Friday Flotsam

FLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAHDEEEDAY.

ford's buoys

Do you sleep in a bra?

Dudes be like, PASS.

But, do you? Is this a thing? Sleeping in your bra?

Over the 4th of July, I was drinking rosé absurdly early in the day with a couple of besties, and we were talking about boobs. (#duh) Sleeping in your bra came up, and I’m seriously surprised at JUST HOW MANY ladies sleep in their bras! Bra. One lady per bra.

I didn’t know this was a thing! Do you do this, or do you “SET THE GIRLS FREE” – another phrase spoken at high levels that rosé-induced morni – um, day.

Tell me, what is it supposed to DO? Because I’m one hundred kabillion percent on board if it shrinks them down, perks them up and reverts them back to the fearless headlights they once were in their beloved teen years.

And like, is there a specific sleep BRA? Or do you just wear an old stretched-out sports bra and call it a day?

My mom is like, “Ooooof course this is her first Friday Flotsam topic after a month-long hiatus.” Followed by removing my name from the will.

rosé and beer at Oyster Treehouse in Mystic

Have you ever actually “turned this car around?”

Over our Connecticut trip, we found ourselves slinging that phrase around like cliché robots. “WE WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND.” “DON’T TOUCH EACH OTHER.” “LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE.” “SHE DID NOT TRY TO BITE YOU.” “THAT IS A SHOELACE, NOT A SNAKE, STOP SCREAMING.” “WE WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUUUUUUND.”

But I mean, we never did. No one actually TURNS THE CAR AROUND, do they? It’s 100% just a scare tactic, I know that. But can you imagine how awful and sad and devastating it would be if you really did turn the car around?? You’re not ABOUT to turn the car around. No way.

My parents neeever turned the car around. Not once. Same for Aaron. Never did the car get turned around. Not a single, dingle time.

No one turns the car around.

No one.

I’m curious though, in the entire history of this phrase, just how many times the car ACTUALLY got turned around.

I mean, maybe en route to get a root canal? “I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND.”

A mammogram? “I WILL TUUUUURN THIS CAR AROUND.”

A colonoscopy? “LOOK I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND SO FAST.”

No one does.

Have you?

You have, haven’t you. You turned the car around!

I kind of want to turn the car around.

teepeed house

HOW IS THIS STILL A THING? ^^^^^^

Don’t get me wrong, I’m obsessed with it. But only on others’ houses and specifically not mine.

The other morning on my run, I passed at least four houses that were teepeed. Tee-peed. TP’d?

FOUR! That’s a lot of Charmin. So when I took the kids to summer school that morning, we passed another one, and I had the privilege of explaining to them what this juvenile act entails. And I was like, “THEN the parents make their kids get all that toilet paper down. But I have no idea how they get toilet paper down like that from the tree tops.”

And Nat goes, “MOM, they use dragons.”

Me, “Do what?”

Nat, “They use dragons to get the toilet paper down.”

Me, “Dragons? Seriously? Where do they find dragons?”

And Will chimes in, “FROM A DRAGON CAVE, MOM. Or a forest.”

Me, “Ohhhhh. Right. Okay. A dragon cave. Makes sense. I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND.”

Tell me this, because I’m dead serious – how DO you get that toilet paper down from the tree tops? (Besides dragons.) I’ve wanted to know this since the mid-’80s.

Also, let me make something clear – I DO NOT WANT TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN, local friends. Stay back. I’ve got weapons. (and by weapons I mean like, a finger nail file.)

Have you been teepeed?! Seriously, how do you get it down?!

Obsessed with this.

gremlins with sparklers

I kind of want to get back into tongue scraping.

shaved ice and gremlins

Weekend plans?

IT IS GOING TO BE SO HOT. However, I do see a scattering of thunderstorms in our Sunday forecast, so I feel like there is a ray of hope for my lawn and garden’s lives. (Have you missed my weather forecast updates?? Don’t answer that.)

We’ve got a bestie birthday to celebrate tomorrow night, and some pergola pimping to do this afternoon. If you’re not following on Stories, you’re still a good person. But Aaron built a pergola for our back patio, and it’s STUNNING. Super minimal with no tapered edges, ivy and bistro lights on the top, bright green hanging plants on every post. I’m dying. White curtains arrive today, and a new cream three-piece sectional arrives next week. ANDDDDD Aaron added his own personal touch with that string/ring game. You know, you swing a ring toward a hook to see if you hook it? The ring? On the hook? That you swing? Never mind.

Wait, you are even reading this?

YOU KEEP READING OR I WILL TURN THIS BLOG AROUND.

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38 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Anonymous July 13, 2018 at 7:32 am #
    Everyone turns the car around! Don’t tell the kids any different. Al
  2. Simone July 13, 2018 at 7:58 am #
    Not a normal bra unless I'm too lazy. Either free or a sports bra (definitely a sports bra when at someone's house).
  3. Stephanie July 13, 2018 at 8:22 am #
    Yes on the bra sleeping. I started after I had my kids with sleep bras for nursing and never looked back. I like to pretend that they help prevent sagging, but I have no evidence, sadly. They have some cute ones at the Target!
  4. Jenn I July 13, 2018 at 9:10 am #
    My mom never turned the car around, but she did pull it over once. My brother and I (we're 15 months apart) had climbed out of our carseats to play and missed the previous warnings due to said playing (this was the early 80s when carseats weren't such crazy contraptions). Suddenly we noticed we weren't moving. We asked Mom what was up, and she didn't say a word, just glared. We quietly climbed back in our car seats and she pulled away from the curb and kept going. We never did that again.
  5. Jeanne July 13, 2018 at 9:20 am #
    OK... so the bra Q... after each of my babies (I have 3 girls, 11, 8 and almost 5) I wore a nursing/sports bra for a long time. One to keep the nursing pads in place and another to just feel comfortable. I wore one for at least a year with each one. Now that I'm WAAAAY past the baby/nursing phase, I don't sleep in a bra anymore. I do keep one on til right before bed when I get in my PJs. TMI?? TP? Hee hee
    • Lauren July 16, 2018 at 6:19 am #
      This! Bras to sleep only while breastfeeding. I was told tongue scraping would change my life. It hasn’t. Has it changed yours?!
  6. Rebekah S. July 13, 2018 at 9:26 am #
    Supposedly, wearing a bra actually puts the muscles into atrophy so less bra equals more perk. I usually threaten to pull the car over and, YES. I’ve followed through on that a lot of times. But i don’t think I would ever turn the car around. I usually want to go wherever it is we are going. Lol Made the little pizza snack for supper last night. I’ll be making that again approx 127,847 times in the next few weeks. So. Good.
  7. Rachel King July 13, 2018 at 9:36 am #
    TP'd - YES the tops of trees...you have to hose it down...yum, wet toilet paper all on your lawn. Not your lawn...but yes.
  8. Caryn July 13, 2018 at 10:16 am #
    I have turned the car around. Two kids that would not stop and the one was asked to leave the car and go into the house. I've never had to do it again.
  9. Lonna Seger July 13, 2018 at 10:19 am #
    I never used that term before but...my youngest of 3 kept telling me was going to leave (he was 3 or 4) when he didn’t get his way soooo...one day without emotion I brought out a small suitcase, took it up to his room and started packing it (in front of him). He asked what I was doing so I told him “I’m helping you pack...I don’t want you to be unhappy”. After packed I took his little hand and suitcase and set him out on the front step and told him”I hope you find a nice family and can be happy now!” Shut the door, and could hear him crying and saying I don’t want a new mommy! Then about 5 minutes later he picked up the suitcase and went crying down the walk...of course I followed him...he got to the corner and stopped. I asked what he was doing...he said “I am not allowed to cross the street so I guess I will just sit here! Tore my heart out! After about 1 minute I asked if he thought he could be happy at home...he came running into my arms! Never heard him say he was leaving again!!! God did I damage him? He is now 23 yo and an Engineer who still loves his mamma! Maybe didn’t ruin him after all!
    • Bev Weidner July 13, 2018 at 11:03 am #
      OMG this is the most amazing story! I'm crying in laughter. :)
    • Liz July 13, 2018 at 1:35 pm #
      I did something very similar when I was younger! I told my mom I was going to run away and my mom helped me pack. I have a vague recollection of getting to the end of the block and not knowing where to go from there. I am now 29, still love my mom, and think it is very funny so I am sure your son is just fine :)
  10. Erin July 13, 2018 at 10:19 am #
    Never had the car turned around, but my grandmother did stop the car once and made us get out of the car. I mean, she didn't leave us there, but we were perfect little soldiers after that!
  11. Hannah July 13, 2018 at 10:21 am #
    Hell no to the bra in bed, just keep it nearby in case of an emergency exit during an earthquake or fire (true stories). I turned the car around once and got weird satisfaction from it but then felt like an awful human.
  12. Autumn July 13, 2018 at 10:31 am #
    sleep in a BRA!?!??!?! I was like, nooooooo way Jose... or Bev!! that just sounds so horrible to me! nope, not gonna do it! Be free!
  13. Jenna July 13, 2018 at 11:33 am #
    Bralette. I'm just so pointy after babies. Just something restrictive enough that I don't roll over in my sleep and pinch my nipple in my arm (true story) (so painful). I used to be able to find more tanks with shelf bras in them which were perfect for sleeping in, but they don't seem to be made much any more, and all my old ones fell apart.
  14. Karen B. July 13, 2018 at 11:39 am #
    I had a boyfriend in high school that worked at a major sports venue converting the basketball court to ice hockey as required by major team play. He thought it would be fun (and no doubt a sign of his affection) to dump the ticket stubs on our lawn. It took forever for me to clean it up! Needless to say we broke up shortly after...I mean if that's his idea of love!? :-) Karen
  15. Jennifer C. July 13, 2018 at 11:51 am #
    I do not sleep in a bra but...Halle Berry could be a walking billboard for the cause. It's a real thing. Google it.
  16. Melissa July 13, 2018 at 1:10 pm #
    I don't wear a bra unless I'm leaving the house...
    • Liz July 15, 2018 at 7:30 pm #
      I'm with Melissa! And regardless of maybe TMI, I sleep in the buff … have since my early teens. I keep a wrap near but in an emergency I am not worrying about a bra :) More TMI warning. I am old enough to be Bev's mother. That's it!
  17. Katie July 13, 2018 at 1:20 pm #
    I actually read recently that not wearing a bra at all when you can get away with it is better for the ladies. I mean--think about it: when you wear a bra, it doesn't make the boob muscles do any work. Much like astronauts in space who can't get exercise, the muscles atrophy. I've worn bralettes (with little support) now for about 7 or 8 years (I'm a 34DD), and I SWEAR TO SCIENCE they are perkier than they've been since puberty (I'm 33 for reference). I rip even those suckers off as soon as I get home. Bras are the devil. (I'm a clean, respectable person--this is not some hippy-ranting). Here's another article, since I couldn't find the first one: https://www.metro.news/bra-myths-busted/1139152/
  18. Nancy July 13, 2018 at 3:50 pm #
    Hell no to the bra!! My DD girls need a break from the harness by the end of the day! I did turn the car around one time. We weren't even a mile from home when my niece and nephew started pitching a major fit so I made a U-turn and came home. Being tp'd is a huge pain. The cheerleaders used to tp all the senior football players houses the night before the homecoming game. We lived next door to one of the players so the cheerleaders decided to do ours too because my brother was friends with some of them. It was 1989, but I vaguely remember just pulling it down and unwinding it.
  19. Kayle (The Cooking Actress) July 13, 2018 at 8:18 pm #
    I could never sleep with my bra on! That thing comes off the minute, nay the SECOND I get home!
  20. joan July 14, 2018 at 8:01 am #
    I don't wear a bra unless I go out, sometimes not then either, depending on the top I am wearing. In all my years I had never found one that I did not want to rip off after a couple of hours. Until now. Everlane has the most comfortable band!
    • Bev Weidner July 14, 2018 at 8:13 am #
      Okay, I've been SUPER curious about Everlane's unders. (obsessed with them in general) Just ordered the tank bra and high-rise hipster thanks to you!!
    • Liz July 15, 2018 at 7:37 pm #
      Thank you Joan. I ordered an Everlane also. I have JJill tanks with shelf bra but they are a bit warm for now. Was thinking of cutting-hemming them but the Everlane looks perfect.
  21. Jenn July 14, 2018 at 8:12 am #
    Oh man, no bra for sure!!!!! And underwear is also a no go , boxers to sleep in, but no actual undies!!!!!
    • joan July 16, 2018 at 4:40 pm #
      I have a good feeling about this Bev and Liz! You will love it.
      • joan July 16, 2018 at 4:44 pm #
        Oops, replied in the wrong spot. My good feeling is still there. haha
  22. Sue July 14, 2018 at 9:45 am #
    Nix the over the shoulder boulder holders anytime I can. I stay away from the booby traps unless mingling in social gatherings.
  23. Lori H July 14, 2018 at 7:38 pm #
    So, I never used to sleep in a bra, but now it is very uncomfortable to be...unsupported. Third Love makes a lovely Lounge Bra that I sleep in.
  24. Nancy July 15, 2018 at 10:57 am #
    I never turned the car around but I remember being in McDonald's once and a guy came in with 3 or 4 kids and whatever he told them not to do, one of them did it and out they went. No McDonald's for that crowd! And I wished I had the backbone to do something like that! Also, I've heard if you light the TP on fire it just burns out of the trees! I've never had to try it but it sounds good. Love your pergola!
  25. Rachele July 15, 2018 at 11:55 am #
    My parents totally turned the car around. No empty threats. And no Cedar Point that day. And they never had to say that they were turning the car around ever again. Because we knew if they said it, they’d do it.
  26. Stefanie July 15, 2018 at 2:14 pm #
    these comments have been truly enlightening.. pun intended (did you catch it? because w/o a bra its 'lighter'? no? i'll stop) i have soo many questionsssss... how do these people not wear bras during the day? DD girls, please, tell me how your back and shoulders don't hurt? i mean, when you sleep you lay down, unless you're a flamingo, so no bra kindaa makes sense because no gravity. but during the day? nuh-uh. i wish i could get away with no bra because i hate them. but even shelf bras in tanks don't always provide support enough to counteract the gravity she-demon. i myself am a DD and i curse the goddess of endowment each time i cross paths with spaghetti strap (or halter *GASP*) anything, longing forlornly for the ability to flount about with the carefree attitude that (surely, must) come with anything C or lower. and i have never turned the car around. except that one time i forgot my bra.
  27. Cait July 16, 2018 at 1:15 am #
    We never had the car turned around but my dad definitely followed through on a threat to kick us out of the car and leave us on the side of the road! Put my sister and I on the side of the road and then drove off (probably only 20 metres away!). It was probably about halfway into a 15 hour drive through the red dust that is country Western Australia, so I think I would have done it in his position too!
  28. Emily of The Three Bite Rule July 16, 2018 at 11:20 am #
    The car wasn't turned around, but when we didn't offer to help and just went to the car to go to the town pool, my mom let us sit there & sweat until we came in to see what was taking so long. We were definitely old enough to carry a bag of our towels/snacks/etc. I also remember my sister having to come when she didn't get to have an ice cream. She still had to be with the family...aka watch the rest of us. My parents also had an even-odd rule for front seat access. There was no fighting, just a family rule based on our birth year. Man, they were hardcore compared to how they now cater to their grandchildren!
  29. Kay O'Brien July 16, 2018 at 11:53 am #
    Not a true "turn the car around" but an equally sick mom win and family favorite story: my aunt and cousins (twin girls) were on their way to Dairy Queen and my cousins would not stop fighting with each other. My aunt just kept saying "Stop it or you're not getting to Dairy Queen!" but never actually turned around so they didn't believe her. They got there, she got out of the car, came back with an ice cream cone for just herself, then turned around and went home. I don't think they've ever gotten over that moment.
  30. Hannah July 17, 2018 at 10:50 am #
    My school bus driver turned the SCHOOL BUS around mid route because people wouldn't sit down. She drove us all of the way back to school, then got reprimanded because you can't just kidnap a bus full of children when their parents are waiting for them at the bus stop.

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