Friday Flotsam

Fralemtime’s Fray! (just kidding don’t delete me from your life.)


(you’re like, oh no.)

I want to ask you something serious, and I need to you mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for it. It’s a big ask. Your answer will violently stir and rumble your soul in a way you didn’t think possible.

Here we go.

When you load the dishwasher, do you put the fork tines up? Or down?

Guys I have never even once t h o u g h t about this as an actual domestic option until it was brought up in my book that I’m finishing this morning gosh darnit or else.

I always have the tines up. Every time. Because if you put them facing down, they’ll poke through the holes of the flatware container thingy and get stuck and bent in the washing process and then you’ll have to buy new forks. Won’t they? Wait is that the earth toppling off its axis? Why does my hair feel weird.

Because in my book it’s a MAJOR source of contention between this husband and wife. And when I read it was like, “This is an actual thing people fight about? What have I been missing out on?!”

Tines up! <–said like Midge Maisel.

I want to introduce you all to a game and see if a) you already know it and play it all the time, or b) you’ve never heard of it and now you want to make the rest of your life about it.

When I was in New York, I was having wrap drinks with my two producers, and I casually said, “You guys I’ve been watching reruns of my favorite show this week in the mornings and night and it’s giving me so much joy. Guess what the show is.” (<–because I can’t just tell you the show like a normal person.) And then what happened after that opened a whole new world for myself and others around me until I die. Joshua asked, “Is it more like . . . Law and Order or more like . . . Everybody Loves Raymond?” And for a second I thought he was just asking in an absurd way. Then I realized, WAIT THIS IS A GAME. I AM TRANSFORMING INTO A NEW PERSON THIS INSTANT.

And I said, “It’s more like Everybody Loves Raymond.” And then Katy asked because she knew the game and I didn’t, “Is it more like Everybody Loves Raymond . . . or more like Jeopardy?” And my heart spilled over with a glee river because this is the best moment of life.

I said, “It’s more like Everybody Loves Raymond.” on the verge of tears.

See where this is going? You narrow down based on your answer! How have I never known about this game?!

And Joshua said, “Is it more like Everybody Loves Raymond . . . or more like Friends?”

And I said, “It’s more like Friends.”

Katy goes, “Is it more like Friends . . . or more like Seinfeld?”

“IT’S SEINFELD!,” I screamed a little too loud for human ears in public. They got it! How much fun was that?! Wait, did you leave?

So basically I’ve been playing this 2306456% of the time since I’ve been home and I’m not annoying anyone at all.

(Ashlee, you better believe we’re playing this next weekend at our unicorn party.)

(you’re like, “unicorn party? is that a code for drugs?” wouldn’t you like to know.)

I have something to admit to you, and it’s not going to any sense at all, given who I am. And I need you all to just try and understand it, wrap your heads around it, offer me compassion and a healing hand, so that we can work through it together.

Here we go.

I’ve never seen Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles in their entirety.

I should just end this whole website right here, right now.

I’ve seen scenes! Snippets! Little parts here and there! But never from top to bottom, and I’m nervous to ask this but, should I?

Which one is better? Which one would be perfect for tonight? Aren’t they the same exact movie? Wait, did you throw your laptop in a lake?

Quiz! See if you can do this without looking at the internet. (Aaron and I did this just the other morning, but we need lives.)

Name everyone in the Brat Pack! And while you’re at it, name everyone in the RAT Pack!


You know, Andrew McCarthy and Paul Rudd have a slightly similar vibe. But Paul could take Andrew down any day of the week.


Weekend plans?

Are you the type to go big on Valentine’s Day? Or do you keep it chill? I’m 100% in the chill camp. We’ll get a “tiny family love cactus”, like always, and a glass of rosé with chocolates at Andrés, like always. Cozy and cute. Oh! I’m also putting together a little scavenger hunt for the kids after school today. I bought some lip balms (normal) and those little clear tubes of Hershey kisses with the heart at the top (classic) and I’m writing out little clues all over the house to find them. That’s it! And then Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles based on what you tell me. And if Aaron doesn’t stick me out in the snow at the mention of either of those movies.

I bet Paul Rudd would watch with me.

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45 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Juliette February 14, 2020 at 7:28 am #
    Sixteen candles for SURE!
    • Mimi February 14, 2020 at 12:21 pm #
      S i x t e e n C a n d l e s ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
  2. Nancy February 14, 2020 at 7:31 am #
    I'm camp "chill" for V Day. I've never cared for it myself. But I love your idea of the scavenger hunt for the kids. That's something they'll always remember and probably replicate for their kids one day! As far as the movies, I think I may have seen Pretty in Pink but it's been so long I don't remember a thing about it! I know I haven't seen Sixteen Candles but I love the Rat Pack movie where they were all in Saturday Detention but can't even remember the name of that one! But I loved it! So, I am of absolutely no help! Happy Friday!
    • Bev Weidner February 14, 2020 at 7:34 am #
      You're thinking of The Breakfast Club and it's soooo good!
      • Emily February 16, 2020 at 11:02 am #
        I hope you went with Sixteen Candles!! We usually do chill Valentine’s but this year we attending a Mardi Gras Ball. Was super fun. The new game sounds awesome- totally trying it over the next dinner table with friends. I am sooo with you on Paul Rudd. Listen to his interview with Conan O’Brien on Conan’s podcast “Conan needs friends” or something like that. It’s so wonderfully Rudd.
  3. Kristin February 14, 2020 at 8:14 am #
    Because of my age, I love both of those movies. You should probably watch Sixteen Candles now, before your kids are old enough to point out all of the cringeworthy, inappropriate things that didn't occur to you when you first watched it in high school...oops, I think I'm talking about me now. But seriously, it's getting harder for me to watch that movie in the same way because there are a lot of bad moments. I haven't watched Pretty in Pink as many times or as recently as 16, but I THINK it doesn't have as many super cringeworthy moments.
  4. Jennifer Jones February 14, 2020 at 9:03 am #
    Hey Bev! Depends on what you want more - a love story with cool music and thrifted clothes - Pretty in Pink or a funny, coming of age story - Sixteen Candle. If I had to guess which one you would prefer and relate to - Pretty in Pink. Can't wait to hear what you think on Insta!
    • Tif February 14, 2020 at 11:11 am #
      Completely agree with this. PiP (ooh that's fun) also has the present of Steff/James Spader who is deliciously evil. And Annie Potts!
  5. Melanie February 14, 2020 at 10:14 am #
    I’ve never seen either of those movies either, sorry! 🤣
  6. Emily February 14, 2020 at 10:30 am #
    Tines down! Because then when they’re clean and you grab them out to put them away your hand is on the eating part! Ew. Also, V-Day is whatever (I refused to go on a first date with my now-husband on Valentines Day because i thought it was cheesy so our firstdateaversary is the 15th! Ha.)
    • Laura Lee February 15, 2020 at 9:42 am #
      Both great, but Pretty in Pink for the win!
  7. Dee @ The Kitchen Snob February 14, 2020 at 10:31 am #
    I've always wondered why you say don't leave you. Why would I ever leave you?? And then these 2 movies. OMG. Yes, 16 Candles would be my pick. You'll never hear the word "automobile" the same way again :-)
  8. Sharnee February 14, 2020 at 10:51 am #
    Sixteen Candles 🎂❤️
  9. Sarah February 14, 2020 at 11:07 am #
    I cant believe this is so divided....Pretty in Pink is way more your jam! Ok maybe just mine. ;-)
  10. Erin Bloys February 14, 2020 at 11:08 am #
    Fork tines, spoons, whisks, spatulas, etc. are always up so they can be freed of their detritus and debris. The only thing that goes down are knife blades, for safety!
    • Erin February 14, 2020 at 11:10 am #
      Oh, and Pretty in Pink is a much better choice. 16 Candles was always vaguely cynical and depressing. And the theme song to Pretty in Pink will always be a classic 80s tune!
  11. Gaye McGrath February 14, 2020 at 11:09 am #
    Tines down! Do you want germy hands all over your forks? What about toilet paper? Over or under?
  12. Tif February 14, 2020 at 11:14 am #
    Me again. AFTER you watch PiP, read this:
    • Jeanette February 20, 2020 at 5:52 pm #
      Way late reading this.... Long Duck Dong forever!! I can’t believe you haven’t seen either of these. I just appreciate your memory for one-liners in movies and Sixteen Candles will send you on a spiral 😊.
  13. Jackie February 14, 2020 at 11:18 am #
    Sixteen Candles would be my choice more silly and ridiculous whereas Pretty in Pink is more dramatic. And 100% chill but I won’t be mad if the man wants to do something special for me.
  14. Nicole February 14, 2020 at 11:37 am #
    Tines DOWN! That way when unloading, you aren't touching the part of the fork you're going to put into your mouth hole later.
  15. Chelsea February 14, 2020 at 11:52 am #
    Tines up always, but it was because my mom taught me that if you put them down they won't get as clean - you want them up so the spray/soap can hit where the food/germs are🤷 I will say that my ex didn't load them that way (although he did once i'taught' him) so I guess it could be a thing? Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles are definitely NOT the same movie 😁 If you're looking for one to watch tonight, I recommend Pretty in Pink. Gotta love Duckie! I didn't see 16 candles until I was ... mid-20s maybe and I don't think I 'got it'. But maybe someone else can give a different insight! Have a great night either way! ✌️💕
  16. Shara February 14, 2020 at 12:02 pm #
    Pretty in Pink!!!! Or just watch both!
  17. Heather P. February 14, 2020 at 12:30 pm #
    you're a total Pretty In Pink chick, so watch that one FOR SURE Off topic, but I have a book rec for you - This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger. It's about 4 orphans who escape an orphanage/institution and travel by canoe to St. Paul, MN but along the way they get into all sorts of trouble.Takes place in 1932 and there's this depression dustbowl vibe and the kids are just beyond, especially the main character Odie. READ IT, PLEASE xoxo Happy Valentine's day
  18. Shari February 14, 2020 at 12:57 pm #
    I will definitely say that you need to see both. BUT - to watch with your hubs on V-Day? I'd go with Sixteen Candles. Watch Pretty In Pink on a girls' night movie night. And yes to Paul Rudd. I lerv him.
  19. Deanna February 14, 2020 at 1:04 pm #
    My dishwasher has a third rack just for silverware so sideways! But before that I was times up so the water and soap could really do their thing...and if people have problems with my hands touching their forks while putting them away, they should see how much I touch the food.
  20. Debbie D February 14, 2020 at 2:38 pm #
    Tines up! Wash your hands before you put the dishes away--no germs! 16 Candles! Didn't like Pretty in Pink as much and hated (despised) Breakfast Club. Rat Pack--Sammy Davis Junior, Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop. Brat Pack--Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy.
  21. Sabrina February 14, 2020 at 2:41 pm #
    16 Candles if you HAVE to choose! And since you are loving the guessing game, you should download the Akinator ap if you have and Iphone.
  22. Mike February 14, 2020 at 2:45 pm #
    Tines up. Our dishwasher has the "utensils caddy" with holes at the top of the hinged lid. So, unless you are going to open the lid and "thread" the handles up through to have tines down, well... no. :)
  23. Susan February 14, 2020 at 3:53 pm #
    Tines up, always! You must watch Sixteen Candles. It’s the best.
  24. Christine February 14, 2020 at 4:50 pm #
    Definitely Pretty in Pink!!!
  25. JD February 14, 2020 at 5:05 pm #
    I prefer 16 Candles (Jake Ryan > Blane). But whichever you watch, just keep repeating - it was the 80’s. It was a different time. This is fine.
  26. Meredith February 14, 2020 at 6:21 pm #
    I’m in the same camp as you, only seen snippets of both movies. Molly Ringwald is kind of a big meh for me, I never got why she was so popular 🤷🏼‍♀️ Daryl Hannah is more my jam 😘 Happy Valentines Day!
  27. Christi Moisant February 14, 2020 at 10:09 pm #
    Sixteen Candles was EVERYTHING to me. I had a long standing crush on a Jr when I was a freshman and completely thought it would work out like the movie. Side note, last month I actually went to a viewing of Sixteen Candles at a retro movie theatre in Oklahoma City and Anthony Michael Hall was there for a meet and greet and after the movie for a question and answer session. He was quite charming and it was super fun. I actually attended with a couple of buddies from high school.
  28. Samantha February 14, 2020 at 10:28 pm #
    Jon Cryer lip-synching Ottis Redding in the record store is the absolute best scene! Can't say I haven't done it a hundred times throughout my own house. Pretty In Pink !!! But also just watch them both.
  29. Rebekah W. February 15, 2020 at 6:56 am #
    I was actually reading a Good Housekeeping magazine recently who said that your utensils get the cleanest when you have a mixture of utensils up and down. I’ve historically always been a tines up person, but my husband always throws them in their tines down. Now, rather than fix all of the ones he puts in there wrong ;) I just leave them, so it balances his out. I’m a total sucker for both of these movies! I’d have to say Sixteen Candles is my favorite, but something tells me you’d prefer Pretty in Pink. You won’t go wrong either way!
  30. Susie February 15, 2020 at 8:11 am #
    I almost wrote Sixteen Candles, because it’s my favorite, but I don’t think it’s held up as well over time. So Pretty in Pink it is! Even if you don’t love it, you’ll love Annie Potts! Definitely tines down, because they don’t poke you when you take them out. And that game would drive my friends and family crazy, which is why I will absolutely try it.
  31. Susie February 15, 2020 at 8:11 am #
    I almost wrote Sixteen Candles, because it’s my favorite, but I don’t think it’s held up as well over time. So Pretty in Pink it is! Even if you don’t love it, you’ll love Annie Potts! Definitely tines down, because they don’t poke you when you take them out. And that game would drive my friends and family crazy, which is why I will absolutely try it.
  32. Toni February 15, 2020 at 12:12 pm #
    Tines down because I am a total klutz who could open a vein on a fork when unloading the dishwasher...
  33. Sarahd February 15, 2020 at 6:49 pm #
    For shame! Watch both immediately!!! And throw in “For Keeps” for good measure if you haven’t seen it. Trust:)
  34. Becky K. February 17, 2020 at 6:56 am #
    Tines up for life. You’re just going to have to commit to two nights of Molly Ringwold, because both movies are 80’s gold. Pretty in Pink has more of a serious real life vibe and Sixteen Candles has more of a slapstick vibe. The actor who plays Jake Ryan is definitely a 30 year old playing a17 year old. I fell in love with Paul Rudd in Clueless and we’ve been soulmates ever since.
  35. Morgan February 18, 2020 at 3:11 pm #
    Tines down, obviously, so your grubby hands don't get germs on them when you pull them out of the dishwasher.
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