Friday Flotsam

FROODOOOOOOO-y.

So, lately I’ve noticed this weird clicking in my neck spine when I run. CLICKING. Every step: click, click, click. I’d honestly be more freaked out about this clicking if I hadn’t noticed it before when I was much younger. I distinctly remember sitting in 11th grade English, Mrs. Whitman’s class, as it was stiflingly quiet in there. Nothing but the sound of young minds absorbing vast knowledge, aaaaand my neck spine clicking like a dang grandfather clock. It doesn’t click on its own, just when I move my head from side to side. I remember almost passing out when I first noticed it. Like, WHAT IS THAT CLICKING IN MY NECK SPINE. Is this normal? Is my head about to SNAP OFF and roll down the classroom aisle? Am I about to become the headless English woman student of Hobbs, New Mexico? Bringing haunted messages to all the students of the land?

So then I forgot all about it. The clicking. For years.

Until this week.

Click, click, click. OMG there it is! With every single stride: click, click, CLICK.

How does one forget about neck spine clicking? Does this happen to you? Does your neck click when you move it left to right? Try it real quick. Any clicking? Don’t even make me look this up on the WEB MD. I’ll be ruined for life.

What I really need to know is, how often do you paint your toenails?

Look how incredibly brilliant my son is, creating this masterpiece on his own! Just kidding, I drew this. It’s like, the one character I can draw. I can draw her hair and eyes a little different from time to time, but she’s basically the same person. I call her Glynda. But with a y.

Oh this reminds me! I did write a little thangy thang for What to Expect on summer activities for toddlers. We’ve done all of these ideas, multiple times, yet I’m on the verge of completely losing my mind. I’m telling you, we could be outside for hours if it weren’t for those #$@%$ mosquitoes! I HATE MOSQUITOES. Remind me of their purpose in life again? What exactly do they do that’s helpful to this planet? Why do they exist?

We’re thinking about buying one of those cylindrical fluorescent electrocuting zapper things, ha ha ha ha! Not only to zap bugs with it, but obviously to be super ’90s. Those things were everywhere in the ’90s! I miss the ’90s.

’90s ’90s ’90s.

Okaaaaaaay, Wet Hot American Summer lovahs, have you watched the Netflix series yet? (no spoilers ahead!) It’s been out a week already so I’m suuure you’ve watched it at least thrice. What did you think? Are you completely obsessed? Was it not so great? It was so great. So funny. So insane. So weird. So genius. So perfect.

I really liked the show, if I didn’t make that clear.

Tell me your favorite parts! I need someone to dork quote with.

So a couple of days ago I had to go to Macy’s to get my mom some socks that she can’t buy IN HER OWN TOWN. (Just kidding, Ma.) They’re these tiny, hose-like nude socks that barely cover your feet, and have a little rubber thingy on the heel, to keep them from slipping. That rubber thingy on the heel was the entire reason for the trip. “Don’t get them if they don’t have the rubber heel! I can get those here!” she texted. Multiple times.

I sent her a few photos of the socks to pick from (all having the rubber thingy on the heel, you guys!), and as I waited for her response, I pushed the stroller up and down the cramped aisles, in an effort to keep Will from turning into a demon-possessed alien murderer. In this attempt, I accidentally rammed the stroller into a tall rack of socks. CLANK, as multiple pairs of socks fell to the thin, department store carpet. I quickly looked around to scan for witnesses, picked up the socks from the floor, and delivered an overly cheesy, “WELL THIS STROLLER JUST KNOCKS YOUR SOCKS OFF.”

No one heard.

The end.

Weekend plans? Nawt march ‘roun her. Aaron has a lot of commissioned work (thanks to you guyzzzzz!) for his shop, Flotsamist. I think I’ll lie around and ponder toenail color options, neck spine clicking and bug electric chair options while I listen to my NEW MIX. (did you listen yet? yewwwww better.)

Go get yo’ weekend.