Friday Flotsam

FRIDay. I mean FriDAY. I mean FRIDAY. I mean Friday.

our frontyard Dogwood tree

Do you ever think about when you touch produce at the store, how that particular fruit or vegetable becomes yours IMMEDIATELY?

And I don’t mean like a pet, you weirdo.

I mean like, you touched it. People saw your grimey grubs touch it, and there’s no turning back. And the thing is, I know we’re supposed to approach this selection process in the completely different way! You touch each one. Examine it all over. What’s the ripest. What’s the juiciest. What’s the firmest, or softest. What has the best coloring all over.

I can’t do that. I have this strange internal paranoia, where if someone is hovering near me, about to pick out a red bell pepper for a stir fry on their menu that night, I panic, start sweating and grab the gnarliest one so I can just get out of their way.

Except avocados! I have ZERO qualms with man handling 35 avocados in order to find the perfect one. But that’s it. I can’t handle any other fruit or vegetable. I touch it. It’s mine. We were meant to be.

Unless I’m shopping WITH someone! This is a whole different scenario. I feel like if there’s a partner involved, I have less of a chance of being accused of spreading germs all over the harvest and ending up in produce prison. I have someone there who could back me, man.

“We were making sure it was the ripest melon, sir!”

“It’s for a photo shoot, officer!”

“We meant no harm, sir!”

These are the things I think about.

Bucket.

Have you ever noticed how the word bucket makes every single thing sound disgusting?

Think about this. Fish bucket. Chicken bucket. Shrimp bucket. Add the word bucket to the end of ANYTHING and it’s immediately trashed up for good.

Bean burrito bucket.

Spaghetti bucket.

Chicken salad bucket.

“And for our special tonight, we have the pan-seared whole dover sole, with a meunière sauce, lemon, parsley, yukon potato and fresh haricot vert bucket.”

NO THANKS.

“Ohhhh, I think I’ll try the lightly smoked duck breast with the port wine reduction and the pea and spring ramp risotto bucket.”

I’M SORRY?

This has been one of Aaron’s and my favorite running jokes for years and years. Now it can be yours! All yours!

p.s. Tiramisu bucket.

Dining at Cafe Provence

Oh! If you live in Kansas City, and want to snag a sitter on April 27th and come drank some dranks and ate some ates with meh, you should totally enter my little local Facebook giveaway. I’m partnering with Harvesters this year, and their first big event of the season is Forks and Corks, where they sample tons of local gourmet restaurants and cocktails and wine. (oh my?) It’s going to be a m a z i n g. And it’s for a good cause.

You know.

You should come! I promise I won’t make too big an idiot of myself. Maybe.

Forks and Corks KC

Alsoooo, if you’re into grilled cheese month (or grill cheeses in general) (or cheesy melts of any kind) (which obviously you are) (if you’re not Aaron), I’ve got a new post on Wisconsin Talk! It’s a Ham, Turkey and Swiss Melt (bucket), and it’s straight insanity. (it’s got pickles shoved in it.) (like, in the melt itself.) (I’ve gone deliciously loco.) (goodbye forever.)

Sandals and fish

Weekend plans?

The house painting is almost done! It looks STUNNING. Today the pergola gets a fresh coat, along with the front and back doors. Shutters will go back up, and Aaron will build new window boxes this weekend. But now of course I’m like, WE NEED NEW HOUSE NUMBERS. Where do you buy house numbers? I mean, besides Lowe’s and Home Depot. Is there a cool number (bucket) shop that I need to know about? You know I count on you for things like this in my life.

Other than that, we’ll work on getting the garden (bucket) in place, and Easter our faces off on Sunday.

Oh! I started Love, on Netflix. Only one episode in and I’m like WA-HOWZA. Wanna watch it with me?!

p.s. beef stroganoff bucket.

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17 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Liz April 14, 2017 at 8:45 am #

    House numbers –> Etsy. For example:

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/228852952/custom-address-plaque-made-from?ref=market

    Also, Amazon has house numbers galore. I’m all about that Prime, too. Hope this helps!

  2. Anonymous April 14, 2017 at 10:18 am #

    I have ordered the above Etsy reclaimed wood house numbers a few years ago and love them.

  3. Kimberly April 14, 2017 at 10:30 am #

    Whenever someone in our family had the stomach flu my dad would get out the ‘barf bucket’ so…..yeah.

    • theotherjennifer April 14, 2017 at 11:17 am #

      and it was literally a bucket from the garage. #gross

  4. Lisa April 14, 2017 at 10:42 am #

    Signature hardware and Rejuvenation.com has nice ones. House numbers that is.

    No buckets unless it’s filled with margaritas, then I might approve.

    • Lisa April 14, 2017 at 10:43 am #

      HAVE nice ones. My trigger finger is quick today.

    • theotherjennifer April 14, 2017 at 11:18 am #

      pretty sure Aaron could replicate that Rejuvenation one, that’s cool.

      • theotherjennifer April 14, 2017 at 11:18 am #

        sorry, the Etsy one #Friday

  5. Laurie April 14, 2017 at 2:35 pm #

    You may have turned me off of beef stroganoff forever!

  6. Theresa April 14, 2017 at 10:04 pm #

    Restoration hardware used to have them. Also, would you please post a picture of your window boxes when they are done? I want to get some this year. As usual, I can’t make up my mind on which ones.

  7. Sarah April 14, 2017 at 10:22 pm #

    Beef Strogenoff Bucket is the worst I think…I mean it isn’t too appealing in generally…not alone in a bucket!!!

    I am totally going to watch LOVE on Netflix…I have a trip coming up in two weeks, so think might be a golden opportunity to watch Netflix in air for 13 hrs.

    That’s if I can…….honestly I never really check to see if I can get internet on the plane…I’m never on them long enough to care.

    Except when I hear 13 hours…

  8. Mo April 15, 2017 at 3:49 pm #

    Agree Etsy for unique numbers. Also this place had interesting choices (I was needing arts & crafts numbers): https://www.modernhousenumbers.com/collections/numbers-and-letters

  9. Rachele April 16, 2017 at 6:02 am #

    You forgot Charlie Bucket. 😂

    I always hoped that he’d have to change his name to Wonka once he inherited the chocolate factory.

  10. soph April 19, 2017 at 1:36 am #

    We have the same thing with “juice” in our house. If it’s not after a fruit or vegetable, it’s disgusting. Eye juice. Dog juice. Floor juice. Leg juice. I’ll stop.

  11. Melissa April 19, 2017 at 11:34 am #

    I have yet to hear a word that would put me off of Tiramisu…although bucket is close…I KIDDDD…bring it.

  12. Klara Donovan April 20, 2017 at 8:58 am #

    Cupcake bucket. Fluff bucket. I don’t know, cuter words seem to be slightly more appealing in bucket form maybe? Maybe I just really strangely like the sound of fluff bucket and maybe I’m going to start using it as a term of endearment for my husband now. You’ll never know.
    Also, I am the opposite end of the fruit squeezing scale. I squeeze away guilt-free. My son bit into a red capsicum that I had pain stakingly selected and I totally considered putting it back, bite marks and all, and getting a nice fresh one. I would never, of course. But I had the thought.

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