Friday Flotsam

Fridaaaaaayyyyaaaaaah! (<–see I can keep it mild.)

Can we just talk about the bedpan situation around the grandparents’ bed in Willy Wonka real quick?

I know it’s been at the top of your to-dissect list.

First of all, four elderly grandparents. In a full-size bed. Together. CONSTANTLY. And apparently none of them can walk? At all? What’s the deal there? Why can’t they walk? Because clearly Grandpa Joe could walk once he put his mind (and legs and feet) to it. Matter of fact, he could dance! I bet you anything they all had a little Electric Slide in them just waiting to roar.

BUT THE BEDPANS. First of all, no. If they can get out of bed to squat over the bed pans, why can’t they make their way to the bathroom less than three feet away? Wasn’t there a bathroom less than three feet away? There were chocolate bars a plenty, surely there was a bathroom.

Or do they squat over the bedpans? Do they lean down and bring the bedpans to them? Still, it takes a certain amount of lower body strength to lean down, secure a grasp, haul it up, maneuver over the bedpan, not slosh anything out of the bedpan and gently place it back down. And if they can do that they can certainly just get up, dance a little, and go hit up the actually potty.

(you’re like, “what am I reading right now.”)

Wait, did the young mom have to take the bedpans out? That poor woman. I realize I could google “how do bedpans work?” or “why didn’t the grandparents in Wonka get out of bed” or “why don’t I have human friends” but it’s too much work. Just like going to the bathroom APPARENTLY.

(yes I’ve seen the movie a million times since I was a kid and cannot.let.this.go.)

I still haven’t lol’d.

Loled? Lol’d. I still haven’t!

And by that I mean use the actual l followed by the o followed by the final l. I usually just do this – “hahahahaha!” Or “ha!” Or use the different laughing face emojis. Mostly the emojis.

Thing is, back when it first came out, I hated it. I swore I’d never use lol. Never. But years have passed and it’s completely taken on a new attitude. And I’m obsessed. I love reading it as a subtle tack-on in funny memes with everyday adult humor. Especially coming from “poised” people like doctors or lawyers – completely hysterical. I love when it pops up unexpectedly in serious captions. It’s so funny to me now. Makes me lol so hard.

Oh! There it was! You all saw it!

. . . Not sure how I feel about it.

So, my life is at a crossroads, and I need your input.

And I’m serious. What I decide this weekend sets the tone for weeks to come. Years, maybe.

And I need your guidance, your strength, your gentle yet impactful nudge to help me through this pivotal fork in the road.

Should I watch the newest Mrs. Maisel first, the Alanis Morissette documentary, or the And Just Like That documentary? (Or D: a documentary on spider silk and its molecular properties, like Aaron suggests. And if you say D I will drop kick your boob.)

Which one? What comes first? Help me.

Daylight Saving Time is two weeks from this Sunday, in case anyone needs a morale boost.

Also, I feel like a turd saying Saving, singular. It most definitely feels like it should be SavingS, plural, but I guess that’s wrong and nothing is right and see you never lol.

Weekend plans?

Other than a birthday party tomorrow morning (the life of an elementary school kid <and the mom>) – ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Which is life-giving. And also means I’ll be churning out some reels, bruh. Look I am having fun JUST LET ME HAVE THIS. Also there’s a newish taco joint in the neighborhood that I’m dying to try and a book I’m about to finish. And of course the reels lol.

From this week, in case ya missed it::: Smoked Cajun Soup! Multiple have suggested just buying some already-smoked meats to make this dinner even more of a cinch. Brilliant! And a Herring Po’ Boy. Which technically isn’t an actual Po’ Boy, given the bread is a little different, but we’re okay! Just call it a sub sam and you’re set.

We’re having Slow Cooker Beer Chili tonight, what in your belly? (<–that kind of grossed me out, sorry lol)