Balemtime’s Bay! (please don’t x out.)
Did you forget about today? It’s not like it’s a REAL holiday. So it’s totally fine if you did. No one’s mad. (actually don’t quote me on that.)
But! If you’re having a mini coronary collapse because you forgot all about dinner tonight – then just imagine me sweeping in and breaking a giant window in a cream and gold superhero costume. With a mother-in-law’s tongue leaf! That’s my sword. It works in my head, leave me alone.
This is pretty much chicken piccata, but scallops in place of the chicken. And a flat pasta in place of linguine. And maybe my belt is vintage brass.
Also, I’m just now noticing how I left off the word and arrow leading to parmesan. WHOOPSIE. Wait, are you breaking up with me?
Suuuuuper simple! You’ll pick up some scallops on your lunch hour today. After work, pat them down hard core with a paper towel. Open a sauvignon blanc and let it breathe.
You know what, forget the breathing nonsense and go ahead and pour a glass. You need to make sure it’s adequately matched for this meal, right? Quality control.
Season the scallops with salt, and then sear them in a HOT pan with melted butter. Get that sear, bae!
BAY. Hahahahah! Bay. Get it? Bay scallo- right.
While the scallops rest, you’ll pour another glass of wine, because that last one went down like water.
Throw some lemon slices in those scallopy/buttery remnants. Let them get a little caramelized in the pan while you sing along to Mariah Carey’s Vision of Love and pretend you can still hit those high notes like you could in high school. Wait, where’s that wine.
You’ve boiled some pasta. You’ve also made a sauce with chicken stock and capers and one more pat of butter. And parsley! You’re probably low on wine, so maybe top it off?
Transfer the cooked pasta to the sauce, turn the heat off and add some parmesan. Let it all marry up for five minutes. Because right now it’s going to be on the soupy side. And I don’t want you cranky at me. Let it soak!
Then nestle the scallops on top and I’VE REALIZED A DREAAAAAAAAAAAM, AND I VISUALIZED THE LOVE CAME TO BEEEEEE.
Sorry but, are you seeing that? Your wine is on the counter behind you, by the way. Just open that second bottle, already. It’s fine.
You’re fine.
FEEL SO ALIVE, I’M SO THANKFUL THAT I’VE RECEIVED.
THE ANSWER THAT HEAVEN HAS SENT.DOWN.TO.ME.
Dust with more parm.
Be okay with this whole thing, it’s who you are.
YA TREATED ME KIIIIIIIIIND.
SWEET DESTINYYYYY.
I’ll see myself out.
Ingredients
- 1 pound flat pasta (any long noodle will do!)
- 9 large scallops, pat dry
- 4 Tbs. butter
- 2 cups chicken stock
- 1/3 cup freshly grated parmesan, plus more for garnish
- 2 Tbs. capers
- 1 lemon, cut into slices
- A handful of chopped parsley
- coarse salt
Instructions
- Bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Cook the pasta until it reaches just shy of al dente.
- In the meantime, melt 2 Tbs. butter in a wide sauté pan. Season the scallops with salt and sear them on high for a minute and half, long enough to get a good sear. Flip and sear another 45 seconds or so. You don’t want to cook the scallops all the way through, after that good money you spent on them. Just enough to sear both sides, and the scallop remain creamy and almost rare in the center. Move them out of the pan to rest.
- Back in the skillet, add the lemon slices. Let them soften and brown, flipping every minute or so, just long enough for them to darken and caramelize. Tong them out and place with the scallops.
- Now to the pan, add the capers. If you need to scrape up the browned bits on the pan, do it! That’s so much flavor, you guys. Leave it all in there. Then add the stock and let it simmer just a minute or two. Add a pinch of salt.
- When the pasta reaches just shy of al dente, transfer it to the pan and let it start to absorb the sauce. Turn off the the heat and add the chopped parsley, remaining butter, and parmesan. Cover and let the pasta sit about five minutes. Give it another toss and taste. Need anything? Another pinch of salt? Yup.
- Nestle the scallops and lemon slices on top of the dish, and serve it up! A grassy sauvignon blanc is PERFECT with this.
- Serves four.
Mariah Carey sold separately. *hiccup
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