I already can’t wait for your new life.
Because wipe your glasses and look again.
YES, girl. It’s silky coconut noodles topped with spiced (like, Chinese 5-spice. get on board.) pork, sautéed veggies and buckets of fresh crunchy things on top. Yuh huh. Yeppers. (Aaron h a t e s the word peppers. I say it purely to annoy him because I do understand his intense aversion to the word. It’s an awful word. I love it.)
This may look like a lot, but honesty it’s just a couple of chippidy chops and you’re done. You could even carve out 15 minutes earlier in the day and prep the onions, peppers, cucumbers and scallions. That way when dinner rolls around YEW DA BOSS. (Can’t stand that I said it like that just now.)
So, we sauté. Get them to the point where they sort of look like they would in fajitas. Blistered, crisp tender, deep and fragrant. I mean you know this. I just feel like talking.
Hi! Tell me things! How’s your hair today?!
Then we add the ground pork. And I’ll tell you, this is straight-up ground pork. Not pork sausage. You can buy the pork sausage for that extra sagey, all spice type of flavor. But we’re about to season it ourselves, so ya know, whatever.
Get the pork browned all over, right in the peppers and onions, then add that Chinese 5-spice. A Tbs. is all you need because that ish is PO-TAYENT. Not spicy, just rich, a bit sweet and so delicious you’ll want to make the rest of your life about it.
Also, you might be thinking, “Why didn’t you brown the pork first, Bev? That’s the normal way normal people do normal things.” Good q, bruh. I didn’t because I really wanted the onions and peppers to blister and get some color on them. Had I browned the pork first, the peppers and onions would have cooked, but in the released grease (we’re starting a band) and not have gotten the SEARED action I preferred.
Next up, our coconut noodles. Which is just: coconut milk + two cups chicken stock + noodles + lime juice. Simmer this in a skillet on a medium heat until the noodles are silky and luscious. You’ll use tongs every minute or so to keep them from sticking. Throw a cover on it for a second. That will help speed it up. And add more stock if you need. Then a good healthy pinch of salt.
Ah yes, there you go.
Also, if you don’t have a purple onion peel on the floor you’ve done it completely wrong.
And here she is.
You’ll start with the noodles on the bottom, topped with ground pork and veggies, and then a good sprinkling slash raging throw-down of fresh cucumbers, peanuts, scallions and a truck load of mint. And more lime juice. You’ll want that zippy zingy ziddly zow, ya know.
This is the thing, once you get it all stirred together it’s CRAZY good. Your noodles might be a little sticky at first, but get that juicy pork and veggies all married up and down in that and it’s completely ridiculous. Crunchy, complex, bright, spiced, fresh, rich, all of it. All the things. Every last thing. It’s all here. For you and your open-wide salivating pie hole.
Simple! But an absolute treat. Friday night?
See you in those coconut noodles, okay?