FREEDER. I have a weird question. (you’re like, OH SHOCKER.) You know how in Instagram Stories, a lot of the responses to a thread are hearts? The heart emoji? I have a theory. IT’S AN ACCIDENT. Hear me out! A) The heart is so out of place. It’s not closure to a conversation like, “Dawson […]
FR fr ID id AY ah. I mean ay. RIDDLE ME THIS. Let’s say you’re reading your gremlin a book. And the title of the book is the same strand of words as the first page of the book. And maybe even that random page in the beginning that’s not the COVER and not the […]
FRIdillydoodadAY. I forgot to tell you the craziest story! Like, crazy. It all happened long ago on the muggy afternoon of August 23rd, 1976. Wait, that’s something else. It was Father’s Day eve, 2017. A mere three weeks ago. Um, do you remember how hot it was?! Remember how I (adorably?) updated you every other […]
FraHAHAHHAHAHAHiday. So I’m digging Glossier! I’m totally into my little Phase 2 Starter Kit purchase thingy. I CAN’T DECIDE (you’re going to get super mad at me) what I think of Boy Brow. Only because I think I need someone to guide me. Remember my eyebrows are like tiny horse hair pube brooms, so they […]
FROODOO. Tell me about your VERY FIRST JOB. (I’m just launching right in.) I think first jobs are weird. You know on the application when it says, “Must have at least one year of experience – blah blah blah.” And you’re like, “But I’m coming to you so I can GET the experience, ya boob.” […]
FriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiLLELUJAH. I need help. DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. My coffee grinder just went on the fritz. (not to be confused with, my coffee grinder is puttin’ on the ritz.) It died on me this week! And we’d only had it for six months. What GIVES, grinder. I think it’s my fault. (you’re like, […]
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF roodoo. I want to get more into nightgowns. WHOA, DID YOU NOTICE I DIDN’T SCREAM THAT AT YOU? oh. But really, nightgowns! I wanna get into them. Not like Medicine Quinn Woman. Or Frederick’s of Hollywood. Or Frozen. But like, chill-lady gal nightgowns. Is this already uncomfortable for you? I usually wear sleep pants […]
FAAAAAAAA reh deh. LET’S PLAY A GAME. You’re like, “Let’s not and say we did.” No, listen. My friends and I have played this game for years, and it’s sort of my favorite thing in the world. And I want to see if you get a gas out of it (not to be confused with […]
FREEEDEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. We’re having our first backyard movie night of the year next weekend! You know what I just realized? How much I rely on emojis. Isn’t it crazy what those little images have done to our lives?! The communicative impact that a single image of a sun or a movie projector or a leaf or […]
friDAY. FRIday. FRIDAY. friday. Listen to this dream I JUST HAD 20 minutes ago. You’re like, “Not with the dreams agaaaain.” So I was at some big market thing. But it wasn’t just food. It was everything. Shops, restaurants, everything. Everything. (<–just kidding about saying everything 230 times in a row.) I think it was […]
