FRA LA LA LA LAAAAAA DAY DA Y DAY DAY. Okay, remember how obsessed I got with my mini horse pube broom eyebrows a while back? You’re like, “no but thanks for that lovely image.” WELL, I ended up going to Ulta (wait, Ultra? Ulta. Ulba? Ulla? Uvula?) and had an eyebrow specialist go bonkers […]
Archive | Friday Flotsam
Friday Flotsam
FRID-EEEEEEEEY. FRID-HEEEEEEY. FRID-HAAAAAAY. friday. Do you think those ear wax candle thingies are a myth? A legend? A hoax? A ripoff? Because, you guys. I cannot hear anymore. My hearing is gone. All gone. Wiped away forever. Between my kids constantly screaming down my eardrums, my dog barking at the mailman and any other speck […]
Friday Flotsam
fFfFFFFrRrRRRRiIiIIIIdDdDDDDaAaAAAAyYyYYYY. (<-can you find the code?) Omg. OMG. o.m.g. Did you guys ever watch The Jinx? I know, I know – I’m super late to the party. We finally watched it this week. Finished last night. My jaw is still nowhere near my face and it’s starting to look weird. (also, I promise no spoilers […]
Friday Flotsam
FRILLY DILLY DAY-Y DOO. You know how in your Gmail, when you order something from most online stores, it has that little “Track Package” button in the SUBJECT LINE of the email? And you can just click that handy highway and it takes you directly to UPS or Fedex or Snails ‘R Us or whatever? […]
Friday Flotsam
Fu-REE DEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Can we please talk about Peppa Pig for like half a second? And no more? Because I want to die? WHAT IS WITH THIS SHOW. A) I have maj issues with it. Sure sure. It’s adorable and whatever. Kids love it. My kids love it. They giggle. The pigs giggle. They learn. Everyone’s […]
Friday Flotsam
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFriday. Do your hands ever forget what they’re supposed to do? You know like, muscle memory? Actually, not that. But more like, they just straight forget the order of movemental motions. Okay wait. What I mean, specifically, is when you’re either rubbing eye makeup remover on your face, or applying moisturizer. You know how your […]
Friday Flotsam
fffffffffff R I D A yyyyyyyyyyy. Why are hard boiled eggs so stupid? Let me rephrase that: why is peeling hard boiled eggs so stupid? Hold on, one more go at this: why is it so hard and stupid for me to peel stupid hard boiled eggs with my stupid fingers and hands? I have […]
Friday Flotsam
FFFridaYYY. Okay, so I snapped about this ^^^ flower yesterday. And of course I asked you what it was, because it had slipped Aaron’s mind and I was too lazy to use Dr. Goog. Well, as soon as I walked back in house, I looked it up. (I’m great at timing.) (Also, ignore the weeds. […]
Friday Flotsam
F A R I D A Y E E E . I had this crazy dream just now. I was in a car wreck! Not a horrible one, but not a tiny fender bender, either. It was a chain wreck, like the kind you see on the local news from a helicopter, where a dude […]
Friday Flotsam
FRIEE DAYEEEE. AAAAeeeeee EEEEEEaaaaaa. I don’t like Chardonnays. WHAT.SHE DOESN’T.I don’t. YOU DON’T. I don’t. WHY NOT. WHAT. HOW. HOW ARE WE FRIENDS. I don’t know. I just don’t. YOU DON’T. No. NOOOO. HOW. HOW. I just never have. WHAT. I CAN’T. Yes you can. I CANNOT. I CAN’T SEE. MY EYEEEES – Listen. I […]