FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFooloosoo! So let me get this straight: peanut butter on a burger? We’re not talking about frozen slices here, are we? (<–see, I can make jokes, too.) But really, peanut butter? On a BURGER? What is this nonsense? Is this something people actually do? Do you do this? Am I missing out on something delicious […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR eyerayday! We went to the fair and you’re getting my leftover photos. Ha! You know how IG will only let you post 10 photos in a carousel? Right, these aren’t them. They’re the leftovers. The flotsam! I see what I did there. OKAY, can we talk about spray tans? I thiiiiink I’d like to […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRumidydumday! I (finally) watched the Friends Reunion special last night and I LOVED IT. LOOOOOOOOVED IT. l.o.v.e.d.i.t. It was just lovely. I watched it over at my friends’ Seth and Ashlee’s house because they have HBO Max and we don’t. It’s like that friend in the late ’80s who had MTV and your parents didn’t […]
June! And it’s like, chilly. I know it’s all about to dramatically change, but it’s the coldest start to summer! Ever! You, too? So weird, right? Right. I know. So weird. This mixtape! Look, it’s not exactly “summery.” I have summery mixtapes on my site, for sure. Like this one. Or this one. Ooooo this […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRi-uh-de-uh! Who’s your favorite night show host? OR RATHER – who’s your biggest night show host crush? And if you say Jimmy Kimmel we definitely have work to do. I’ll start! CONAN. Yes, Conan O’Brien. My crushness knows no end with Conan. He’s tall, he’s self deprecating, his nasally voice is perfect, he’s stylish (but […]
FRRRRRRROH! DOH! Do you shower in a shower cap? Are shower caps even around still? Are we into shower caps? Because you know how I only wash my hair every other quarter. Well clearly this puts me in the market for a SHOWER.CAP. because my bangs get wet (more like a mix between damp and […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRahduh! Have you ever stripped your laundry? STRIPPED your laundry. That is what I typed just now. Have you ever stripped your laundry? It’s very different from just doing laundry. I had no idea. My friend Sarah stripped her sheets last week in her bathtub and all this grime came out, man. And that’s after […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRReedoomeeloopeepooreerooneenoo. My toothbrush sounds like Lin-Manuel Miranda in Hamilton. You’re like, “okay I’m getting coffee for this one.” It does! It does, though. It’s an electric toothbrush (is that the word? electric? feels weird.) and sometimes when I’m moving from tooth to tooth it will vibrate in such a way that creates this buzzing sound […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRimuh! I mean day. Can you hear radio broadcasts in teeth fillings? You know, like when one “feels a storm brewin’” in their knee joints or their shoulder pins. Is it the same? I’m reading All The Light We Cannot See (first of all, I can already tell it’s going to be one of the […]
FRRRRRRRRRRoodyoodyoody! I’ve come to know something about myself lately. And I can’t decide if it’s attitude or age or the general handout of life drama. You tell me. These days, anytime someone says to me, “You know so and so, right?” My immediate response is, “Yes, why, is he dead?” Everyone is immediately dead before […]
