Friday Flotsam


Wanna hear the craziest story?

*I* thought it was the craziest story when it happened. And then I told Natalie and I was like, “Wasn’t that the craziest story?” and she said, “Yep.” So that makes it thee craziest story. Want to hear it?

Okay, because it’s so crazy.

A week ago I hopped into the passenger side (of my best friend’s ride), buckled in, and started some Swift on the Spotify. In the door cubby thing to my right was a little plastic jar of hand lotion with no lid, a little bit crusted around the edges. So I stuck my left index finger into the jar and dredged it around the interior, scraping up the last bit of semi-hardened hand lotion. Got a decent amount of lotion, I will say! Rubbed my hands together, went on with life, yadda yadda.

A few minutes later (or hours, I have no real idea) I noticed my gold ring was missing, on that exact finger. And I announced it IN the car (so I guess it was minutes), “Oh noooo, my ring fell off somewhere!” “Which ring? Let me see.” Nat says. Me, “The one that was on this finger. I can’t believe it, I’m so sad. I loved that dainty ring.”

We moved on with life.

Next day, Aaron and I hop back in the car together for an errand (which is weird that we were even in the car together twice in this year), and there’s that little crusty open jar of lotion to my right. Without thinking, I stick my left finger into the jar and try to dredge up the gloppy hardened lotion and GUESS. WHAT.


My ring was IN THE JAR. And not only was it in there, rightly snug at the rim, it went BACK.ON.MY.FINGER. like butter. Screaming is entirely necessary right now because that’s exactly what I did in the car and startled Aaron to high noon. “My ring!!! MY RING IS IN THIS LOTION JAR, WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAAAAAY!”

The end.

Wasn’t that crazy?

Never mind.

Actually, while I have you, I have a question.

I may have already asked you this a long time ago, so please don’t delete me from your life if this is a re-ask, BUT:

I just ran out of my Halo glow stick, the one I use on cheek bones, above the brows, nose slope and right above the upper lip. What are you using these days for that glow, girl?

Haha, you glow, girl! I’m sure that’s already a thing. If it’s not I started it. You saw it here.

(Fun fact: I always hated the phrase, “You go, girl.” I have a gardening book called You Grow, Girl, and for some reason that one doesn’t gross me out. But the other one does. Obviously I agree with the message, it’s just – the wording is weird. These are the perplexing things happening in my noggin.)

What should I try?! Any good highlighter sticks or dab-on creams you would recommend?

I’m not putting glitter jewels on my cheek bones like prison tear drops. I draw the line there.

ACTUALLY, while I have you, let’s play a good round of: What’s Your Least Favorite Saying? (!)

This should be good.

And they can be classic sayings like, “I think I’ll hit the hay.” Or obnoxious ones like, “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” (so much no) Anything goes here. What are the things that people say that make you certifiably insane?

*PUNS NOT INCLUDED. I live for puns. Let us gently spare them.

Oh I can’t wait for the comments.

ACTUAAAAALLY, while I have you:

Have we ever seen Michael Cera and Beck in the same room?

Just gonna leave that right there.

Weekend plans?

It’s going to rain aaaaaaaall weekend. Which we need, and after reading The Four Winds I’ll take it with open torso. I’m deeming today “cozy nothing day” which means I’ll read a lot of Rodham, finish two New Yorker crossword puzzles and also finish I Care A Lot. Have you seen that movie? Hello, terrifying. But obviously I love her hair.

From this week, in case you missed it! ::: Creamy Bowtie Pasta with Chicken and Tomatoes. A delicious dinner hack that will shock you. And a Book Club post! So many good suggestions from you all, so thank ya thank ya. You go, girl!

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48 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Nancy March 12, 2021 at 9:03 am #
    Did I miss something because you originally said you were in your friend's car when you stuck your hand in the lotion and then you said the next day you and Aaron were in the car as if it were your own car but the lotion was in that car in the same place. So I'm confused. Doesn't take much to confuse me though.....So this really isn't a saying but I absolutely hate it when my sister calls me Sissie. It's making me tremble just typing it out. Also, not a saying but yesterday on the highway I saw a tow truck of sorts that had the "company" name of Dinky Doos on it and I thought to myself wtf kind of name is that for a business? Not that I would judge.........have a good weekend!
    • Bev Weidner March 12, 2021 at 9:20 am #
      Ohhhh hahaha "of my best friend's ride" are lyrics to an old '90s song. I was in our minivan both times! hope that helps clarify. :) (Yeah, Dinky Doos is just awful.)
      • Nancy March 12, 2021 at 1:08 pm #
        Well, I feel like an idiot ?
        • Sue March 12, 2021 at 8:47 pm #
          Nancy, I was confused too!
      • Kim Brunner March 13, 2021 at 3:53 pm #
        Not a thing wrong with “kiddos.” I actually find it very endearing. And about the “have a good one....” I don’t think I really say it. I might say “have a good day.” But this is HYSTERICAL, a friend wrote it on a Christmas card. Literally signed their card: Have a good one, Joan. ?
    • KC March 12, 2021 at 3:38 pm #
      I have habit of doing riffs off the "easy peasy lemon squeezy." Like "lunchy, lunchy lemon scrunchy" and i think my coworkers hate me now, lol.
    • Peekiesmom March 12, 2021 at 4:11 pm #
      I had to re-read that too, but figured you were referring to Aaron as your best friend! I mean, how sweet!!
      • Bev Weidner March 13, 2021 at 7:26 am #
        Hahahah! It's SCRUBS. Go listen to the song - you'll remember. :)
  2. Jenn P March 12, 2021 at 9:18 am #
    I like the Charlotte Tilbury Highlight Wand thing. It's a little spendy, but I like it a lot. Also the Hourglass highlight stick is beautiful.
  3. Bri G March 12, 2021 at 10:11 am #
    “Okie dokie artichokey” ?????
  4. Erin H March 12, 2021 at 10:15 am #
    "it is what it is" drives me CRAZY. It just feels rude and that the person is invalidating your feelings.
    • Kathleen March 13, 2021 at 9:59 pm #
      Exactly! I hate that phrase too
  5. Jane George March 12, 2021 at 10:18 am #
    "No rest for the weary"
  6. Stacey March 12, 2021 at 10:51 am #
    Not so much a saying but a word - Irregardless. Saying the word "regardless" means "irregardless", so why put in the extra effort of putting the "ir" before it?! Obviously this stupid pet peeve makes me a crazy person!
    • Christina March 13, 2021 at 10:43 am #
      Yessss!!!!! Why?!!! That and “I could care less” because it’s usually said with such emotion and emphasis. And it’s wrong!
  7. Anonymous March 12, 2021 at 11:00 am #
    Can't stand Awesome Sauce - ugh ! I Care A Lot is dispicable - and i just read an article about that exact thing happenng to someone!! Craziness !! But yes, I also love her hair ;)
  8. rita March 12, 2021 at 11:04 am #
    i just figured you were naming aaron your best friend and i said "awww" to myself when i read it! is this a saying? 'eenie meenie chili beanie. the spirits are about to speak' (name that tv show)
  9. Renae March 12, 2021 at 11:29 am #
    "it is what it is" duh. Rain is good but it's killing my baseball vibe...the kid is supposed to start his first varsity game next Thursday and I'm all, "Look Lord, you cancelled last baseball season, can I just get a beautiful opening day for my 6'1" baby?!" Sigh. Enjoy the weekend, glad you found your ring. I thought it was going to be a story about your friends cooking grease or something weird but then when I figured out it was the hubs I was like, "Ok, girlfriend knew it was lotion." Whew.
  10. Angelique March 12, 2021 at 12:01 pm #
    I have an irrational hatred for the phrase "cool beans." Nothing could be less cool, lol.
    • Gina March 13, 2021 at 11:35 am #
      Ahh, thanks for this reminder. My niece when little, all her C's were T sounding so it was "tool beans" - we say, "tool beans" just as a play on her. HA! I'll go ahead and add mine here - a word, not a phrase, "cuz" for cousin. no.
  11. Tif March 12, 2021 at 12:46 pm #
    "Kiddos". I hate it. Kids, children, tiny humans, anything else, please!
    • Beverly March 12, 2021 at 4:07 pm #
      I hate kiddos too! (but everyone else seems to like it?!) Also I hate "sissy" in when people refer to their sister (or daughter) as "sissy". Drives me crazy!!!
  12. CeeCee March 13, 2021 at 5:23 am #
    You often make me laugh out loud. Literally. True belly laugh. Thank you for that gift. No recommendations on a stuffs for your cheeks. I abhor the phrase, "Have a good one". Total, unadulterated ugh. I'll throw you off my front porch for that one .. and then, laugh out loud.
  13. Maggie March 13, 2021 at 8:41 am #
    “ the end of the day.” What if my revelation happens in the middle of the day?! Ha!
  14. Courtney March 13, 2021 at 8:44 am #
    I hate “making memories” first off it’s pretty bold to think your children will remember whatever activity you planned and secondly just live in the moment a little!
  15. Marine March 13, 2021 at 9:21 am #
    Just dropping in to say I picked up on your TLC No Scrubs reference ??
  16. Jes March 13, 2021 at 9:33 am #
    “Anyhoo” or “Anyhoozle” - No. Just no.
  17. Rosemarie March 13, 2021 at 9:36 am #
    I hate when people say, “must be nice”. Drives me crazy. Love the scrubs reference. Must be nice to go places (see?!?!?! So horrible).
    • Dj March 13, 2021 at 10:14 am #
      Agree, it feels snarky and mean spirited. Also, “That. That right there.” Over used.
  18. Laura Kohel March 13, 2021 at 9:50 am #
    “Sounds like a plan”. Talk about stating the obvious... jeeez.
  19. Natalie March 13, 2021 at 9:53 am #
    Not a phrase - but when people Used the word “hubby” or “hubs” for their husband - I can’t. I will also question my friendship with someone if they use “LOL” in texts. Because, no.
    • Kelly Askew March 17, 2021 at 6:53 pm #
      What are your thoughts on "wifey"? :)
  20. Betty March 13, 2021 at 10:09 am #
    Hi Bev, I can’t stand “it’s all good” or “no worries” instead of saying “sure, no problem” when you ask somebody for something. It’s off-putting. My husband and I also can’t stand it when people pronounce “important” incorrectly, they say “import-unh.” SMH ?‍♀️
  21. Melissa March 13, 2021 at 10:43 am #
    I can’t stand it when people say “adulting,” ie “I adulted so hard today.” What does that even mean? Also, definitely got the “No Scrubs” reference and love/hated “I Care A Lot” in that I loved the acting and her hair, but truly hated every character. I guess that’s the point?
  22. Laura March 13, 2021 at 11:16 am #
    “Awesome sauce” “Amazeballs” and anything that includes the word “moist” - let’s outlaw that word. Thanks
    • Paige March 13, 2021 at 12:53 pm #
      “My bad”. Grrrrrrrrr!
  23. Gina March 13, 2021 at 2:48 pm #
    I just started using Bobbi Browns new line ...Jones Road...miracle balm. It’s clean and wonderful!!
  24. Jan Crowley March 13, 2021 at 4:48 pm #
    When people refer to children as the littles or the grands makes me crazy.
  25. Wendy March 13, 2021 at 6:11 pm #
    “The girls”. As in, “this sports bra just doesn’t have enough support for the girls.” Or even worse a marketing campaign that uses it to describe a product. HATE.
  26. Robyn March 13, 2021 at 6:13 pm #
    “We’re all in this together” it’s true but it’s just been overused and has lost its impact to me.
  27. Amy w March 13, 2021 at 8:34 pm #
    The ring loss ( not yet a ring toss) is as crazy as your madewell hoops lost in the tent. You are a repeat felon. Ok my saying which I got from my grandfather is “ go and enjoy “ Ps. I’m glad you found both pieces of jewelry. Go and enjoy, Amy
  28. Leslie March 14, 2021 at 9:16 am #
    Oh ok. I’ve got a few...? When people are ordering at a restaurant and say “I’ll do the...” what? You’ll do? UGH! Instead PLEASE say... “may I please order the...”. Also... “all good” or “you’re good” ? Also... “no worries” ?
  29. Erin Winter March 14, 2021 at 6:37 pm #
    "Bless your heart" is pretty polarizing. I understand in the south it can kind of be a "middle finger", but I find myself saying it (I work in health care, so hear a lot of stuff where it is warranted) and don't know if it is cringe worthy or not. Please advise.
  30. Stephanie March 15, 2021 at 11:55 am #
    "Sunday Funday" fills me with rage and I don't know why.
  31. Jennifer March 16, 2021 at 11:13 am #
    Not phrases, but two terms I cannot stand: littles and mini me.
  32. Kelly March 17, 2021 at 6:51 pm #
    I hate "Sorry, not sorry." :(
  33. Theresa king April 3, 2021 at 8:11 pm #
    The last year or so, my medical students and residents say “of course” when I say thank you. It’s a new response, I guess. I initially thought it was a little flippant and rude.
  34. bubble shooter May 31, 2021 at 4:14 am #
    I wish I had a house like this, baking at free time and having some coffee near the window. Everything will be perfect!

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