FrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrJOHNNY! I mean IDAY!

Aren’t you just a little bit curious about Red Lobster?

I mean, it is STILL IN BUSINESS.

How? How has it not totally sunk by now? (<—ha! sunk. never mind.)

I was at a little wine tasting last night and Red Lobster came up (obviously by me), and a dude was all, “I actually went to a Red Lobster about six years ago.” SIX YEARS. You guys that is QUITE RECENT in the timeline of life and Red Lobster involvement.

I mean, I still see the commercials. They still make actual commercials. And they still look completely delicious. That giant silky shrimp cannonballing into a vat of melted butter are you kidding?

And those cheddar biscuits. Remember the cheddar biscuit puffs from above? Are they still heavenly? I have a vague memory of sobbing my way through a basket of cheddar biscuits as a young lassie after church on Sunday. Because that’s when you ate Red Lobster. After church on Sunday. For a birthday. SOMEONE ALWAYS HAD A BIRTHDAY AT RED LOBSTER AFTER CHURCH ON SUNDAY.

But like, is it good? Can any of you solve this bubbling mystery for the curious soul fairies that live within me?

These are the things I think about at night and all the time.

fairy lights

So as you alllll know by now, we’re re-doing our murder basement. Matter of fact, you guys invented the hashtag #bevsmurderbasement and IT IS TRENDING.

It’s not trending.

But we’re doing it! Finally doing it! It has been on our laundry  list (hahahaha, the laundry room is down there! so it’s funny. never mind.) for YEARS. It was semi-livable in the early years of owning this house, but over time it became a place where dreams go to die.

But! This past Sunday we spent seven hours down in that Dexter dungeon and puuuuuuurged like a mother. Two GIANT trips to a thrift store, one trip to recycling, one trip to the city dump, and a visit from U GOT JUNK, and we’re clean. And I feel like a queen. Like a YAS QUEEN.

Aaron’s finishing the white paint on the floors and walls and stairs this morning, and next week we take out the harsh florescent murder lights and install beautiful warm brass track lighting. Even the trash camp bathroom is sparkly. I could cry for a month.

I’ll be painting the long existing metal handrail an aged brass, and putting down a simple, natural stair runner at some point. And I bought all these faux plants at IKEA yesterday and DIDN’T HATE IT. The jooshing is where it’s at, yo.

And of course this process has made me realize that at its completion, we’re completely done with our house. Everything has been remodeled. The outside areas are (for the most part) pimped. Every room is where I like it (for now.) Everything’s up to date in Kansas City. (<–name that movie.)

AND I PANICKED. We can’t be done! So of course, now I’ve decided that once this is complete, my new mission is to fine tune my main living floor to look like a cozy Parisian village with a Scandinavian minimal jungle chic touch. Which, it mostly is. BUT NOT 100%. Which I will fix. And you will see. I have grand plans, bunnies. (insert so much brass.)



I’m sorry, but We’re Going on a Bear Hunt has some issues.

You know the part where they’re randomly faced with a snowstorm? A swirling, whirling snowstorm?

And they can’t go under it. And they can’t go over it, so they have to go through it. Remember that part?

I’m sorry HOW DID THEY NOT LOOK AT THE FORECAST AHEAD OF TIME? They set out on this grand adventure of hunting down a bear, God knows WHY, and they’re all dressed in light dresses and tee-shirts. It is like, SPRING when they leave their home on this quest.

And on top of that, they take a TINY BABY with them. Why would you take a tiny baby who still needs a bottle ON.A.BEAR.HUNT. Completely irresponsible, if you ask me.

And they suddenly have to treck through this massive blizzard WITH BARE LEGS. They really should have planned ahead. And maybe brought a . . . oh I dunno, A COAT. Or a sandwich. Or hi, water.

I’m just sayin’.

rose in ice

Look at this frozen rose in a block of ice.

I got home from dropping the kids off at school yesterday, and Aaron was hunched over this setup next to our living room window, taking photos with his phone.

And I thought out loud very loudly, this is why I married him. How poetic is that ROSE IN ICE?

It wasn’t for me though, which is fine. I guess. He’s writing for the Lyric Opera right now. (KCers, if you’ve ever gotten a flyer in the mail, or seen a witty, slightly dark commercial on TV, that was him. He writes the dark. He writes the funny.) 

This image is actually a poster concept for next year’s “La Boheme.” It’s lovely, isn’t it?

I seriously need to go to the opera.

That’s all.

building in new york

Weekend plans?

We’re headed to (Pee Wee) Hermann, MO today with our besties for a Christmas wine country getaway! Don’t the words Christmas + wine + country back to back just make your heart howl at the moon? I’ve not been to Hermann since my gal pal train trip on my 40th a couple of years ago. And Aaron’s NEVER BEEN, so we’re bringing our friends’ nanny so that the adulties can have a fun wine adventure on Saturday! And of course show the kiddies the sparkly festive village. Maybe catch a caroler or 40.

You know.

You’re still thinking about cheddar biscuits, aren’t you?

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18 Responses to FRIDAY FLOTSAM

  1. JC December 7, 2018 at 8:07 am #
    As a school librarian, I would read Going on a Bear Hunt every year to kindergartners. I would turn the book around to face me at the bear part, wait a second, turn it around and scream "it's a bear" and get the appropriate reaction of jumping and then laughter. The best part of the job :).
    • JC December 7, 2018 at 8:08 am #
      Also having a severe shellfish allergy I have told my family when I am ready to go I am going to Red Lobster and eating one of everything and bingo-I will be gone.
  2. saundra m abel December 7, 2018 at 8:22 am #
    six years red lobster - [ could be 10 for me] once i learned how to make the biscuits i had no need for them........especially after they took the gumbo off the menu
  3. Courtney December 7, 2018 at 8:44 am #
    It's NOT good. I've been there once -- just last year. We told our 9-year-old niece we would take her out for her birthday, and she could choose the place. Lo and behold, she chose Red Lobster. It was...greasy, salty, and horribly tacky. Needless to say, we're giving her options to choose from going forward when it comes to eating out...
  4. Maureen December 7, 2018 at 8:56 am #
    My daughter loves red lobster. And she’s in it just for the lobster. Or crab. It was one of her grandmother’s favorites and years after grandma passed we found a gift card she had given us for RL that we never used. We took our (then 3 year old) daughter with us to use the card. Now she’s hooked. She has many aunts who will take her (I think because it makes them think of their mom) so she gets there at least 2 or 3 times a year. Fun fact: there’s no lobster on the kids menu
  5. Michelle December 7, 2018 at 9:36 am #
    For a place that supposedly specializes in seafood, Red Lobster is the WORST. Everything is overcooked, greasy, too salty, and nearly inedible. When you're a seafood restaurant and the two best food items you have are cheddar bay biscuits and Caesar salad, something's wrong.
  6. Cathy December 7, 2018 at 9:46 am #
    Basement pics? I really need inspiration for my dungeon!
  7. Erin December 7, 2018 at 12:57 pm #
    I have to say, my 95 YO mother in law LOVES Red Lobster (I think she gets hooked seeing the commercials on TV), so a few times a year we have to go for whatever random "shrimp/crab/lobster FEST" they are having. I always dread it and go kicking and screaming....and I always walk away kinda loving it. It has nostalgia, no pretension and I love the whole salad with a TROUGH of dressing /biscuits thing before they bring you this ginormous platter that you already saw on the menu is 4700 calories..... There is just something about it that makes me chuckle and appreciate that not every dining experience has to be "high falootin" to be enjoyable.
  8. Denita December 7, 2018 at 1:05 pm #
    You can buy the cheddar biscuit mix at HyVee here in KC, guessing other stores also sell it...I can't say if they are identical b/c I haven't been in years (less than 14 though b/c I have gone, for a birthday of course, since I moved back) but it is good...use block cheese (not bagged) and real butter, follow directions and things are good. I've cut the box mix in half just so I wouldn't eat an entire mix worth of biscuits. I realize I have a problem, it's okay.
  9. Shelly December 7, 2018 at 1:08 pm #
    Those Red Lobster biscuits are called Cheddar Bay Biscuits! Google them, and they're easily replicated at home. Or if you have a Christmas Tree Shop in your area, they sell a boxed recipe. So good!
  10. Ashley December 7, 2018 at 1:58 pm #
    "Everything's up to date in Kansas City... they went about as fer as they could go!" Oklahoma! I have never been as jealous of a sentence as I am at "we're bringing my friend's nanny." My weekend plans now need to include make friends with someone who has a nanny.
  11. Carol December 7, 2018 at 2:32 pm #
    I haven't been to Red Lobster or Perkins in years. From what I remember, they were both kind of awful. So many of those places are heat and serve what comes from ... well, wherever the food comes from. I thought Perkins was especially terrible so when I've recently seen more of the holiday shoppers parked at Perkins than there are at Red Lobster, I can't imagine that they'll be around for too much longer.
  12. Margaret Thompson December 7, 2018 at 3:11 pm #
    Just pick up a box of Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuits at aldi. Boom. Done.
  13. Sustainable Cooks - Sarah Cook December 7, 2018 at 3:30 pm #
    We make homemade Red Lobster biscuits from scratch at least once a month. So much better than the salty boxed mix they sell at costco. My kids have never been to Red Lobster but they are allllll about these biscuits.
  14. Michelle December 8, 2018 at 10:25 am #
    Red lobster is THE WORST. So. Much. Butter. And not good REAL butter, but like something in a tub with a pound of bad salt. We were recently (like a year go - thank you, gift card and tempting commercials & sorry, soul.) and now every time we see another commercial we want to ralph. You can buy the biscuit mix at nearly any big box store and cry over them at home (You’re welcome). On a happier note... Fabulous basement plans! Your home is so lovely. Well👏🏻Done👏🏻 (!)
  15. Nancy December 8, 2018 at 4:38 pm #
    What I wish was still around was Howard Johnson's. They had the BEST hotdogs on these great buns with the sides sliced off and grilled and spicy brown mustard on the dog. And of course, an ice cream cone after. I loved going there as a kid!
  16. lynn December 10, 2018 at 2:40 pm #
    I have never been to red lobster in all my 30+ years. And now I can never go bc I wouldn't be able to say "I have never been to a red lobster." Also your house vibe is exactly what my house vibe is, i just could never put it into words: "a cozy Parisian village with a Scandinavian minimal jungle chic touch" = 100%
  17. Emily H December 11, 2018 at 10:51 am #
    I used to go to Red Lobster every single year for my birthday growing up and it was my JAM. I loved that place. As an adult I'd still go back for those biscuits, the salad, crab legs, their crab alfredo, their grilled fish, etc. and it was still good. Not fancy, just good (and nostalgic). Then I developed a shellfish allergy about 5 years ago - also known as the worst day of my life - and I'm too scared to go back. Something tells me they don't have a great food allergy protocol. But I still miss it sometimes and wonder how it's doing.

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