FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRidee. Wanna hear the craziest story? *I* thought it was the craziest story when it happened. And then I told Natalie and I was like, “Wasn’t that the craziest story?” and she said, “Yep.” So that makes it thee craziest story. Want to hear it? Okay, because it’s so crazy. A week ago I hopped […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRoobydooby. Day? Day. What are those little things that expand in your mouth and cut through your gums at the dentist when you’re getting x-rays? They’re like, little plastic cards that slice into your gums while you bite down on them in screeching pain while the machine clicks around your head. Remember those? What are […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRaeiouday! The other day Will asked me, “Mom, do ghosts have udders?” and I just feel like that needs to be right here, opening this blog post, for the world to see. Let’s take a moment to appreciate that question. Do ghosts have udders? I didn’t even answer him. I just looked at him, hugged […]
FFFFFFFerder. Want to know what I love most about a court trial? THE SKETCHES. Who made that up, you think? It’s not because cameras aren’t allowed because we’ve all binged true crime documentaries like unhinged nutcases. Listen, you can’t have a legit trial without a solid courtroom sketch artist. I remember being somewhat curious about […]
FFFFFFFFFFFFFroopy doopy. So we all picked up on Taylor’s secret message in that long note she left on Instagram yesterday, right? APRIL NINTH. Dude you should have seen me the moment I saw that first rando capital letter in the middle of her first sentence. “This is a secret message, Aaron! I know she does […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRReederleedee. When was the last time you peed your pants in public? Perhaps that’s not as solid a start as it was in my head. Maybe it would help if I remind you of the time I peed my pants in public. Yes, this is an actual blog post I’m writing in real life. Maybe […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRReh! Deh! Don’t we feel like Swift’s gonna release another Long Pond Studio Sesh Thingy on Disney + any day now? But with Evermore? I feel like it’s coming. Don’t you feel like it’s coming? It’s coming, I can feel it. Because she keeps releasing all these little EPs every few days, and I JUST […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRillylillyloo. You want to know something that makes me crazy? (you’re like, you mean besides everything?) In movies (and tell me if you’re the same), when someone receives or delivers a bouquet of flowers, and things don’t go quite as planned, and the FLOWERS ARE THE ONES TO PAY. Gettin’ thrown and dumped and trashed […]
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffrome on doooooown! (<–can’t believe it took me that long.) Who is Allen? And – who is this Phillip? And more critically, what makes them think they just go around naming wrenches and screwdrivers? Are they buddies? Because if you name a tool after yourself, you’re definitely not “friends,” you’re “buddies”. Do you think Allen […]
FrrrrrrrrooooooaaaahhhI had to brush off the dust in here! Hi hi! Proofing bowls. (just jumping right in.) Do I neeeeeed one? And also, do you call it a proofing bowl or a proofing basket? It looks baskety, but in a bowl shape. And I do not want to get this wrong with my bread heads. […]
