Friday Flotsam

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF r i d y a. I mean a y.

gremlins on ice

What exactly do you do with witch hazel? Besides get excited about using the words witch and hazel back to back.

What does it do? What does it heal? What ancient voodoo of yesterlore do I need to absorb for ultimate life happiness? I just joined Public Goods two days ago, which I haven’t even gotten my first box, so I have absolutely no way of knowing if I’ll like it or not. And one of their products is witch hazel. But in a clean white bottle with simple lettering on the front. And I’m so drawn to it! WITCH HAZEL.

Of course I’ve heard of it all my adult life, but haven’t really given it much thought because of how trendy it is.

THAT WITCH HAZEL IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW. (<–name that movie.)

You never name my movies.

Name that movie, dangit!

And then tell me about Miss Hazel. Does she bite?


A Place For Us – are you reading? Are you in my imaginary book club? I’m alllllmost to the halfway point. Mile marker 46 I think. (No spoilers, I swear!)

I LOVE it. It’s such a different read than what I’ve been churning through this year. These Indian family dynamics are just so compelling. Tiny things are starting to tie together, since the mini chapters inside the main chapters jump around in time so much. (I get confused! do you? no? oh.) But I can’t wait for that big, “OMG NOW IT GET IT. WHOA. whoa,” moment.

When does that happen? You can tell me. Tell me!

Yes I need to pull that dead leaf off. I see it. I know you see it. I’ll go do it now. Hold on.

That’s all I had to say.

gremlin art

Fellow frothers:::: LET US DISCUSS.

Okay. I’m so perplexed by my little milk frother stick. Tell me – what exactly makes THE BEST froth? Because for a while I thought it was how much fat was in the milk. But get this – my 2% froths way better than HEAVY CREAM.

Why is that?

What is going on?

And then I thought out loud to no one, “Okay it must have something to do with the temperature of the milk. It froths better cold.”

But lately, my cold bubbles fizzle almost immediately.

Why is that?

What is going on?

And THEN I thought again out loud to no one, “Maaaaybe it’s because I’m out of collagen peptides, and the collagen helps the bubbles all stick together like a youthful deer’s neck.” Because that’s what normal people say.

So tell me, what’s the magic formula for getting your bubbles to STICK AND STAY? I ain’t trying to make fancy bubble art, guys. (although it is a goal) I JUST WANT SOME DANG THICK FOAM TO LOOK AT.

Wait, would witch hazel help with this?


All I want in my life is spring. Ugh, I keep ordering little spring tops and dresses in the hopes that it will somehow trick the weather into thinking it should not be such an ARCTIC A-HOLE.

I’m planning the garden. I should not be planning the garden.

I’m fantasizing about a new sheen of oil on the pergola, washing the white curtains and filling all the frozen terra cotta pots with flowers. I should not be fantasizing about a new sheen of oil on the pergola, washing the white curtains and filling all the frozen terra cotta pots with flowers.

I need to be organizing my taxes (hold me), scribbling on vintage Valentine’s Day cards with the kids (hold me again) and rewashing their winter coats for another 57 months of cold and snow ahead. And I cry.

Hold on, does witch hazel help with this?


Weekend plans?

The kids are home from school for the 785th day in a row because of ice. And I’m about to take my fist to the ice’s face.

Other than that, I’m gonna sizzle some scallops for you (!), watch this movie tonight (obsessed with Jake’s hair and glasses and whole everything in it), paint the fireplace bricks white (you know I always need a project), and try and make lots of progress with A Place For Us. Mile marker 198 I think.

Okay, on a scale from 1-10 – how cold are you right now? And does witch hazel help with this?

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20 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. jenrenee February 8, 2019 at 8:21 am #
    The only use I know for witch hazel is to apply it to the area in pain after childbirth. And I do remember it helping…slightly
  2. brandy February 8, 2019 at 8:25 am #
    I used to use witch hazel as an astringent in my younger days. Why? Who knows. I probably read something that said you could and I wanted to be cool. Also, the movie is Zoolander, I think. I've never seen the movie, but I've seen the meme 😂 Happy Friday!
    • Nicole February 8, 2019 at 11:49 am #
      YEs- witch hazel as astringent/toner on your face is the BEST! Especially after a workout, you feel so fresh and so clean clean
  3. Anonymous February 8, 2019 at 8:51 am #
    froth the heavy cream for a long time, like 1-2 minutes.
  4. Amy S February 8, 2019 at 10:14 am #
    What color white do you use when you paint?
  5. Sara February 8, 2019 at 10:32 am #
    I use Dickinson's witch hazel as a toner! One of the women at Sephora recommended witch hazel as a toner after the ones I had tried were very strong on my skin. I use it every morning before I put on serum/moisturizer and every night after I wash my face/before I do the rest of my routine. It's been great!
    • Nicole February 8, 2019 at 11:50 am #
      me too! The best!
      • Liz February 8, 2019 at 12:40 pm #
        Me three! I have used it for years as a toner and love it.
  6. Sharon February 8, 2019 at 11:26 am #
    I believe the lower the fat content in the milk the better it froths. Try skim!
  7. Wenderly February 8, 2019 at 12:33 pm #
    Witch hazel is L❤️VERLY as a toner & estringent! You must give it a whirl. It also happens to be my initials... WH. My mind works in mysterious ways. I’ll never be normal.
  8. Lucinda February 8, 2019 at 1:37 pm #
    I use witch hazel as a toner too. My mom used to keep it in the fridge during the summer and on hot days put it on a cloth and pat her face. It always felt so good!
  9. Stephanie February 8, 2019 at 2:15 pm #
    My mother-in-law told me to use witch hazel on my kids after they got shots. I blindly followed her advice and I don't know if it helped them be less sore, but they've never really complained about shot pain and they are still alive 7 years later so.... That's all I use it for. A little cotton balls worth once a year. So, I have plenty if you need some! ha!
  10. Meredith February 8, 2019 at 3:31 pm #
    Mer-MAN!!! Love Zoolander. Witch hazel for every usage in the previous comments and I’m heading out to a wine and chocolate pairing at one of my favorite wineries in NorCal this weekend, sans kiddos 💃🏼 Also I can’t with winter 🥶
  11. Kathy February 8, 2019 at 3:39 pm #
    My husband and I attended a coffee seminar in Philadelphia last year and the coffee expert from the company (name of which of course I FORGET) says that it is the freshness of the milk. We buy organic 1% milk most of the time, but sometimes just regular 1% or 2% from the grocery store in a pinch and they all make great froth within the first few days of purchase. The older the milk, the less "rich" your bubbles will be. By the way, I've never frothed heavy cream, but I'm willing to bet that if you "froth" it for longer than a minute or so, you're going to get butter.
  12. Sarah February 9, 2019 at 5:38 pm #
    Idk anything about frothing cows milk but I have found that when I make my own almond milk it gets So so so frothy and think but the store bought kind is flat and gross.
  13. Amy February 9, 2019 at 6:22 pm #
    Zoolander. Book. Named that movie.
    • Amy February 9, 2019 at 6:23 pm #
  14. Annie February 10, 2019 at 9:50 am #
    I am a huge believer in using a french press as a milk frother!! just pump the plunger up and down and it makes the silkiest frothed milk!!
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