Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRRumidydumday!

I (finally) watched the Friends Reunion special last night and I LOVED IT. LOOOOOOOOVED IT. l.o.v.e.d.i.t.

It was just lovely. I watched it over at my friends’ Seth and Ashlee’s house because they have HBO Max and we don’t. It’s like that friend in the late ’80s who had MTV and your parents didn’t have it because church, but you always snuck (sneaked?) it in at your party friend’s house on Friday nights right after Pizza Hut and Jon Bon Jovi on the jukebox.

You guys we laughed so hard to the point of wiping away actual tears from all three of our faces. To see them all walk onto the set 17 years later and embrace each other and point out where script lines used to be hidden or who took what from the set or reminisce over this moment or that moment – gah! Could barely handle the nostalgia. And you know I’m governed by all things nostalgic so this was tender for me to get through.

Everyone’s aged, of course. (and don’t you dare knock Botox because you know I was all over that pre-bangs.) But I thought Lisa Kudrow looked stunning. Appropriately aged, elegant, still effortlessly hilarious and gentle. (and she’s right, Lady Gaga didn’t do Smelly Cat any favors at all. And that’s me being nice.) Also, my friend Trisha told me that Matthew Perry apparently had to have emergency dental work RIGHT before the taping, so that’s why his teeth looked like Ross’s in the one where he gets his teeth bleached and is under all that black light. Now we know!

What I loved most though, was when the cast was sitting around the round table reading old scripts, and how it would cut to the original show in those exact moments all those years ago. The back and forth from then to now straight up RUINED ME. They weaved it perfectly! And the cast still sounded exactly the same! Just marvelous.

I did miss Paul Rudd. It was fun seeing Gunther. Loved Janis’s cameo. Justin Bieber confused me. David Schwimmer gave me major Aaron vibes. “You’re name’s Courteney, right?” The between-the-cuts of David Schwimmer laughing at himself saying “PIVOOOOT” had me in stitches. I’ll not mention Courteney’s lips. The trivia was hysterical and perfect. I DID notice how they edited the trailer differently when the cast was asked if Ross and Rachel were on a break. In the TRAILER Joey cough/whipsers into his mug, “bullsh*t.” But that response is to something completely different! To the on-a-break question he shrugs and joins in everyone’s collective agreement, “Myeah.” But I’m weird and notice things like that. And announce it to everyone in a five-mile radius.

LOVED IT. Did you watch it? What did you think?

You guys, talk me out of these pillow slides.

THEY’RE HIDEOUS! The actual grossest things I’ve ever seen on anyone’s feet, yet I can’t stop thinking about what they must feel like to wear. I know you’re shocked that I’m even entertaining these. Look, I am, too. They’re awful! But I’ve been on the hunt for some rubbery slides for a while, and these keep popping up and I’m like STOP. IT. except hold on show me more. Something is chemically off with me.

They’re platformy (ew) and hugely foamy (grody) and sort of space age looking (no) but WHAT IF THEY’RE MAGIC?

Please, talk me out of this before I start researching orthopedic wear and curling my hair under at the ends.

Also, I’ve decided I need dahlias in my life. LOTS and lots of dahlias. Creamy, romantic, blush tones of pinks and peaches and off whites. And not the spiky ones, but the luscious round flowers that feel like a Jane Austen novel. I need those. They’re bulbs, right? I can’t just buy already-sprouted dahlias? I’ll look into this, I don’t want to trouble you. My goal this weekend to somehow locate and purchase a dahlia or 40.

Did you guys get that nifty Amazon reading guide in the mail this week? I’ve never seen it before, but it was pretty amazing! They interviewed Kristin Hannah and Elin Hilderbrand of course. They had the coziest lists of summer books, which a lot are already on my list! Aaron think it’s tailored to what *I* have purchased, though. He thinks everyone probably got different guides. Do you think that’s true? Is the world really that weird? I’m looking at PILLOW SLIDES so clearly I’m at a level of helplessness that can’t be touched.

The reason I ask is because there’s a photo in the very back of a woman in her dahlia garden with the sunset behind her as she holds up an illegally beautiful bouquet of fresh-cut dahlias. It is perfection and I want to live in her garden and be her with her slicked-back blonde bun. You never know, she might be wearing pillow slides.

Okay, we’ve had a heated (sort of) debate in my Stories this week about bath towels. All of my bath/hand/wash towels are complete crap and I need new ones. But I don’t want to spend 35 billion dollars. You all sent SO MANY suggestions, and the opinions are wildly all over the place. Which is semi great but also not helpful at all. Ha!

Long story long, I ended up going the clearance sale route on Bird Bath and Beyonce and I’ll most likely regret it forever. But LISTEN, I spent $46 TOTAL (T O T A L) and got six bath, six hand and six wash. They get here today so obviously I’m equal parts giddy and bracing for garbage. It’s this brand. I’ll keep you posted on the fragile state of my satisfaction later today. POLL: do you guys immediately wash your brand new towels before the first wash? Or use them right off? I want to do the right thing in my life but my patience is that of a hummingbird cast in Trainspotting.

Also I shocked the world this week with my admission of loathing Costco. It’s true. I cannot with Costco. It smells like a rotting armpit, the lighting is horrid, the shopping carts shock me as if I’m touching an outlet with wet hands, and it’s all just so monstrously huge. But if they sell those pillow slides will you let me know?

Weekend plans?

We got n o t h i n g ! (Mom, I know it’s technically “we’ve got” but this is called sass.)

We’re hitting the pool today, gonna manicure some garden areas (I want our Tinkerbell Lilac like a circle!), definitely popping by a farmer’s market for fresh tomatoes (salty tomatoes are life), gonna hunt down me a dang dahlia, will try and finish The Paris Wife, maybe make some shrimp pasta, and get in bed deliciously early.

I’d also like to formally apologize for the pillow slide ads you’re bound to get for the next three months sssssssssssorry!