Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr r r r r rrrr r r r r r r r rr ………..!

Have you ever peed in your dream and in actuality you’re peeing in your bed?

This isn’t about a blog post about me peeing in my bed.

(yet)

But guess what I DID do in my sleep. Just guess. I’ll tell you, I spit on myself!

I SPIT ON MYSELF. On my arms. In my dream and in reality. I split on my freaking arms. This week! Just a few nights ago.

What happened was, in my dream this huge scary dog bit my index finger. And it hurt so horribly I screamed and screamed and screamed. And then the dog turned into an ENORMOUS slab of raw meat and tumbled into the street. And that COLOSSAL piece of dog meat turned into an office building (but it was still raw meat. a meat office), and all these doors appeared and people ran out and slid down the raw meat siding. And it made me barf in my dream because it was horrifyingly disgusting.

And you know how when you barf in real life you spit afterwards? Like, to get it all out or something? I spit in my dream. And in real life. I spit on my arms.

Hey, at least I didn’t barf in my bed. I’m calling this a success story.

You’re gone, aren’t you?

POLL:

When people say to you, “I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. Which do you want first?” – what do you say?

What do people typically say? We want the bad first, right? Because after the bad news the good news is the soother. The ledge talker-downer.

Or do we want the good first so that we’re emotionally anchored for the bad? I cannot remember the appropriate knee-jerk response. Or if there even is one.

What do you say? Good news or bad news? . . . Because I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. Which do you want first?

Ha, just kidding.

BUT HOW DID YOU EMOTIONALLY ANSWER THAT?

Tell me your summer movies! I know we probably talked about this last year, but I need a solid refresher.

Do you have a standard list of movies you must watch each summer?

We’ve already watched The Sandlot. Always so good. We have yet to watch Rear Window, Wet Hot American Summer, Goonies and Raising Arizona.

What are more summer classics?! What should our OUTDOOR MOVIE be?

Oh oh – Top Gun: must make it happen or pass immediately?

A few updates:

The Winona pants. I’m returning for a smaller size. In theory they’re cute stuff, but I feel like the new size will still be off. I’ll keep you posted as I know you’re on the edge of your seat about this.

Books: I’m about halfway through All The Missing Girls, and I like it! It’s told backwards, which I keep having to remind myself because I’m constantly like, “Well wait, you already know this! Wait, you don’t know this yet.” I’ll finish this weekend. And yes, you better BELIEVE The Hotel Nantucket is getting delivered in four days. Have you read it?

Is it good news or bad news? Ha! Never mind.

Weekend plans?

Nat has a surprise sleepover tonight with two besties and I’ve been keeping this a secret since APRIL and it’s killing me. I have to somehow pack her bag today when she’s not looking and drive her over to her little friend’s house (the two little girls have this whole bakery-front-scheme, it’s adorable) without suspicion and I can barely keep it together. Few more hours, I can do this! I’ll sure as sam hell document it because you’re all going to need to see if I can pull this off successfully. I am, after all, a woman who spits on herself in the night, so.

From this week, in case you missed it::: Bowtie Pasta with Italian Sausage and Spinach! A classic. A never fail. And also, this Summer Corn and Cucumber Salad! The first of many side dishes coming your way this summer. Please just get in both, stat.

Prairie Village Art Fair this weekend! Who’s going?

Also, who here feels like some skin care links this weekend? You in the back? I got you.