Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRahduh!

Have you ever stripped your laundry?

STRIPPED your laundry. That is what I typed just now. Have you ever stripped your laundry?

It’s very different from just doing laundry. I had no idea. My friend Sarah stripped her sheets last week in her bathtub and all this grime came out, man. And that’s after she did laundry! These are the CLEAN sheets! I’m dying to try it obviously because I’m attracted to gross.

You need Borax (not to confused with Borat) and washing soda (not baking), which coincidentally I have both under the sink. I’m totally trying this. I’ve got these pretty natural dish towels that used to be this luscious creamy oatmeal color. I shot recipes with them all the time until one day I realized how grody they’ve become. They no longer look like cream and now resemble the heel of a 34-old gym sock. I’m gonna strip those mothers!

Do you do this? Do you strip your laundry? Not to be confused with “do you strip on your laundry.” I’m fine not knowing that.

I’m starting to tack on about 20 minutes to my grocery store time because it takes me that long to open the ends of the little green delicate herb baggies. You know, the ones that hang above the produce and you pull it from the thingy and pry open the perforated ends? IT TAKES ME FORTY FIVE YEARS. With non-cold fingers! And don’t @ me about bringing my own produce bags. I do bring my own grocery bags. (my Minnesota friend Trisha says begs. her grocery begs.)

LISTEN, oh. Okay. So this just changed direction on me. And you. Since you’re going to rip me a new one, why don’t you just tell me what great reusable produce bags (begs) there are. Ones for herbs, broccoli, beets, romaine, that kind. You do know the ones at TJ’s are biodegradable, right? And have you ever noticed how SOFT they are? It’s outrageous. I could rub them on my face and live a beautiful life.

But if you have any good produce bag (beg) suggestions, (not gonna say “help a sister out” – ew) I’ll take them because I cannot add 45 minutes to my grocery store runs. I already have to wash my hair, so.

Wait, would “help a sister out” be considered CHEUGY? I’ve been trying to understand this word all week and I think it just clicked. I know it’s being “off trend” – sure. But honestly has “help a sister out” ever been cool to say? No. It has not. So it might just mean all the things you thought were cool aren’t. Because signs that say “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!” are just cheesy. I think they’re misspelling cheesy with cheugy.

Right?

Never mind.

So listen to what Aaron and I are going to do next Friday.

OH BY THE WAY, he’s never seen The Royal Tenenbaums. Can you believe that? Never! He’s never seen it! What world is this?!

So yeah, next Friday we’re going to go on a full-blown mission for the best STREET TACOS in Kansas City. The very best, most authentic street tacos. KCers, do you have your favorites? I personally love Ricos Tacos Lupe (he’s never been! never!), but I want to try three different places back to back so that I can really compare and judge. I’m even willing to dip into KC, KANSAS because I feel like the true gems might be hidden over there. And of course I’ll take you with me and show off these spots, duh.

And then we’ll come home, full-taco-bloated-bellied and watch The Royal Tenenbaums. That’s where I was going with that. You thought it was just random but you see I had plans all along. As my mom always said, “There’s a method to my madness!” with one crazy eye a little off kilter.

Mother’s Day weekend plans?

I’m getting my pot filler installed this morning! If all goes well, I’ll show you once it’s in. If all doesn’t, I’ll cry in a corner until I’m 75.

We’ll do our usual – a stroll around the village shops, a cappuccino and a piece of cheese (I’ll show you what I get this week!), a plant, some flowers, back to French Market for live music later in the afternoon, some white wine, some reading, maybe a run. The temperature drops on Sunday (of course) and it rains all day (of course) but I’m keeping a cozy attitude and going to attempt to roll with it.

Tell me what you’re cooking for Mother’s Day! And happy Mother’s Day. (And if you’re in the “hopeful mom camp” – I see you. I remember those feelings so vividly and painfully and I ache with you. Kick your feet up and go easy on yourself this weekend.)

Okay, produce grocery BEGS and taco huts – HIT ME. (wait, is “hit me” cheugy? great.)