Friday Flotsam


snowy trees

I used to powder my armpits.

Like when I was in elementary school and junior high. Maybe even part of high school. I would powder my armpits. Like, before putting on deodorant. I powdered. With a giant white puff and a small cream plastic tub with a dainty light pink floral design around it. I powdered. And I remember there was a tiny round silk cloth between the powder and the puff. And you moved the cloth over to dip the puff into the powder. Then onto your pits. This is what I did.


I can’t remember when or why I stopped powdering my armpits. Was it my sophomore year in high school? Would would I stop then? Why am I not powdering anymore? Mom always said, “It helps the deodorant stay in place!” Did it, though? I don’t think so. And I certainly didn’t look like Grace Kelly seated in front of a giant, gold round vanity, all elegant and poised with my puffing. I definitely looked more like a DUST STORM IN ARIZONA.

And you know what, I don’t think it was any special armpit powder. I think it was regular baby powder. Was it regular baby powder? MOM?

When did women stop powderin’ their pits??

Did you powder your pits?

I want to powder my pits.

sunroom and plants

I polled this on my Instergram Stories the other day, but it’s a pressing issue that I have no choice but to carry it over to a more permanent platform. It’s something that weighs heavily on my heart, and we’d be doing a misjustice to our souls if we don’t address this formally.



You know I need this information to thrive.


The other day I was in the grocery store, and that old Martina McBride song from 2003 was on the loud speaker, “This One’s For the Girls.” It’s been yeaaars since I’ve heard that song. Matter of fact, the last time I heard it, I was the girl in the second verse, the “girl about twenty-five”. But this time, you guys. I was the girl in the THIRD VERSE. The “girl about forty-two.” And boy did my ears perk up. She’s singing about me! How fun! How did this verse go again?

“This is for all you girls about forty-two
Tossing pennies into the Fountain of Youth”

Giiiiiiiiirl I hear that.

“Every laugh, laugh line on your face”—

I’M SORRY WHAT. Are you saying I have laugh lines on my face, MARTINA? Where are they exactly? Just point to them. Oh super, why have I never thought about my laugh lines? Wrinkly forehead, saggy eyes, crepey neck, drooping jowls, sure sure. BUT NOW YOU GOTTA POINT OUT MY LAUGH LINES ARE YOU &$%^ING KIDDING ME?

“Made you who you are today.”ย 

I’m about to make a fist line in your face, MARTINA.

Anything else you want to point out? Want to make a verse about cankles? You already came this far, why go back?

This one’s for the girl who needs to SHUT UP.

hands and water and glass

Still haven’t figured out my sewing machine.

gremlins with bubbles

Weekend plans?

I’m shooting a lobster linguine for you today! (see how I can flip a switch to glee town? It’s a trait.) It’s going to be like, 57 degrees today and tomorrow, so I might try to be outside for more than half a second.

Also, I need to start a new show! Done with Maisel (SO WONDERFUL). Caught up on This Is Us (omggggggg). Done with everything. Tell me what to watch next! It better not have Martina McBride in it.

What are you having for dinner?


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27 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Hannah January 26, 2018 at 8:53 am #
    Grace and Frankie on Netflix. So good and so funny!
    • Nicole Gas January 26, 2018 at 10:04 am #
      YES. I love this show so, so much
  2. Dana January 26, 2018 at 9:09 am #
    The Crown is good. That poor monkey looks so depressed.
  3. Rebekah January 26, 2018 at 9:23 am #
    The Durrells in Corfu. So good!!!
  4. Nicole January 26, 2018 at 10:06 am #
    The Blacklist!!
  5. Tif January 26, 2018 at 10:10 am #
    Obsessed with The West Wing. Never once saw it when it was on NBC. I think I was too busy partying on Thursday nights :) Wait - was it on Thursday nights? Regardless, I watch 1 ep a night now and there are SEVEN SEASONS with 24 eps each. I won't need a new show until June!
  6. Rachel January 26, 2018 at 10:15 am #
    These Friday Flotsam posts always make me laugh! Have a great weekend.
  7. Tara January 26, 2018 at 10:19 am #
    Loved The Crown; Ozark is dark but very good; Orange is the New Black; and Grace and Frankie are all really good.
  8. Kiera Stachowiak January 26, 2018 at 10:57 am #
    The Good Place! I love me some Kristen Bell and Ted Dansen
  9. Angie January 26, 2018 at 11:43 am #
    I believe I'm a Leo and Claire person. But now I need to know the results of your poll!!
  10. Ashley January 26, 2018 at 11:45 am #
    Leo and Clare, always. I watched Romeo and Juliet during my formative years (my mom caught wind of the "racy" scenes in Titanic and I wasn't allowed to watch it) so Leo and Clare will always represent eternal love for me. When you sang the "kissing you" song in front of the aquarium on your stories the other day I almost choked on my coffee. Ozark and Sneaky Pete were both good. And Broadchurch is good in that British/BBC/cranky detective way.
  11. Jen Renee January 26, 2018 at 11:49 am #
    Iโ€™m watching The People v OJ Simpson. If itโ€™s my husband and I watching together, itโ€™s Peaky Blinders or Bloodline. Making slow cooker Coq au Vin. Happy Friday! ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“
  12. Nic G January 26, 2018 at 11:57 am #
    Leo and Claire, Romeo and Juliet was LIFE. It came out when I was 16. I have loved Leo since Growing Pains. Sigh, Leo.
  13. Ashle January 26, 2018 at 12:35 pm #
    I read once that Leo and Claire didn't get along IRL once and it seriously BROKE MY HEART. AND. Ruined it for me. I'm Leo and Kate. He's a great Jack. He is a heart stealing, daring, clever, eye opening, beer drinking American dream boat and that's that. Also, I can't get on board with G&F, but I will watch The Crown forty times over. My pits are powderless. I feel like that should be my closer.
  14. Alisha Mulkey January 26, 2018 at 1:55 pm #
    Ummm Breaking Bad?!?! I mean it's The Best!! Even though you Will want to punch Skyler (his wife) in the face during several seasons. What about Saul the spin off is pretty Good too!!
  15. Lesley January 26, 2018 at 2:14 pm #
    Man, I work out every day and still didn't finish Maisel as fast as you did - Mazel darling. That's only a 6 show mini series, but since you're a Handmaid's Tale fan and it's the same writer, have you done Alias Grace on Netflix? (or amazon? or netflix. omg need caffeine.) Either way, one of the best shows I've seen lately - the writing, the characters, all of it. SWELL DONE!
  16. Trisha Fugere January 26, 2018 at 3:30 pm #
    Definitely watch โ€œGodlessโ€ on Netflix. Western, but with very strong women! Itโ€™s short too! Only 7 episodes & 1 season!! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป
  17. Andrea Wimsatt January 26, 2018 at 4:53 pm #
    LEO & CLAIRE!!!
  18. Natalie January 26, 2018 at 5:54 pm #
    Ummm Outlanderrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Obsessed and completely dying and only 8 episodes into Season 1. Watch it. Like now. Like yesterday. Ok? Ok! You're welcome.
  19. Jenni M January 26, 2018 at 7:36 pm #
    Leo and anyone! My grandma had the exact powder dish in her fancy bathroom my entire childhood. We used to powder our cheeks with idea where she was powdering...๐Ÿค”
  20. Sandy January 27, 2018 at 6:27 am #
    I just watched Godless. Michelle Dockery from Dowton Abbey plays a verrry different role. Totally badass. Only seven episodes so you could binge watch this before the next Friday Flotsam edition.
  21. Kayleigh F January 27, 2018 at 10:49 am #
    The Crown!! So good. A lot of drama, nice dose of actual history, amazing story lines!!
  22. Susan January 28, 2018 at 2:35 pm #
    Leo and Claire!! That movie was life! Although I wanted to look like Rose for my prom. No clue about the powder thing... I don't think I wore deodorant very much in my teen years. I was a lazy garbage person. I recommend Mozart in the Jungle on Amazon Video! So good!
  23. Mary January 29, 2018 at 10:52 am #
    Godless, Ozark, Breaking Bad, Mindhunters, Weeds (did you ever watch that), The Good Place, Will and Grace (old and new).
  24. Emily aka The Three Bite Rule January 29, 2018 at 11:45 am #
    West Wing! It is so well written, and I've heard the length of the script being similar to Gilmore Girls in that there's so much dialog and it is so fast paced!
  25. Katsoucy January 29, 2018 at 4:52 pm #
    The Crown. Ozark and definitely Better Things if you have not checked that out already
  26. Katsoucy January 29, 2018 at 7:10 pm #
    Thought of another!...Search Party.....and Rosie Odonnel is amazing in SMILF

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