Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRer her hoo hah.

You know how we pronounce pajamas two different ways? And by we I mean, probably just Americans. I think.

So like, pajamas. The jam being pronounced like jam. Like grape jam. Or a Grateful Dead jam sesh. Or those bad-to-the-bone culottes we wore in the ’80s with the neon shapes splashed here and there called jams. Pajamas.

OR.

We call them pajamas. Like, pajahmas. Like, “say ahhhhhh.” That’s common, too.

Also we call them jammies. As in, “Get your jammies on, then you can make Mommy a taco and give her a back rub!” With the jam being pronounced, once again, like a jar of grape jam. Totally natural.

But you know what we never say? Jammies. Like, jahmmies.

Say it out loud. “Where did you get those jahmmies, brah?” See? You’re laughing. We just can’t get away with it. Americans can’t do this without sounding completely ridiculous.

I bet Nigella Lawson could say to her children, “Darling nuggets, slip into your jahmmies and I’ll fetch you a cup of tea and a biscuit,” and it would sound like melted butter on my cracked-wide-open, submissive soul hole.

But we just sound like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Why is one pronunciation completely acceptable and normal, and the other is douche turd city?

These are the things I think about at night and all the time.

Can we talk about that Magic Bullet thing? I don’t have one. I should start there.

Are they, as the name boasts, magic?

And I don’t mean rabbit-out-the-hat-make-an-Amtrak-disappear-Copperfield type of stuff. But is it truly amazing?

THIS IS WHY I ASK. (didn’t mean to scream that part.)

There are times when I’m making say, a salad dressing, or a chimichurri, and my goal is to basically pulverize the crap out of the parsley. Or any herb. And I feel like (mini or regular) food processor blades (or even standard-sized blenders) shove the herbs to the side of the basin so fast that it has no time to chop or blend or truly break down into micro specks, man!

Will a Magic Bullet do that?

When I was in Paris a few years ago, we were taking a cooking class at this restaurant called Spring, and as we hovered around the kitchen like salivating blood hounds watching the chefs being complete wizard geniuses with food, I saw this one dude making a chive oil with what LOOKED to be something bullet-y. I’ve never stopped thinking about it.

That, and the fact that we can’t say jahmmies.

Is the Magic Bullet my answer? Or something like it?

Basically, what will give me Paris chive oil? Thanks and goodbye.

Speaking of boobs, who here sleeps in a bra? I need a show of hands. Do you sleep in a bra?

And obviously there are bras that would be awful to sleep in. But if you’re in say, a bralette, or a loose-ish sports bra, or anything without an underwire, do you leave it on?

Truthfully I’m just too lazy to take mine off. 90% of the time I sleep in a bra and I WANT TO SAY this is normal? (my mom is shaking her head like, “honestly why does this blog exist.”)

I think there are even sleep bras, aren’t there?! Hold on, I’m asking the Goog.

UM THERE SO ARE. See, I’m not a total loon! (don’t look at me like that.)

POLL: do you sleep in a bra, or do you “let the girls be free?” (my friend Lacy is rolling her eyes so hard at that right now, I can feel it.)

Guys I still haven’t unrolled the tent for my earrings. I know you’ve all been on the edge of your lives wondering.

Weekend plans?

Well they CANCELED school for all the ice and snow we’re getting today, but so far all I see out there is the tiniest loogie from one little cloud.

Tomorrow we’re having friends over (to talk about our renovation ideas! he’s an architect and she’s a designer. i have cool friends.), so we’ll have a taco party for the kids while I have an ACTUAL GLASS OF WINE (it’s been two whole weeks!) and blab about vaulted ceilings, skylights and french doors and wait it costs how much?

Other than that, I still have art to hang, pants to organize, shoes to go through, The Giver of Stars to read, and you know what, why don’t we just make that two glasses of wine.

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25 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Debbie Crownover January 17, 2020 at 8:38 am #
    I actually say "BUH-JAH-MAS!! Don't know why the B instead of a D. (BUT...I also say BUH-TAY-DUH" instead of other spud words). And...I wear a bra to bed only when it's storming outside and/or when I'm sleeping anywhere besides my own bed in my own house.
  2. Chelsea January 17, 2020 at 8:57 am #
    Over here, we cut straight to the chase and call paJAMas 'jams. And the girls NEED TO BREATHE. Always, but definitely at night time. If there is an opportunity to go braless (in life and in sleep), I will take it.
  3. Nancy January 17, 2020 at 9:24 am #
    I thought you took the day off from FF but it's here! I always look forward to this post each week. :)
    • Laura Lee January 20, 2020 at 9:33 am #
      I totally say Jahmmies and I'm from NYC!
  4. Stephanie January 17, 2020 at 10:48 am #
    Pa JAM as. Bra ON. Magic Bullet is quite good!
  5. Kristin January 17, 2020 at 12:07 pm #
    If I slept in a bra (which I wouldn't, because I hate them, and am sooo happy to take them off), I know it would end up as backwards as the straps would let it be by morning. If you sleep with a bra on, do they really stay where they're supposed to be??
  6. HeatherBThyName January 17, 2020 at 3:26 pm #
    JAH-mmies for the win. Never sleep with a bra on, ever, bc these girls need to feel free if not for a few hours a night...I'm sure you wanted to know that ;-) For the oil, what about an emulsifier? I feel like that could be a good option, I personally like mine (makes great soups, dressings, etc. You prolly already have one. Also those necklaces from itsgldn(?) LOVE THEM. Gonna get the dandelion one. K,bai.
  7. Kristen January 17, 2020 at 4:18 pm #
    Total bra sleeper here...always have been, always will be. I mean if the house caught on fire I’d hate to go outside braless. No one wants that!
  8. Melissa January 17, 2020 at 5:27 pm #
    I have to say that I used to flip flop between jammies and jahmies when my kids were little. Now it’s paJAMAs. No bra sleeping. In fact, I’m slingshotting that contraption as soon as I walk in the door every afternoon. I personally LOVE the magic bullet! So quick and faster than a mini food processor....keep calm and chive on! :)
  9. sam January 17, 2020 at 5:29 pm #
    To me sleeping in a bra would be like sleeping in jeans. I just can't, there's no way. I had to when I was nursing because my supply was enough to feed the neighborhood and would soak our mattress and I remember, in my exhausted newborn delirium, taking out an irrational anger on my having to wear a bra to bed. aaaanyway I totally laughed out loud to jammies, so hilarious. I am so stoked to hear more about your renovations! Love these friday posts so much!!
  10. Amanda January 17, 2020 at 6:28 pm #
    Jam. All the way. I also live in Missouri like you and i am not civilized enough to say things proper. I NEVER sleep in a bra and can’t imagine it! But in my defense, my girls in a bra or not are basically the same 😂
    • Kristin January 17, 2020 at 7:35 pm #
      Speaking of Missouri and saying things properly, I don't know if you're in KC, Amanda, but local radio show Central Standard talked about Missouree vs Missourah this week. I realized that, even though I say Missouree, I don't give a darn what anyone in MO says, but I would be thoroughly annoyed to hear anyone not from/living in MO saying MIssourah.
      • Rae January 19, 2020 at 1:55 pm #
        My mother said it both ways depending on the context. For example my dad worked for the Missouri State Highway Department (before it was MODOT, but she lived in St. How Missouruh. Go figure.
        • Rae January 19, 2020 at 1:57 pm #
          That should be St. Joe. Stupid autocorrect.
          • Kristin January 20, 2020 at 7:44 am #
            Central Standard said Missourah was more common from KC up to St. Joe and the NW than in other parts of the state, and I found that to be confusing. My grandparents were from KC (I grew up in Wisconsin) and my grandma said rah. I don't know what Grandpa said. But they were always visiting his mom and cousins in St. Joe, so maybe they all said rah!
          • Kristin January 20, 2020 at 7:44 am #
            Sheesh...not confusing...surprising!!
  11. Nicole January 17, 2020 at 8:21 pm #
    PJS!!! Also, magic bullet means something else in our house. Free the girls at night!!!!
  12. Cindy January 17, 2020 at 8:56 pm #
    My bullet died after a few short weeks! Oh, and I let them girls hang..just sayin!
  13. Jackie January 17, 2020 at 8:59 pm #
    The girls are free at night. And yea the magic bullet would work for chive oil, but so would a regular blender (vs the food processor). I like the bullet better though because any blender I've ever owned has broken after 2 uses and the bullet hasnt. Also, it cleans and stores more easily. The tip I learned recently was to blend herb oils/sauces with an ice cube or 2 to keep it from warming as it blends and turning dull/brown.
  14. Robin January 17, 2020 at 10:55 pm #
    Sleep in a bra? Nooooooo!! The Magic Bullet is pretty awesome! Go get it at Bed Bath and Beyond and you have a month to try it. I LOVE mine and if it doesn’t work for you on your dressings then they will take it back with no questions asked. Dooooo it;)
  15. B January 18, 2020 at 3:58 am #
    Interesting that you should ask - yes I do sleep in a bra! Have done ever since I had my babies. Just feels better that way now ... perhaps post babies I stopped wearing uncomfortable bras? Yes to the bullet. The trick is the liquid to solid ratio though. Super dry ingredients work, but if your herbs are damp they’ll need lubricant. We also say Jahmmies here in NZ BTW.
  16. Rebekah January 18, 2020 at 7:06 am #
    I totally wear my bra to bed! Underwire and all! I realize this is totally a taboo thing to do, but not wearing a bra makes me feel like the girls are all over the place and may just suffocate me in my sleep. I prefer to keep them contained and in their proper place. People think I’m a loon too!
  17. Diane January 18, 2020 at 12:58 pm #
    Bra off!!! In fact, that baby comes off once I get home from work and stays off unless I have to actually see people (it's just me and the furkids). Magic Bullet? This is news to me and I'm off to Google it and see what all the excitement is about. Thanks for your always entertaining thoughts and how they jump around!
  18. Rae January 19, 2020 at 2:04 pm #
    I not only sleep braless, I sleep topless. I know,TMI. But being a woman of a certain age, a top gets to hit at night even when the temps are single digits, like they get now. I'm also one of those that has a fan pointed at my bed all year long, just to go with the under-the-sheet tootsie warmer. I put my warm fuzzies on as soon as I get home.
  19. Sandra January 20, 2020 at 8:24 pm #
    I’m late to this party, but the only times I slept in a bra was when I was nursing my babies, because it was easier than dealing with wet sheets. Does napping count?

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