Fly Me to the Moo. (Our Trip to Shatto Farm!)

Or a more accurate title – “My Kids Are Freaks and Hate Cows.”

IT WAS ALL GOING TO BE SO PERFECT, YOU KNOW.

Cows, kids, milk, ice cream. Right?

Epic farm scenery, flawless weather with friends, a sniff of cheese and a stroll through the facility. RIGHT?

But then I forgot how massive cows actually are in real life. Pair that with the fact that my gremlins are both colossal sissies and had a conniption at the first sight of a cow and IT WAS OVER.

But you’re here! So let’s look at some cows.

As you may remember, I’ve been partnering with Shatto Milk this summer, experiencing their weekly MILKMAN DELIVERY. I still can’t believe I have a milkman. What is this life?

I figured, if I’m going to have a milkman, I need to meet the cows. And pet them and call them Frank.

So last Saturday we took the scenic one-hour drive north to the Shatto Farm, met with Matt Shatto himself, took a tour of the quaint farm facilities, mingled with the family staff, nibbled on cheese and spilled some milk. LITERALLY DROPPED A GLASS OF MILK OUT OF MY BACKPACK.

But I didn’t cry over it.

First up! We milked. And if you followed this, ahem – journey on my Stories, then I’d like to apologize for the up close and personal view of all the udders. There were so many udders, you guys.

So. many. udders.

I attached those blue and yellow sucky tube thingies to the udders! With my bare hands. But they had sanitizer, so it’s cool.

If I remember correctly, they have around 200 cows, and they milk ’em twice a day. There’s a day crew, and a night crew, and they just churn churn churn that milk right on out of those happy, relieved cows.

(are we okay?)

OH SURE, you’ll sit out here on a darling porch swing, sipping flavored milk while mama does all the hard work. I SEE HOW IT IS.

So then we went to see the baby cows. Which I’m positive my spawn would have loved, if they weren’t paralyzed with fear 483 meters away.

This dude was hungry. I was like, “HEY WATCH IT, THIS IS MY GOOD SHIRT FROM . . . target.”

Then we went to see more cows. (I keep typing cowls. What are cowls? What is this word and why won’t it leave me alone?)

The incredible (and mind-easing) thing about this farm is that the cows roam free! They have total access to grass, hay, some dirt patches, bugs, all that good outdoorsy farm stuff. But then they also have this huge ventilated barn that they go in for more hay, cooler temps, and some more dirt patches.

But of course my kids wouldn’t be interested in that AT ALL, would they.

Scaredy cats.

Buh bye.

L8ter Sk8ter.

MMMMMMMMoo.

Baby Frankee wasn’t scared.

Actually, this was about as close as I got to one of their heads. Maybe the kids get it from me?

BE CAREFUL HOW YOU ANSWER THAT.

Here they are, 856 meters away from all things huge with black and white spots.

So then we went on a factory tour! And of course I sang the Laverne and Shirley theme song at a semi-obnoxious decibel the entire time and didn’t annoy anyone at all. True story.

We also stepped into their cooler rooms. GET THIS. Back in the day, they had one tiny cooler room to hold all their milk. And then they expanded over the years and had to add more rooms. That was way more impressive in my head.

Did you know Shatto makes CHEESE? Yes siree Bob. They have this cheese cellar already in place, totally filled to capacity. But they ALSO have this crazy Blair Witch cave thingy with a slanted concrete entrance right there on the farm that they’re going turn into their cheese cave.

CHEESE CAVE.

I like those two words back to back.

After that, we took a tractor ride! And would you believe this was the one time Will basically death sprinted his way to the front of the line?

Dude loves himself a good tractor.

I do, too. Except for the whole climbing on a huge tractor part.

#dadlife

After that, it was time for ice cream!

OH SURE. NOOOOW YOU’RE INTERESTED IN FARM LIFE.

Shatto has this darling little Country Store at the main entrance, complete with merch, kitchen goodies, cheese samples, milk samples (check out the eclipse milk! I’m scared.), and a full-on vintage-y drug store-style soda fountain. They really have everything. Whatever fits your mooooooo-d. (<–just love.)

Aaron and I tried the caramel sea salt (INSANE), while the kids inhaled their tried and true chocolate.

WAIT, is that an actual smile on Will’s face? WHAT IS THIS HAPPINESS THING I AM SEEING.

Oh right, ice cream.

While small, the Shatto farm is simply oozing with charm. Everyone is SO FRIENDLY AND HAPPY. (because hi, buttercheeseandicecream.)

There’s nothing like watching a local family business start on a micro level, and watch it become something so nationally respected. The people, the cows, the farm, the process, the product – it’s all comfort.

I TOLD MYSELF I WASN’T GOING TO CRY.

Nooooow for the discount part of the post!

If you remember from my last blab sesh about the Shatto Home Delivery (A.K.A. MILKMAN.), I’m still offering a promo code for anyone living in the Kansas City area.

When you sign up, just use “bevcooks” at checkout and you’ll get $15 off your first order of $30 or more!

Easy as mooooooo-n pie.

Thank you, Shatto Farms for having my sissy children out to visit! The whole experience was just so moooooooo-ving. I mean, it’s not everyday you get to schmoooooooo-ze with Matt Shatto.

I’m done.

Bye bye.

Moo.