Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRR ahhahahaha day.

fall leaves

Okay, I had these weird dreams that I absolutely need to tell you about.

Because then you can figure out what they mean and dream read me! Is “dream read” a thing?

Let’s start with three nights ago.

SO, Kevin Pearson from This Is Us was in it. Which didn’t suck. But! – he was mad at me. BECAUSE, he and this other girl gave me a pug dog to hold on to. But it wasn’t really a pug dog, you know. They called it a pug, but it didn’t look like a pug. It looked more like the Angel of Death.

We were in this big room with lots and lots of people, and cameras everywhere. Much like a studio. (probably because duh, I was in a kitchen studio every hour of last week shooting a food show.) But when they gave this non-pug pug dog, they said, “DON’T give it what it wants. Just ignore it. Otherwise, he’ll attack you. But here, hold on to him.”

And I was like, “Wa wa wa wa wa waiiiiit, but I don’t want to hold the dog if he’s going to attack me! What do you mean ‘don’t give him what he wants?’ What does that even mean? I’m clearly not equipped for this!”

They were like, “Just IGNORE the non-pug pug dog, and you’ll be fine. Here you go.”

So I put the non-pug pug dog on a table, then put my hands on the table next to my waist. And just as I was about to pull my right hand away, home fresh non-pug pug dog up and MAULED MY HAND. Kevin Pearson from This Is Us goes, “Ignore him! You’re paying too much attention to him! This is your fault!”

Dog was RIPPING MY HAND UP. And I was trying to stay so calm and not lose my ever loving ish all over everything ever in the world. I finally got it pulled away all mangled and grody. And then that girl and Kevin Pearson from This Is Us walked over to me, rolling their eyes all annoyed and said, “Why did you do that? We told you not to give him what he wants.”

And I go, “I DIDN’T GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS, WEIRD GIRL AND KEVIN PEARSON FROM THIS IS US. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. YOU GAVE ME A WILD CREATURE OF SATAN.”

Then I woke up.

What the hay, man?

And no, nothing like that even remotely happened on set last week in New York! Not one MOMENT was awful or stressful. So I have no clue where this is coming from.

DREAM READ ME.

New York City

Up next, last night’s dream. The one I woke up from literally hours ago. (Unless you read this post over the weekend, then it’s not literally hours. It’s literally a couple of days ago by then. Okay bye.)

So this one is daaaaark.

You’re like, “Why again did I click on her blog?”

Okay, three of us moms were stuck in this strange, slimy dark cave. But that’s not the weird part. First, I saw the movie poster version of us in this cave, and we were all standing in a circle, gasping downwards in horror, as we were being sucked down into HELL.

And IN THE CAVE, there was this machine that you got hooked up to that looked like bicycle gears. And the gears went up and down your back. They didn’t do any damage to your skin, though. Maybe they were supposed to? The way the movie poster made it look, this was supposed to be like, a torture room of sorts. But we were all down in this dark cave like, “Okay, now what? Are we supposed to crochet our way out?”

THEEEEN we tried to escape. And I got all the way out, guys. I climbed up the slimy cave walls, and went through airport customs (I dunno), then got on this GIANT black plastic slide and slid all the way down to the concrete. When two super tall and blond secret security men grabbed me and said, “Oh no ya don’t. You’re going back to the cave. TO ROT FOREVER.” And I was looking all around me at these other gals tearing up as I was being dragged off to the cave.

And then my alarm went off.

WHAT THE @#$%, man.

And no, I’ve not watched Handmaid’s Tale in weeks!

Was it the vintage Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory trailer I showed the the kids yesterday?

Or maybe the Macarena video we watched?

Or perhaps our current political climate swimming around in my head? (<—)

Maybe I just need a taco.

DREAM READ ME.

prop bowls for days

Okay, I’m changing the mood before you all call your therapists.

SPRINKLES!

FLOWERS!

GLITTER BABY RAINBOW CHINCHILLA PONIES!

So listen to this, and tell me if it’s a New York City thing.

I got free dessert every single night at dinner. Is that normal??? Really, every night after we wrapped, I’d walk the streets, single-lady style, and find a cozy spot to eat. I’d sit at the bar, have a fabulous glass of rosé, and nosh on something yummy. And EVERY SINGLE NIGHT THEY GAVE ME FREE DESSERT.

No one on set could even believe it.

Is that because I’m alone at the bar? Or is it a New York City thing? Or was it my heavy camera makeup? Either way, it didn’t suck.

And by the way, Claudette was unbelievable. I could have died there. (even though I didn’t see SJP.) I had the MOST incredible rosé called Chateau de Pampelonne, so if any of you know how to get it, um, holla.

Also, completely obsessed over Ferris. Mind blowingly cozy and sleek. Hart’s in Brooklyn was absolutely fantastic, too. Loved every single second.

So thaaaank you for your recs. I go back next month, so I’m gonna re-read your list and make my noshy plans early. I want to go to Antoni’s new restaurant, Village Den and stalk him! Wouldn’t that be amazing??? And then we could really be besties!

Never mind.

flowers and feet

“What’s your favorite animal, Mom?” – Will asks me yesterday morning before 6:30am and before the sun was out of bed.

“My favorite animal?”

Him, “Yes! But not Charlie. I mean ANIMAL animal.”

Uhhhhh, you guys. I don’t have a favorite animal. What does that say about me? I wanted to say birds, but I have a colossal conniption when one even gets near our back door and flaps around all willy nilly, so that’s out.

He goes, “You don’t like giraffes?”

“Of course I like giraffes, dude. I just never think about them.”

“You don’t like hippos??”

“Nope. Pass. Terrifying.”

“You don’t like elephants?”

“Are you kidding me? Nightmares.”

“You don’t like ducks?”

“Actually, no. Ducks are weird, too. I mean, I do like the green shiny head! But not on a wall. Wait, aren’t you late for school? Go get your sister. Brush your teeth. Make me breakfast. Do something.”

Do you have a favorite animal? Besides your pet? NO ONE HAS A FAVORITE ANIMAL UNLESS THEY’RE FIVE OR WORK AT A ZOO.

Tell me I’m not alone in this.

I’m alone in this.

…hello?

brooklyn wallpaper

Weekend plans?

It’s cooooold today. 48-ish cold. And drizzly! Which honestly, I’m totally diggin’. We got our chimney cleaned two days ago, so we’re having our first official fire tonight, with soup and a scary movie! And by scary I mean Casper. Or Willy Wonka.

OR ME IN A CAVE.

You’re worried about me, aren’t you?

DREAM READ ME.

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16 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Amy October 12, 2018 at 7:51 am #
    https://camillestyles.com/beauty-and-style/ask-the-experts/weirdest-dreams-really-mean/
  2. Kayle (The Cooking Actress) October 12, 2018 at 9:17 am #
    My fave animal is an African Elephant and I'm super passionate about it lol. In others news free dessert isn't a NY thing per se but guys giving free stuff to pretty girls is so I'm gonna say that was a major compliment! Lucky duck
  3. Michela October 12, 2018 at 9:41 am #
    No favorite animal? Weirdo! ( I said that nicely) Fennec Fox ...cute, cuddly, legal to own in some states. Dream Read: the no pug/pug dream makes me think you've been given a responsibility you cant or don't want to handle. The slime cave: you've been put into a situation you're uncomfortable with and even though you have a way out you're allowing yourself to be " thrown back" into the situation. Time to say NO to some people. I'm not a dream analyzer but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn last night! Happy Friday!
  4. Autumn October 12, 2018 at 10:20 am #
    BEV!!! yes you're alone! everyone has a favorite animal! Otherwise you sound like a horrible person that doesn't like animals! lololol I love so many but my 2 favs are Flamingo's and Goats! haha
  5. Carol Auger October 12, 2018 at 10:34 am #
    Per Google : ) Dog dreams often have to do with the basic instinct towards friendship, loyalty, and protection. ... Aggressive dogs in dreams have a variety of meanings depending on context. It could be that you or someone you know is being disloyal, that you have an inner conflict, or that someone in your life is untrustworthy... When one dreams of escaping they are focusing intently on trying to bring a more utilitarian perspective into their world. ... A dream which involves you escaping from death means that you have been feeling trapped, and that a positive end to a difficult situation is on its way. "In your case, you're being thrown right back in to try and escape again..."
  6. Emily Hambrick October 12, 2018 at 10:43 am #
    Have you seen that SNL Mom Animal sketch? Unfortunately I've become Elephant lady. AGAINST MY WILL! https://youtu.be/Y1-hOP30JnE
  7. CJ | A Well-Read Tart October 12, 2018 at 10:58 am #
    "Maybe I just need a taco." hahahaha. Love it. It must be the week of strange dreams. While I definitely go dark with my dreams (much darker than your cave dream, which, admittedly, is pretty freakin' dark!), these two this week were more amusing than anything else: Dream #1 that replayed all night long: I was trying to make a clafoutis for a blog post, but I couldn't remember which book review inspired me to make the blasted thing. Also, I don't even LIKE clafoutis. But, I woke up every hour yelling out, "Clafoutis! Clafoutis! FOR WHAT BOOK?!?!" My husband was not amused after the fourth shout-out. Dream #2: A friend's sister wrote a scholarly book psychoanalyzing the Jersey Shore cast. Said book proceeded to sell at Frankfurt Book Fair for $92,000. I woke up simultaneously in awe of and envious of friend's sister's fictional accomplishment. NO IDEA where these dreams came from. AND...I had tacos this week! So what gives?? Maybe we need pasta??
  8. Emily October 12, 2018 at 11:11 am #
    Fave animal- I have two. Horses and Tigers. Good luck with the dreams. I hate how when I remember those weird dreams they haunt me the rest of the day. And I feel like I didn't sleep well. I mean- get outta my mind dreams!! I just wanna rest. Enjoy the cozy fire and movie.another possible idea is the Lady Ghostbusters remake??? I haven't watched it yet, but my 5yo daughter turned it on via Amazon yesterday and I am intrigued. She probably shouldn't have been watching??? jury's out still on that... (but I didn't hear any naughty words!)
  9. Amanda October 12, 2018 at 11:47 am #
    I can't analyze your dreams, but I did have a dream about YOU! I am a teacher (librarian) and I was taking my class to our room, but it wasn't our room, it was your house. Except it was your house inside a mall type place (I guess it was supposed to be the school). You were there and said that you had left us some food but that you had to leave. So I look around and you had put food inside these giant stone things (maybe planters of some kind?) but they were shaped like dog bones and had lids on them. But they were huge! I knew the kids didn't have time to eat all that food so I went into your pantry looking for something else. All I remember messing with was a flour drawer. It was strange. Oh, and my favorite animal (other than dogs and cats) is horses!
    • Bev Weidner October 13, 2018 at 8:30 am #
      Hahaha! That is AWESOME. I love making appearances in others' cerebrum parties. :)
  10. Amber | Loves Food, Loves to Eat October 12, 2018 at 2:12 pm #
    Favorite animal: Cats! But if that doesn't count....Kangaroos! It all started years ago when I saw a Snapple facts commercial about how Kangaroos are born. Super fascinating... it's my favorite party topic lol. Follow the Kangaroo Sanctuary on IG and join me in this madness, it's so great!
  11. Sarahd October 12, 2018 at 5:10 pm #
    Favorite animal: sharks, great whites specifically! Dreams: I dunno but at least now you can kinda say you’ve been to hell and back! Lotta words like demon and satan and hell in those stories. And you escaped so that’s good news?
  12. Kori Good October 12, 2018 at 9:00 pm #
    So I’m afraid you’re alone in the no favorite animal area. Mine is the otter. They make the cutest noises AND THEY HOLD HANDS WHEN THEY SLEEP! It’s just so pure.
  13. Marysue October 13, 2018 at 8:41 am #
    Sorry Bev...we all have our fav animal. Mine is the Dragon. Yes, there were dragons. I really believe that. Ok...maybe not, so my favorite IN THIS WORLD animal is the wolf. Totally beautiful creatures. And yes, you need a taco. Or ten. Sorry I can’t help you on your dreams...you gave me nightmares. 🤣
  14. Stef October 15, 2018 at 6:45 am #
    I always love reading your posts, with the various questions and concerns you pose to us, and theeeen scrolling down to see which one stuck out the most to other readers in this lil community. I mean, the obvious one this time was the "tell me your fave animal." BUT the one that stuck out to me the most was the dessert thing! Because I grew up there, eating out a lot. so I can say with confidence. THAT"S WEIRD. I totally don't mean to creep you out (I think your dreams have you covered in that dept), but, someone bought them for you. Its the only way! Either that or the owner/manager found out you have something to do with the food network and wanted to give you a little extra something something to rave about? Either way, THAT"S WEIRD. And also, really lucky. You lucky duck.. with a shiny green head.
  15. Laura October 15, 2018 at 11:10 am #
    Tapirs, man. I didn't know they existed until I went to the zoo as an adult and found one sitting on its bum under a tree in the rain looking forlorn. Also, baby tapirs look like watermelons. Google it. You're welcome.

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