FeeeeeeeeeeeeRILLY DEE DO DAY. I’m warning you now, today’s Flotsam is basically one Herculean poll. I mean, POOOOOOLLLLLLLL-ah! It’s what I do leave me alone. First up! Curling iron or a curing wand? I’ve always used a curling iron. A one-inch Conair from the ’80s. But it seems like KIDS THESE DAYS are more into […]
FRI (black) DAY. You guys, THE SAUERKRAUT. Wait, have I even talked about it on here? Surely I have. Have I? Oh my gosh, I don’t think I have. Have I? I’m suuure I have. Wait, have I? So, I made homemade sauerkraut for Thanksgiving yesterday, and I have to say: total success! I’ve been […]
friday YADIRF friday YADIRF friday YADIRF friday YADIRF friday YADIRF. I had to double check that like thrice to make sure everything was spelled right. And of course nothing was. POLL: Do you use your bath mat strictly as a bath mat, OR an area rug? Meaning, do you drape it over the tub edge […]
Friday. !!!!!! ……. !!!!!!!! . ! I’d like to openly and shamelessly admit something to the world right now. I may lose readers, but that’s okay. I may lose friends, but I just have to stand up for myself right now. I might even lose FAMILY, but this is a risk I’m willing to take. […]
FWIDAY. WHAT BWINGS US. TUGEVAAA. TODAAAY. Look. I’m going to go ahead and address the tomato in the room. (name that show) I know it’s on everyone’s minds, I can sense it. But no one wants to be the one to ask the burning question. But I’ll ask. I’m not afraid. WHERE IS NEW GIRL? […]
FRIDAY! And not only that- HALLOWEEN WEEKEEEND. (not even sorry to scream) I cannot deal with dry cleaning. Any tag that says “dry clean only,” I’m like PASS. Actually, remember Mitch Hedberg’s old bit about dry clean only? “This shirt is dry clean only. Which means . . . it’s dirty.” Hahahah! My life. I […]
Warning: the following post contains approximately 2895736134 photos of feet. Not bare feet! Oh gosh no. But like, shoes. Ugh. These things can’t be helped. Also, I’m starting to feel like these flaaaaawless crispy fall weekends are only but a few left. WAH. How does it all happen so fast? Where does the time go?! […]
friday !!!!!!! Can we talk about garlic cloves for a second? Not like, the flavor or anything, but the actual clove size, and the b.s. morphing of shrivelment that occurs over a short amount of time. I always think about asking you about this when I’m IN the kitchen, frustrated as pathetic slivers of wimpy […]
Or as Natalie calls it, APPOOOOOOL. That’s the way she says apple, you guys. Do you think I should call a doctor? The police? Before we even get into this, can we just look at last year’s photo for one second? Because I need yet another reason to set my ovaries on fire. DO YOU […]
f R I D A y. I almost skipped Flotsam this week. My alarm went off this morning at booty:30 and I was like, really? Do I have to? I think I’ll stay in bed. I don’t really have anything to say. They wouldn’t even notice! But unfortunately my […]
