Friday Flotsam

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Morning Glories on a trellis

DOES PAT SAJAK EVER GET SICK?

Think about this, does Pat Sajak ever.get.sick? He’s been on the Wheels for 8 hundred million years, every single night, and I’ve NEVER SEEN A STAND IN. NEVER SEEN A SUB.

What happens if Pat Sajak gets sick!? What would they do? He must drink bone broth.

(I’ve never had bone broth. I have some in my pantry, but I’m saving it for a cold day with more leaves on the ground.)

How does it work though!? Does Wheel record like, three episodes per day for a few months, and then he takes the rest of the year off? Or do they film every day, strap him down and spoon feed him Echinacea dust and orange rinds?

Pat Sajak can’t get sick!

Ever!

This is clearly stressing me out on irrational levels.

Will and donuts

I realize this is a photo of donuts (doughnuts?), but I have cheese dip on the brain. Hashtag always.

But listen to this, the other day Aaron came home with a jar of cheese dip. Tostitos cheese dip. And I was like, “Gross dude. Why didn’t you get something better?” And he said, “There was no other brand! I looked.” And I was like, “Did you?” (said like Jason Bateman in Arrested Development – “is she?”)

MIND YOU IT’S JARRED CHEESE DIP. I know. I can feel the wave of your collective eyeball rolls.

But it got me wondering – is there a good jarred cheese dip? Does this even exist?

LISTEN, I even bought a $9 (NINE STUPID DOLLARS) jar of fancy cheese dip at a local cheese shop not too long ago, and it did nothing for me. Absolutely zilch. Nada.

Why do they all taste like a chemical plant?! Like a toxic spill bubbling up out of a butthole?

If you know of a good jarred cheese dip, a LOOP HOLE IN THE SYSTEM, and you’ve been holding out on me? Well, shame. Can’t even look at you.

Okay, still love you. But tell me about this jarred cheese dip right meow.

Heeeey-ohhhh, my second Food Network episode is up!

Never mind that fantastic DOUBLE CHIN I have going on. You’ll see more of it during the episode. That thing is on tour.

Flowers and toddler hands

Can we talk about hair?

Er, hair DYE? (don’t delete me from your life.)

Guys, I feel like I JUST GOT my hair done five minutes ago, and it’s totally back to the dishwasher blond it was before I went in. And I want to scream. Hair is bonkers expensive! And I’m not ready to go back innnnnnnnaaaaa. (<–that’s me whining like my three years olds.)

I know at-home hair dyeing is totally scary and an awful, horrible idea. TALK ME DOWN FROM THE LEDGE.

But before I jump, have things changed at all with hair dyes?! Are there any current bad-to-the-bone brands that are worth looking into?

You’re like, just slather some garbage jarred cheese dip on your head BECAUSE IT’S THE SAME THING.

I get it. Okay.

Gremlins in Eureka Springs

Weekend plans?

Oh! Two fun things from the webotron this week, juuust in case you missed it on my other obnoxious highways of blabbertown. Our home was featured on Houzz! And yesterday morning I spoke on our local NPR radio station about the possible dying age of blogging. Peep those if you dig. No pressure though. Just being breezy. “You can’t say you’re breezy! That totally negates the breezy!” (<–name that show.)

Also, say “jarred cheese dip” five times fast.

Bye bye, now.

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19 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Klara Donovan September 22, 2017 at 7:59 am #
    Oh man. I spent three quarters of that blog post mis-reading "jarred cheese dip" as "jarrad cheese dip". And I was just like, what is jarrad cheese dip? Who is Jarrad? Is Jarrad a type of cheese in the US? A brand? It's OK, I obviously wrapped my 8.54pm-mum-brain around the fact that you're talking about cheese dip in a JAR and now I'm just going to move on with my life/go to bed. BY the way I've never had any jarred cheese dip, ever. Maybe it's not a thing in Australia, which is probably not the worst, based on your review of it. We also don't have canned crescent rolls here. So any time I come across a quick American recipe that incorporates canned crescent roll dough, I have to either not bother making it, or make my own crescent rolls from scratch which DEFINITELY negates the whole quick-recipe thing. So that actually is the worst.
    • Shawnna September 22, 2017 at 10:36 am #
      OMG I did the same thing! Jared cheese dip?? Jared, like the Subway guy? WHO IS JARRED!?
      • jessica September 25, 2017 at 11:01 am #
        Me three! Jared Leto cheese dip? ha!
  2. Becky Zea September 22, 2017 at 9:45 am #
    Oh Lawdy. DO NOT COLOR YOUR HAIR AT HOME. I am one of those people you give all of your hard earned money to to do your hair, and I can tell you now that maintenance is much cheaper than a $600 color correction to fix whatever the heck happened at home because Aunt Carol thought she could color your hair. Don't. Do. It. XoXo
  3. karina odde September 22, 2017 at 10:01 am #
    use purple shampoo! it gives your hair that little lift for rainy days and makes the colour last so much longer. i recommend fudge's clean blonde violet toning shampoo, it smells soo good
  4. Caitlin Wallace September 22, 2017 at 11:44 am #
    Bev: Like a toxic spill bubbling up out of a butthole? 😂
  5. Tara September 22, 2017 at 11:55 am #
    I second the purple shampoo suggestion. My blonde hair always ends up going very yellow and brassy blonde if I do not use purple shampoo. Please make sure that you read the directions though because with some shampoos you have to leave it in your hair for 3 to 5 minutes and others you rinse it right out. I made the mistake of just using it like normal shampoo for months before finally reading the instructions because it was not doing anything for my hair. Turns out the kind that I got you were supposed to leave in for up to five minutes and it has made a huge difference. Clairol makes a good one. I've been able to go much longer between hair appointments as well. Good luck!
  6. Sarah September 22, 2017 at 12:14 pm #
    Welp, feel free to throw tomatoes at me, because I believe that there is a time and place for jarred cheese dip. And that place is on a wiz wit. No provolone, no fancy cheese, gimme dat cheez-wiz. Mac and cheese calls for gruyere and cheddar, pizza calls for good mozzarella, and wiz wits need cheez-wiz. Sorry dudes. I promise I'm a good cook and use good ingredients most of the time! HA!
  7. Kimberly September 22, 2017 at 12:28 pm #
    I third the purple shampoo. Mine is the leave in for 3-5 minutes kind and *bonus* it turns your cuticles blue if you don't rinse your hands super quick too! That is from Friends when Monica leaves Richard a message on his answering machine after she checks his messages and she plays it back for The Gang and Joey says it!
  8. Jessica September 22, 2017 at 1:16 pm #
    What about the sausage and rotel and cream cheese dip? It's even better than jarred cheese dip!
    • Jennifer September 25, 2017 at 11:57 am #
      I have never seen the cream cheese mixed in with sausage and rotel! I do cream cheese with a can of Chili or the velveta, rotel, and sometimes mix in meat!
  9. Christine September 22, 2017 at 4:41 pm #
    I heard you on NPR!! I listen every day while at work and when I heard the introduction I was like: YES, THAT'S MY GIRL!!! I've been a reader of your blog for years and it was just kinda weird HEARING YOU rather than reading you. Was cool to hear your story. I have to admit I'm not an Instagram person and I just don't get SnapChat and Twitter, etc... so I hope you never stop blogging because I would miss you :)) ps-- I'm a fellow Kansas City resident too
  10. Casey September 22, 2017 at 11:43 pm #
    I can totes fill you in on Wheel of Fortune! I rocked an episode once (January 20, 2013 to be specific). A couple times a month, they film six full episodes in a day. Filming an episode takes a half hour so it's not even that bad of a day! Pat can absolutely get sick but two days a month he needs to be good to go. P.S. jarred cheese dip is gross
  11. Bryn Broussard September 23, 2017 at 5:31 am #
    Maddison Reed hair dye. I honestly cannot say enough fantastic things about it. AND, I'm a redhead and thought I had the right color but decided to send in a picture of myself just in case. I was way way off and a little nervous to go with the recommended color, but holy moly it was perfect!
  12. Ferreira Amanda September 23, 2017 at 5:47 am #
    In a pinch, Newman's Own is a good cheese product in a jar. And, bonus!, it's basically like donating money to a charity. Right?! That's what I tell myself every time I buy his doggone cookies.
  13. Kristen OBrien September 23, 2017 at 9:08 am #
    Ok. Don't color your own hair. I let mine go when I turned 40 and it took me two year to grow out. No more expense!! I get so many compliments but maybe they just feel bad...I've never felt more like me tho. I'm feeling pretty freaking graceful...and not as old as I thought I would. I'm 43 with silver highlights and four kids.
  14. christina September 26, 2017 at 3:41 pm #
    Leigh Oliver's cheese dip is delicious! Available at Whole foods! Made from real cheese!
  15. Liz October 25, 2017 at 12:46 pm #
    Re: Pat Sajak A) He is clearly bionic. B) They film 2 days a week, five episodes each of those days, and only 3 weeks per month, for several months. Also? I wish they still had to "shop" witht their prize money. Nothing like seeing someone spend $100 on a dalmation umbrella holder

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