Friday Flotsam

fffffffffff R I D A Y.

Friday Flotsam

Please tell me you’ve already heard about the Full House revival? Best. Day. Ever.

It’s even called Fuller House, haaa! I don’t know why that makes me giggle actually. Probably because I’m going to call it Fulllllerrreerrererrr House like a gigantic troll.

What’s even better than the Full House reunion, is the way Mary-Kate and Ashley found out about it. Have you seen? It’s a totally true story! Sort of.

Prepare to pee your face.

Friday Flotsam

I have some FANTASTIC news. Are you the type of person who gets immense satisfaction from picking at things? Like a flaky, scaly sunburn or a crusty scab? M E , T O O. (shocked much?) I’ve had this annoying ingrown hair in my freaking armpit for like six months, and I’ve been eagerly waiting for the day that the bump gets big enough for me to attack.

It finally happened this week. I got that son of a b OUT of there. It only looked like a scene from ER, minus George Clooney’s gentle, soothing yet rugged assistance. I even feel like my left arm is lighter! Which is weird, there’s no possible way.

And no, there’s no way you can unread any of this, why do you ask?

Friday Flotsam

I made the best hummus I’ve ever made in my entire life this week.

Is it frowned upon to talk about hummus right after ingrown armpit hairs? I’m like, theee worst.

Anyway, look how whipped and creamy and luscious it is. The hummus, not my armpit. A couple of weeks ago I unexpectedly got the new cookbook Rose Water and Orange Blossoms by blogger Maureen Abood in the mail. Getting cookbooks in the mail isn’t out of the norm for me, but getting one that comes with a “Heavenly Hummus Kit” with it pretty much is. Dudes, I’m talking dried peeled chickpeas, the silkiest tahini I’ve ever experienced and a cute little stainless steel tin of sumac. Yep, that’s how you market. So, I made the hummus yesterday and our entire house broke loose from its foundation and flipped over thirteen times and then back again with jubilation. IT IS SO GOOD. And the whole book is filled with words I don’t know like kibbeh and koosa and sahnieh and ijjeh and labheh and chicken skewers.

Just kidding on the chicken skewers part.

Bravo, Maureen! I’m gonna get my kibbeh koosa on pronto. With a glass of wineh.

Don’t punch me.

Friday Flotsam

Speaking of, have you guys heard of carpet beetles? They’re the tiiiiiiiiinest little joke of a beetle ever. So tiny you need a magnifying glass. And some Valium. Well, they’re in my bedroom. Each year when the weather gets warm I’ll spot one or two here and there, cruising the window panes or making their way up a wall. And each year when the weather gets warm I have fifteen meltdowns and Google “TERRIFYING SMALL BEETLE WITH FANGS ON WALL” and read the exact same info. They mean no harm, blah blah blah. They like carpet, blah blah blah. And your soul, blah blah blah. Just repeatedly clean the area and they’ll go away, blah blah blah.

Well, GOOGLE, we have no carpet. And I clean the area every single day with a power hose and a shop vac. What else am I supposed to do?

More Valium? I mean, if you say so…

Friday Flotsam

This was us stuck in a storm last Saturday morning! You can’t really see the rain in this photo, but IT WAS THERE. That’s all I had to say about that.

Weekend plans? Tonight I’m making this (!!!) while it storms. We’ll watch this (!!!) while it storms. Tomorrow I’m going to my girlfran’s baby sherrrr, then finally to the garden nursery to get all our veggies and window boxes and flowers, oh my!

And then more rejoicing about my lack of ingrown armpit hair, more face planting into delicious hummus and hysterically running away from wall-cruising fanged carpet beetles. Jealous much?

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13 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Morgan April 24, 2015 at 8:19 am #
    I need therapy for my fear of any and all bugs. AND MAINLY BED BUGS. Like, I can't even be normal and go to a hotel without checking a million sources before. And let's just say, the first time I saw a few carpet beetles, I basically had a heart attack and thought "this is it!" and almost threw everything we own away. And moved. I'm so irrational. But BUGS SHOULD NOT BE ANYWHERE NEAR WHERE YOU SLEEP! Thank god for google.
  2. Sharana @ Living The Sweet Life Blog April 24, 2015 at 8:21 am #
    I think I pee'd my pants reading that text log -- I CAN"T WAIT for the full house come back!! Also, that hummus ... YUM ... your armpit tale ... classy ;) hahahha Happy friday!!
  3. anonforthisya April 24, 2015 at 8:48 am #
    call an exterminator about your bug issue. tell them what you have, and they can do an assessment to see if /how to get rid of the bugs!
  4. Liz April 24, 2015 at 9:16 am #
    Your blog is my faaaaaaaaaavorite are hilarious and I love coming here especially on Friday and reading away, always makes me day!
  5. Mary Beth April 24, 2015 at 9:31 am #
    bev, when o when are you going to write a book??? i mean, i'm sure that's at the top of your to-do list, along with juggling beautiful twins and everything else going on in your life, right? but seriously, it would be a best-seller. your sense of humor is my favorite :)
    • Bev Weidner April 24, 2015 at 12:30 pm #
      You're the sweetest! Soooommmmeeeeday it's on my bucket to-do list. :)
  6. Juliette April 24, 2015 at 10:17 am #
    gross armpit story. I was grocery shopping while on vacation and there was a guy checking out before me. He was of the Mexican ethnicity. Anyway, while unpacking my bags back at our rental, there was a can of spray deodorant that wasn't mine. My friend was all like, " oh man, now the guy is going to be stinky and stuff." Being the bold and risky person I am ( not in a million years is that true) I used the stuff. And I was all like," Man, this stuff rocks!" For a month I was all stink free. Then.... I got a weird bump in my armpit. Then.... it got huge and painful. Like I walked around with my arm up in the air cause I couldn't handle the pain when I had it down all normal like. So, I Googled it and Dr me deduced it was a boil. Which by the way don't Google boil images. Live ever! So I followed some suggestions which included heating a small glass and then quickly placing it over the boil to draw it out with super suction. Super painful. Eventually it popped ( almost typed pooped which would've been appropriate also) and all was good. I'll be a S.O.B but another one popped up about a month later. I forgot to mention this happened during the month of July. Hello tank tops and trying to not let the boil scare anyone! After the 2nd one showed up, I went to the Dr and it was so bad that I had to take a antibiotic to kill it. The moral of the story is that you never put anything on your armpits that you didn't purchase. Sometimes the gift from God is a boil, not a free can of deodorant.
  7. Maia April 24, 2015 at 10:33 am #
    We have carpet beetles too! We moved here in December and I'd never heard of them, definitely thought they were bedbugs until I googled it. I know they are harmless but YUCK they freak me out. I clean like a maniac lately!!! If you figure out how to get rid of them without drowning your house in toxic chemicals please tell me!
    • Anonymous April 24, 2015 at 6:25 pm #
      Ditto! Ironically we don't find them on our few carpeted areas, it's more bathroom/windows. The only thing we had relative success with is cedar planks, but that's better for closets not entire rooms :/
  8. Amanda April 24, 2015 at 11:38 am #
    I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT FULLER HOUSE!!!!! I have been waiting for this since the very final episode of Full House, during which I cried. Probably a lot, since I was a freshman in high school and I'd grown up with that Tanners. Congrats on the removal of your armpit hair. *thumbs up* (I just second guessed myself whether armpit is one word or two) Ok. That hummus looks so smooth I thought it was mayo at first. I would be sticking my face in that bowl (hummus, not mayo). I'd lose my mind if I had those bugs in the house. We have ants now that spring is here and they are those little bitty black ants. They crawl all around in our kitchen sink and I'm so paranoid I may eat one. Your weekend sounds pretty solid to me! I love the way your blog posts flow. I feel like I "get you".
  9. Ashley April 24, 2015 at 1:24 pm #
    I'm totally grossed out and hungry all at the same time.
  10. Shereen Travels Cheap April 24, 2015 at 2:08 pm #
    LOL! I'm also really excited about the Full House spin-off. Can we just talk about DJ having a son named JD?! High-larious. Aaaaaand now I want hummus. Delish! Thanks for making my Fridays fun :)

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