Friday Flotsam


I need to admit something here in this safe space.

Here goes…

I have a hard time with dish detergent. Not with it personally! It’s me, not it. But I’m here to say, there are like three loads of dishes during the duration (was that redundant?) of the lifespan of the box that I can successfully manage to get the powder out of the box and into the little cuppie with the slide lid with minimal awkwardness and without feeling like I’m going to drop and/or topple and/or lose my grip of it completely.

Why is that box so stupid!

Maybe this is personal.

First of all, it always makes my teeth hurt trying to slide my fingernail into that triangular aluminum trap door on the side to open the blasted thing. Then the powder pouring in itself is always a complete disaster. You have to wiggle the box just right so that something comes out. And of course nothing comes out. THEN EVERYTHING COMES OUT. Then I can’t shut the gray plastic slide trap door on top of the cuppie thing because too much powder has clotted that entire area and this is why curse words were invented.

And don’t tell me to buy pods. I cannot with pods. Anytime I’ve used a pod, it’s the same but different issue. The gray plastic slide thing won’t shut because the pod is too big. And then once it does shut, it either never opens during the washing cycle because the little sonofabiiibwo3irus is STUCK in there. Or if the slide door does open, the pod is like, torn. Nothing is out. There’s a weak dribble of the blue gel pooled at the bottom, but the powder part is hard as a rock.

What do you use? Is there a way out of this darkness? Thanks for being there for me.

YOU GUYS, the other day I was responding to some Instagram DMs and I accidentally pressed video call to a complete stranger. VIDEO CALL! What on earth! Why is this an option?

I cannot tell you the PANIC that shot through me like a frozen fire. Why is it that in those moments your brain and hand functions go straight dead and you forget how to move or be a human? And the stress of the ringing sound. Oh, that horrific ringing. PLEASE DON’T ANSWER HOW DO I STOP THIS.

And you know, it’s one thing to accidentally call a total stranger without reason and not know how to end the call because you just morphed into a toddler zombie. But the main stress is the angle!

The chin angle! Because you can’t bring the phone up to a flattering angle in that moment because again, you’re not human any longer. And if you were able to bring the phone up to that angle it would appear that you MEANT TO CALL THEM. THAT YOU WERE READY FOR THIS. What psycho even does that?! No. Nononono. But the flip side of the horror is that if they do answer (oh no), all thirteen chins are right there, waiting to explain what happened.

What happened to the call I made? I threw my phone in the toilet. We’re fine now.

Also, while I’m riled up, women’s rights forever. Full stop.

No man ever EVER has a right to govern this. The end.

Quick book update!:

I’m about about about to finish The Maid (super cute! Think: Eleanor Oliphant placed in a sinister murdery situation at a hotel.) I have just a few pages left, and then will save Elin’s Beautiful Day for the road trip tomorrow. I’ve heard it’s not her best work, but it’s Elin and I don’t care. I need a scandalous, summery beach read STAT. We’ve had rain and cold for a week straight (IN MAY) and I’m about to scream for the sun.

What are you reading?!

Weekend plans?

We’re headed to Rosemary Beach tomorrow! (hence the road trip) My bestie Sarah and fam go every year, so this year we’re finally tagging along to see what all the fuss is about. Speaking of, I posted a bunch of fun beach links in my stories (and saved them to a highlight!) if you need any summer inspo this year. (I’ve never been a fan of “inspo” yet I type it thrice a minute.)

From this week!:: Your MIXTAPE. A musical summer dream. Your ears and soul will thank you. And Crispy Chicken with Asparagus and Israeli Couscous! Honestly, a springboard for so much creative warm-weather grub. Yew best git in that.

Okay I need your horror stories – have you ever butt video dialed A STRANGER? omg.

, ,

19 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Nancy May 6, 2022 at 7:57 am #
    Don't they make a gel that goes in the dishwasher? I have no idea because my dishwasher hasn't worked since I bought my house. So I hand wash everything. You could do that and it would solve your problem :). I really don't mind doing it once I get in the mood; it's almost a weird meditation type thing. Never mind......I hope you have a great vacation!
  2. Peekiesmom May 6, 2022 at 8:03 am #
    Thank you for including those three very true and important sentences about women’s rights. It’s really time for men to bow out of this conversation and stay in their lane.
    • Bev Weidner May 6, 2022 at 8:19 am #
      AGREED. I have so much I could say, but we've heard it all before. All the memes, all the points, all the quotes, yes yes yes. Men have zero place in this.
  3. Emily May 6, 2022 at 8:38 am #
    I buy this on Amazon. It’s a scoop! I also hate the pods! Grab Green Automatic Dishwashing Detergent Powder 3.17 lbs, 80 Loads, Fragrance Free, Plant and Mineral Based, Superior Cleaning, Powerful Grease Removal, Brilliant Shine
  4. Jill May 6, 2022 at 8:46 am #
    Use the Cascade Complete gel… Never an issue and it works great!! 😊
  5. Renae May 6, 2022 at 8:51 am #
    Throw the pods in the bottom of the machine…it works the same!!
  6. Shannon May 6, 2022 at 9:17 am #
    You need to throw the pod right into the bottom of the dishwasher- don't even worry about putting it into the compartment!
  7. Maria May 6, 2022 at 9:18 am #
    Oh my gosh, so much to say on this - I hate pods, too - try the liquid. I would LOVE if I received an accidental call from you, especially if it was in the afternoon & we sipped wine while we chatted :) Don’t get me started on the women’s rights - I so do not understand why we would move backwards or why it is anyone’s business what happens in the room of any patient and their doctor. Rosemary Beach is a fun vacation - especially now, it shouldn’t be too crowded. Have a great time & I hope the weather cooperates. About to start The Change & super excited - heard it was good. Just finished Lessons in Chemistry which was great!
  8. Caitlin May 6, 2022 at 9:31 am #
    The teeth hurting when you put your nail under the spout thing had me lolololol! 😂😂 I thought that was just me! It’s such a struggle. And I have some friends who dump in into a jar for storage and then use a little scoop to scoop out each portion?? It gives me anxiety too though- what if I drip some water in there and it’s all ruined??
  9. Mary May 6, 2022 at 9:37 am #
    So timely, as my dw gray thingy has suddenly stopped opening during the wash cycle. Have a great weekend!
  10. Susie May 6, 2022 at 9:56 am #
    I keep powdered dishwasher detergent in a small mason jar. Easier to manage.
  11. Heather May 6, 2022 at 10:17 am #
    Gel dishwasher soap forever!!! No powder, no stuck doors, just clean dishes. Yes, it might be more expensive, but it's not if you actually get clean dishes the first time!!!
  12. Nicole May 6, 2022 at 10:18 am #
    You could try buying a pretty, larger jar from somewhere like homegoods or whatever, and just rip the box of detergent open and dump it all in the jar? Buy a little scoop too so that you just scoop and go.
  13. Courtney May 6, 2022 at 11:39 am #
    Try the pods from soap station. They dissolve so much better than cascade and the like. And you don’t have all the packaging. They wash the best of anything we have tried.
  14. Joanne May 6, 2022 at 1:05 pm #
    I use all natural pods in our dishwasher and they seem to be smaller than Cascade pods so it isn't as hard to shut the dispenser door.
  15. Kyra Strachan May 6, 2022 at 1:39 pm #
    Currently reading The House on the Cerulean Sea and it’s so cute and funny so far! Think Dr. Seuss meets OG Willy Wonka meets Jim Carry (???) idk if that did it justice but man is it good so far.
  16. Laura Lee May 6, 2022 at 2:48 pm #
    I'm surprised you don't decant the box of dishwasher soap into a nice container and use a scoop...isn't that sort of your thing lady? I have a good accidental call story. I was scrolling through my contacts and somehow hit the call button for my in-laws in Ireland. My MIL answered and I said "oh hi! It's Laura Lee, I accidentally dialed you, but how are you?!" She said "I'm sorry, who's this" I said "it's your daughter-in-law Laura Lee" . She said "No, you must have the wrong number" and went to hang up! 😳 Obviously we're VERY close! I feel so loved🤣 My next statement if she didn't cop on was going to be "the mother of your only grandchildren!"
  17. Jennifer May 6, 2022 at 9:22 pm #
    My aunt said the dishwasher repair man told her just to throw the pod in the dishwasher- like just into the abyss of the dishwasher- not in the little thing with the slide door. I’ve been doing it that way and it’s working beautifully.
  18. Morgan May 13, 2022 at 1:06 pm #
    First, just drop the pod into the bottom of your dishwasher. Don't bother with the little compartment thingy. And second, YES. Women's rights forever and ever AMEN.

Leave a Reply