn. Just get to it? Okay. So you know how these little Vietnamese noodle salads are called “bun”? Yeah. Well I was locked. and. loaded. […]
“Would you like some flavored water Miss?” asked the tall, blonde Sienna Miller look-alike at the hair salon the other day. Flavored water, how trendy, I thought. “Um, sure. What do you have?” “Cucumber, watermelon and lime!” she chirped. I went with cucumber. Within 20 seconds she returned with a tall, slender, dewy glass of…cucumber […]
