Shortcut Pizza Bites!

Bites, Nuggets, Bombs, Gobs, Blasts. You know.

GUYS. The gremlins are about to be home, in my house, in my face, under my feet, in my way, in the air, for

t w o

w e e k s.

(send wine.)

So I made pizza rolls! For myself! Just kidding, for them. And myself.

And okay – YES I’ve made pizza rolls before. But I don’t think you’re going to be mad about it. Because these are waaaaay different, as I’m using actual pizza dough, and they’re in the actual SHAPE of a pizza roll. You know, like those bags of frozen pizza rolls that you made as a kid and they burned your mouth until kingdom come, yet you kept eating them in protest while your tongue was still oozing lava and regret? Those.

Four ingredients. You in?

At first I said to no one, “I’m going to make these super traditional! Tons of little squares, just like childhood. And everyone will be gleeful and love me.”

Then I got impatient.

So I decided to get fancy! And I said to no one, “I’ll make them into ornate little braids! Just like adulthood. And everyone will be super impressed and love me.”

Then I got impatient again.

So I looked around and said to no one, “Okay I don’t even care anymore. ABOUT ANYTHING. Roll this ish up, slice and bake. I’ll call these’ns BOMBS and everyone will swoon and love me.”

And you know what, they were my fave! (not fav.)

Really, they’re all pretty dern fun. The string cheese doesn’t overly melt in the heat and ooze out, leaving you with a pocket of stupid hot empty air in each bite. They stay put! But they melt a little. Agreeable, that string cheese.

The original rolls? LOVE ‘EM. However, some cheese might poke out a little. I have a hunch it’s due to my sub par pinching skills. Yours will be better.

Hey, let’s see what the kids think!

Oh.

Not impressed?

IT’S NOT LIKE THEY’RE SLUGS, YOU GUYS.

That’s more like it!

Oh.

. . .

Make some pizza bites! There’s no real solid recipe here. Just get all willy nilly with it.

Roll out some pizza dough, dab the tiniest amount of pizza sauce in the center, place a small (like 1/2-inch) chunk of sliced string cheese in the middle, maybe a dash of pizza seasoning, and pinch ’em up. Bake in a 400 degree oven until golden brown on top. And if you see a little bit of cheese poking out, you’re definitely a good person.

Okay that braided one is pretty cute. Do you love me?

Don’t answer that.