Friday Flotsam


Before I even begin this post, I’d love to share a couple of thoughts.

You’re like, “wait I’m nervous.”

I’ll be completely honest – I’ve really struggled with how to navigate this week. Is reposting videos and graphics in Stories a total cop-out? Should I say more? Should I shut up? Do I just listen? Is just listening the wrong thing? What do I even say? It’s not going to be perfect. I’m not an activist by nature, so will I botch this? It’s not my style. Is this stress I’m feeling white privilege? Am I performing? I HAVE NO IDEA.

But then I saw this video with Twitch and Ellen talking about this very thing, and as I was sitting there nodding my head to him like, “YES, okay, YES. You’re saying what I’m feeling, Mr. Twitch!” He goes, “We don’t need perfect. We just need allies. We need people that care.”

BOOM. That is it. So simple. We need people that care.

And I care.

This week isn’t just a black square in my Instagram feed. It’s not enough for me to be not racist. I need to be an ally. This is something I’m excited to learn more about and support in my personal life. Behind the screen, and not for show. Conversations will happen in our home. And action will come from it. And that excites me.

So thank you for listening.

I’d also like to say something else.

. . . Guys I have the biggest crush on “Weird Al” Yankovic.

I know, I KNOW.

But I really do! And I feel like somewhere in my soul I always have.

A) He’s confident. B) He’s beyond intelligent. C) He’s hilarious. D) that HAIR.

You’re like, “please let there not be an E what nightmare am I LIVING RIGHT NOW.”

E) Of course there’s an E. He’s the master at parody.

F) He’s brilliant. The end.

In high school I got to the point where I preferred his version of Smells Like Nirvana over Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.

In college I even briefly dated a guy who had the exact same hair as “Weird Al.” I feel like I might have dated him because of that.

I have a crush on the man. It’s true.

Just needed to get that off my chest, bye.

Also, are we still wiping down our groceries?


Because honestly I’m so over it.

You’re like, “wait we’re supposed to wipe down our groceries?”

Listen to this, my neighbor wipes down every single EGG. At least she did back in March. I feel like I read something recently that said it’s not necessary. Not just the eggs, but the groceries in general. Not that the eggs were even ever mentioned. I mean they might have been mentioned, but I never read anything about eggs. That’s just something she did. I never did because anytime I crack an egg I wash my hands right after. And I don’t want spray getting into my egg, yo. Did you wipe down your eggs?

I feel like I’m back in the fertility clinic right now. “Lie back, I’m now going to wipe down your eggs.”

Can we stop wiping down our groceries?

Have you ever heard of geocaching?

My family is now obsessed with geocaching. It’s like a nerdy treasure hunt, you guys.

You’re like, “Oh you’re one to talk about nerdy after that “Weird Al” confession.” Touche.

They’ll set out on bikes in the blazing sun to find tiny hidden boxes filled with clues all around the city. And it’s an APP. I guess the app is sort of like the treasure map? The compass? I dunno, it’s got major Goonies vibes, except with no pirates and less cursing.

Do you do this? Do you geocache? I stay home and search for missing socks and I’m fine with that.

Weekend plans?

It’s going to be 45 million degrees this weekend. It’s fine.

Oh – I’m starting Everything I Never Told You in a bit. And I think I might make you a fun Italian-style Tuna Salad thingy! Would you like that? …hello?

From this week, if ya missed it!: Some delicious underground Motown tunes for your June, and a simple but classic Broccoli Cheese Soup, inspired by one of our book reads!

Okay tell me what movie you’re watching tonight.

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33 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Rebekah S June 5, 2020 at 9:08 am #
    I thought you navigated this week very well. It’s so hard to know and we all have to do the best we can and just ask, listen, and be open to growing. I've stopped wiping groceries but I would say do what makes you comfortable. Planning on making that soup and bread this weekend while running my AC so I can pretend it’s not melting hot outside.
  2. Rebekah Johnson June 5, 2020 at 9:49 am #
    Hi, I’m one a the peeps who’s all, “wait we need to wipe down groceries?” I mean I KNOW it’s been a thing I haven’t lived under a rock for the past 70 months, but I have a confession I HAVE NOT WIPED DOWN ONE GROCERY. Whew I feel better. Also yes please on the tuna thing. And movie... I may dust off Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore...
    • Dj June 5, 2020 at 4:32 pm #
      I totally get the Al thing! John Candy. My soul mate.
  3. Rebekah Johnson June 5, 2020 at 9:50 am #
    2 Rebekahs with the SAME SPELLING!!!!!!💃🏻💃🏻
  4. Sharon June 5, 2020 at 10:26 am #
    Never did wipe down groceries, still alive thank God! Our kids and nieces and nephews all LOVED Weird Al! My husband must have taken them to at least 10 concerts over the years. He puts on an excellent concert and now that they are grown we still reminisce about the fun they had. My daughter got a great Weird Al book from her cousin at her bridal shower. She said it was the best gift ever! If you have a chance to go to a concert do it! You will not regret it nor will the kids.
  5. Renae June 5, 2020 at 11:14 am #
    We did the geocache thing quite a few years ago when my boys were younger and still had enough energy to ride a bike...evidently that's what middle and high school do to you, you never have energy again. IDK. Anyway, it was fun, even though in our little town the things were pretty, dare I say it, LAME! But I love that you're loving it. Also, no wiping down groceries or putting Amazon boxes in quarantine. Still alive and kickin'. I never got Weird Al, but I'll never judge. Ever.
  6. Kimberly June 5, 2020 at 11:18 am #
    One summer we went to a Lady Gaga concert and a Weird Al concert in the same week and Weird Al had more costume changes during his set.
  7. Julie June 5, 2020 at 11:29 am #
    I saw Weird Al in concert. He opened up for the Monkees. Fun concert for sure!
    • Nancy June 5, 2020 at 11:36 am #
      Did you know that Jimi Hendrix also opened for the Monkees in 1967?
  8. Nancy June 5, 2020 at 11:33 am #
    I, too, thought you navigated the week just fine. It's hard to know what to say on social media and TBH, I have seen SO many different views from people of color, so I just listen & learn. I have signed petitions, as well, and made what for me was a significant purchase of a piece of jewelry from a black maker. It's beautiful and I can't wait to get it! Speaking of movies, I made the mistake of watching The Help on Netflix last night. I had read the book so knew what it was about but I still bawled my eyes out. I saw in an email just now that "Just Mercy" is streaming for free in June on all digital services. I'm sure it will be heavy, too, but I will make a point to watch it before month end. Not wiping down groceries anymore either! Whew! That was a lot! Happy Friday!
  9. Lynn June 5, 2020 at 11:48 am #
    I wiped down my canned goods (because they were easy) for about a week and that was it. But I have friends who still have barely left the house and do online grocery ordering and wipe down everything. I guess it's your comfort level.
  10. Amanda June 5, 2020 at 11:49 am #
    Not wiping down groceries here, but are we still supposed to? If you need something enjoyable to watch, the Hannah Gatsby standup special called “Douglas” on Netflix. It’s delightful.
  11. Katy June 5, 2020 at 11:53 am #
    I totally agree with you about Weird Al! Been a fan since 8th grade! (Back in the 80’s!) Yep-I’m still wiping down the groceries. I realize it might not be necessary but I do it anyway. Only perishable items. The shelf stable stuff stays on a table in the garage for 24 hours. I’m about done with it though!
  12. Emily June 5, 2020 at 12:08 pm #
    I love everything about this post. Thank you! Keep up the good fight and the good vibes. I am totally done wiping down groceries. just wash YA HANDS, right? Also, totally going to see if the geocaching is happening in my neck of the woods. sounds fun!
  13. Jessica June 5, 2020 at 1:24 pm #
    Thanks for sharing this, Bev. I too am having a hard time navigating the correct way to handle everything that is going on lately and the video you shared definitely helps. Here's to caring xo Also, I loved geocaching in high school!! I haven't thought about it in ages, so thank you for reminding me!!
  14. Kelsey June 5, 2020 at 1:27 pm #
    Confession: I never wiped down any groceries🤷🏼‍♀️ I agree that you navigated this week very well! You really just came across like you cared! I’ve never made anything with Tuna...I don’t think I’ve ever eaten tuna I like tuna???? I’m going to watch Hidden Places tonight- it’s an early 2000s hallmark movie, it was one of my mine and my sister’s favorite hallmark movies when we were younger and I just finished the book (by Lynn Austin) which was amazing! The movie only has like ¼th of the story that’s in the book!
  15. AnnieM June 5, 2020 at 1:28 pm #
    For the record—-I never started wiping down groceries. I’m a nurse and I honestly didn’t think a grocery item would have enough virus load to infect someone—especially if you were very careful to wash hands before, during and after putting them away and NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE. LOL. What we did is after everything was put away, I spray peroxide on all my counters, refrigerator handles (and air dry), recycle any boxes, bring shopping bags to the car, and that’s it. (Oh, and wash my hands. YET AGAIN.) So far we have all remained healthy. But—I am very strict still about social distancing and wear my mask everywhere.
  16. Christine June 5, 2020 at 1:29 pm #
    I felt EXACTLY the same way with navigating this week. You did a great job Bev... Im going to pretend I never read Weird Al portion-- cray cray girl :) I have not wiped off a single grocery since the 'rona started. Im reading Soul Speak by Julia Cannon and starting Yoing & Hungry on Netflix-- balance the mindless & mindful. Happy Friday!!
  17. Susan June 5, 2020 at 1:52 pm #
    I have never wiped down my groceries. It seemed like I had enough crazy obsessions already so I just said NO to that whole thing. And we're fine (not tempting fate here, am I?). I didn't put the grocery bags on my counters though, so there is that. I put them on the floor and unloaded them. I don't know why that felt right but there's a peek into how my little brain works.
  18. Sonia June 5, 2020 at 1:55 pm #
    Great blog !! Did the Grocery thing twice and was done. Watching Longmire. Great series on Netflix !
  19. Talisa June 5, 2020 at 2:29 pm #
    Hi Bev. Thanks for sharing your feelings regarding the current movement to liberate black people from police brutality and the bigger systemic injustices they’ve endured for centuries in this country. However rather than just say you want to be an ally, it might be more helpful to explain how you plan to do that. Have you donated to any organizations lately? Called your representatives or sent any emails demanding justice? Your small effort is important but it’s vague and not sufficient right now
    • Bev Weidner June 5, 2020 at 2:53 pm #
      Hey Talisa! Well, see I'm conflicted because I felt like telling people where I've donated would sound like bragging, or proving something to the internet. I'm not asking for others to tell me the specifics on what they're doing, because like me, I'm at the starting line and figuring this out all. But I will tell you since you asked, I've not called representatives. I don't even know how to do that. So I'll definitely look into it. I'm setting up a recurring monthly donation to a local KC Black organization (I've got a list I'm researching!) I plan on reading books on the history, talking more with my kids about this, etc. I don't have super specifics because, I just don't know yet.(I'll take suggestions!) But I'm excited to figure that out and learn different ways I CAN help and join the sea of change. (I've sent texts, just no emails) I hope this somehow helps, and thank you for bringing it up!
    • Bev Weidner June 5, 2020 at 4:02 pm #
      Oh! And I want to add to this - supporting black-owned businesses. Book stores, clothing and jewelry brands. I've added lots of IG accounts this week and am excited to just KNOW MORE black people. Also, do I need to capitalize black? I've seen it both ways and would love to know the correct way. Thanks!
      • Nan June 5, 2020 at 8:53 pm #
        AP style does not capitalize black! But it may be more respectful to capitalize it? Like this article says, magazines like ESSENCE and Ebony capitalize it. Easiest way to contact representatives: text the word "Resist" to 50409! Then any time you're feeling upset, you can impulse-text that number. It's a service and they'll automatically turn your text into a letter and send it to your state/federal representatives. I send them one-sentence letters all the time because I've heard they keep a tally of the preferences of their constituents so no matter how short it is, it matters. :) For local representatives, I don't know of something as easy as a text but you can look up your city and county reps etc. here: Here's a great list of black-owned bookstores someone sent me today:
        • Bev Weidner June 6, 2020 at 7:12 am #
          Thaaaank you for these tips! I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know what I can do.
      • Laura June 5, 2020 at 9:41 pm #
        I work at an advertising agency and one of the copywriters shared with the agency that Black, like Latinx, should always be capitalized. So just passing that knowledge along. I am glad to hear your working to educate yourself and spend time listening. As white women we are indoctrinated into centering ourselves and making ourselves the victim when we are the opressor. So happy to see you step back a bit.
        • Bev Weidner June 6, 2020 at 7:11 am #
          Oh this is helpful, thank you! And yes yes, so much to learn. It's exciting!
  20. Amy W June 5, 2020 at 2:50 pm #
    My dear, you navigated the waters just fine with the way you know how. I’m not sure about having a crush in a man who’s professional name starts with Weird. I just bought my 1st pair of Everlane sandals and I’m telling you the leather is like buttah! Keep smiling and making the world a better place.
  21. Megan June 5, 2020 at 3:35 pm #
    But... do you love UHF?
  22. Tracy June 5, 2020 at 4:33 pm #
    We're still wiping down groceries but I'd sure like to know if it's necessary!! Someone please tell me. We are watching Just Mercy on Amazon tonight.
  23. Laura Lee June 5, 2020 at 6:00 pm #
    Never wiped down groceries. Also don't walk around with gloves on. I'm flashing back to watching Weird Al videos at my friend's house because we didn't have cable. "Eat it, eat it..." Classic.
  24. Kelly June 6, 2020 at 9:13 am #
    The fact that you are concerned about getting your role as an ally right, or trying to is a great first step. I know a lot of us relate to this. Truly seeing ourselves in a mirror and breaking down each part of our heart, mind and soul takes time and can be uncomfortable, especially after years of doing things a certain way, that may or may not have been correct. Just think as hard and as uncomfortable as it is for us to face ourselves, imagine how hard it has been for others all these years in different situations. We all have our own pace, we just have to keep traveling in the right direction. P.S. I have a huge crush on Jack Black for many of the same reasons you love Al.

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