Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrr y a d i r f!

Why is it that anytime and every time someone and everyone points to their tooth and says, “You have something..” we go for the wrong tooth. And that person, without fail, says, “Other side.”

EVERY TIME.

What is it about humans that cannot get this right? “Wrong side. Wrong tooth. One over. Not that one. There you go. Wait, not yet. You got it. I thin- nope. Still there. Now ya got it. Sure thing, no prob.”

I’ve tried to figure this out on multiple occasions because a) somehow I always have something in my teeth, and b) I need friends. And I’m trying to figure out where the error is. Is it the person letting us know about the tooth? Are we mirroring where they’re pointing? Because I feel like when we mirror, they automatically come back with, “Other side.” But if we reach for our upper left side because they’re pointing to their upper right side, it’s going to get complicated. And fast.

Because this is the thing, where they’re looking, where their eyes are cast should be THE MAIN INDICATOR on where the something is. Therein, we mirror. YET IT IS WRONG EVERY TIME.

Also, have you ever flossed with a loose jean thread in an emergency?

No?

Oh.

I’ll just be over here still needing friends.

Here’s another thing.

And I’m not sure if it’s age, if it’s being a woman, if it’s being a mom, or if it’s just being a loon toon. BUT, if I’m getting settled somewhere, like the sofa, or my work spot, or downstairs to tidy up the basement, or in the bedroom doing laundry, I have a list (re: haul) of things I need to bring for comfort.

And that list is:

lip gloss

my phone

perhaps a charger

hand lotion

my water bottle

my coffee

a hair tie, because what if my neck gets hot?

incense (for downstairs if I’m cleaning)

my wireless speaker (for downstairs if I’m cleaning)

my book (obviously if I’m on the couch)

I think that’s it. Not so bad, huh!?

…hello?

What’s on your creature comfort list?

POLL: at what point do you start wearing suntan lotion again? Are you a hard March kickoff type of person? Or do you wear it year round? Are you an arms-and-chest-only wearer during the spring and move down to legs once shorts are back into rotation?

My friend Kate and I were talking about this other day over Saturday morning cappuccinos, and she said to me, “Look, if you can’t tone it, tan it.” And I was like, “YES! AND VISORS!” She just looked at me.

I found my trusty Jergens Natural Glow in the bottom bathroom drawer the other day. The lid was wonky and dangling, and the lotion was sort of crusty when it oozed out of the dried-out top, but I managed to get a little out and slathered on my terrifying-little-Victorian-girl-ghost arms. Felt good!

Wait, are we still using Jergens? Do I need to up my game here, folks? Go easy on me.

I’m thinking we might need an official book club post next week. You in?

Weekend plans?

It’s officially our spring break, but it snowed five inches yesterday. Yay? And get this – this time NEXT week it’s back in the 70s. So today we’ll sled, have a cozy fire, go to bed early, and in a few days it’s park date with friends, patio lounging and a garden fest at a local nursery. I’ll be sporting my visor and Jergens. Bananas.

From this week, in case ya missed it::: Pappardelle with a Simple Tomato Sauce! A glorious vegetarian meal that’s suitable for the quickest of suppers to date night finesse. And a crushingly tasty Mediterranean Bean Salad. Just a few ingredients and you’ve got the most vibrant side dish ever. Another vegetarian meal! Who am I?

Tell me your spring break plans. Staying home? Traveling? Building garden beds? Avoiding all humanity? Spill it!