Friday Flotsam


Friday Flotsam

Have I ever told you about the time I got my ears pierced?

You probably got yours pierced at a traditional young age at the Claire’s in the mall, like all the other normal human beings in the world, right? Not me. You guys – I WAS IN COLLEGE. I’m already regretting telling this story.

So it was 1995, and I was then going to school at Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene, Texas. It was a rainy Saturday night, and my little group of girlfriends and I were cooped up in our basement dorm rooms, catching up on our favorite VCR-recorded drama, Party of Five. (hello, JEREMY LONDON) Somehow it came up that I hadn’t yet pierced my ears (my sissy levels are that to be rivaled with), and the girls absolutely lost their faces. Without another second passing, they handcuffed and blindfolded me, forced me into my friend’s tiny red hatchback, and drove me to freaking WALMART for my impending doom. I bawled. I screamed for mercy. I shuttered at the thought of fluorescent lights burning my fair, delicate skin. I grieved the loss of innocence that my dear clip-ons would soon represent.

Mind you, it is pouring. My wide-legged skater jeans were absolutely soaked by the time we made it to Walmart. They violently shoved me out of the car, dragged my rubber chicken body into the Walmart piercing arena, where I was then thrust into a jagged, dusty electric chair. The bearded woman drew a purple circle on my left ear lobe, her eyes secreting some sort of bubbling, yellow puss – BAM. She looked into the moon and howled. I saw the very face of God. She moved to my right ear, scribbled the purple circle – BAM. I repented my sins and drank the blood of the lamb.

I will never, NEVER, never ever live that again.

And then we drove to Sonic and dissected the crumbling empire of Griffin and Julia. The end.

Tell me your story! I need these details to thrive in life.

Friday Flotsam

Speaking of crazy eyes, you GUYS.

My little baby Will has coughed so much and so hard this week that he’s busted blood vessels in BOTH EYES. He seriously looks like Dracula. It is heartbreaking. I know it’s not pink eye, because like any other psycho mom, I freaked my ish and looked it up on the devil’s playground, Web MD. His symptoms don’t match anything else related to pink eye, other than looking like he’s on the verge of a feed.

Per doc’s orders, we gave him honey, a Popsicle (he didn’t seem to mind that part. weird.) and a lil’ bit of Benadryl before bed. I never heard his coughing through the night, so we maaaay be on the up?

Aaron mentioned the word pneumonia yesterday and I basically spiraled into a pit of insanity. Googled that (like a moron) – but with his playful spirits, no fever, and willingness to eat and drink (my blood), we’re ruling that out.

I mean, he looks exactly like a vampire. I’m calling him Edward Cullen.

Gah, I miss Twilight.

Friday Flotsam


I’m not going to get excited. I bet it’s a hoax. Do you think it’s a hoax? It has an actual AIR DATE, so it might not be. I spent three and a half hours (duh) reading about this yesterday and it sounds like it might not be an EPISODE, but more like, interviews and reminiscing and such. LAME.

Still, I’m so excited!!!!! Sort of.

Also, how pumped are you for Fuller House? I’m afraid to watch it around Aaron, for fear he’ll light our TV on fire. Anytime I mention it, all I get in response is a pile of moans and grumps and mumbled words like, “eat plant fertilizer” and, “end it all.”

Friday Flotsam

However! One thing that Aaron and I vowed to at the beginning of this year, was to date more. Schedule actual dates, with little themes (because I’m a giant nerd), book a baby sitter and get out of the house for an hour or40.

I proposed the first date idea for early February – Burgers, Beers and Bowling! Which, on the surface you might think I’m a dude. But truthfully, I just want to bowl, dang it. And I feel like burgers and beers just go hand-in-hand. Also, I’m a dude.

What are some more ideas for us!? Of course movies, blah blah. Dinners, yadda yadda. But I want ACTIVITIES. Like, going and painting an old fat naked man while drinking prosecco. Hahahahaha!! I’m so getting divorced.

Friday Flotsam

Weekend plans? Tonight we’re making pizza, using Jessica’s famous pizza crust! A simple Hawaiian twist, with pineapples, Canadian bacon and thinly sliced jalapeno. I’d like to watch a movie, too. Not our usual forensics murder marathon. Which I’ll never tire of! Except for today. I want a movie today. What should we watch!?

You’re with me on the whole painting an old fat naked man while drinking prosseco, right? I thought so.



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25 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Dawn January 15, 2016 at 8:03 am #
    Ummm, I totally got my ears pierced in 1995. While I was in college. Although, I just went quietly with my high school boyfriend to the salon that did my hair and nails. I will tell you what, though. If I wasn't too conservative to walk around with just one ear pierced (after enduring that agony, letting it just close was not an option either), I would have stopped after the first one. HOLY CRAP. (Also, am huge wuss.) But I toughed it out, got the second one, and vowed that I was *never* doing that again. And I haven't. One hole in each ear, the end. I am thrilled about Fuller House, but I will have to watch it after my husband goes to bed. And I'll probably still be able to hear him rolling his eyes from there. And I'm not getting excited about a Friends "actor reunion." If they're not in character, it doesn't count.
    • Heather January 18, 2016 at 2:36 pm #
      I got my ears pierced by my friends auntie with a special ear piercing needle and an ice cube. This was fairly tolerable and very exciting! She then pulled a piece of string equivalent to dental floss through the hole and knotted it. I was to leave it in for several days until the hole healed and then I could use real earrings. I was so excited to have my ears pierced and continually touched my ear and the string all day at school The story got "interesting" after I accidentally pulled the string out of my ear. By the time I got home and tried to put a real earring in, the hole had partially closed. I cried to my mother who quickly boiled a sewing needle and proceeded to reopen the hole. The needle when into the originally hole but slowly came out of a new hole in the back of my earlobe.( ##*@*)Moral of story, go to Claires, or even walmart. "Far from the Madding Crowd" awesome movie from the Thomas Harding book!
    • Anonymous January 21, 2016 at 1:46 pm #
      You are sooooo ridiculous! Honestly, I look forward to your blog for my own out loud laughs. Wish you were my neighbor. Or, mild mannered stalker. Anyway, got my beauties pierced with a sewing needle rammed through a raw potato half with my ear lobe in-between. Yup. You had it easy!
  2. Mo January 15, 2016 at 8:17 am #
    Umm, I worked at the local store where a nurse came in and pierced ears on a Saturday. But they left the piercing device there, so sometimes, when we were bored, we'd do it ourselves, resulting in 3 in one ear, 2 in the other. In the 80s that was totally ok for 16 year old girls to be doing. We were punk in the suburbs!! Hope Will is on the mend. Although everyone is talking about Making a Murderer, which was interesting, as movies go the documentary The Staircase was very ahead of its time in that genre. As is Capturing the Friedmans. For fiction, the movie The Gift with Jason Bateman and Joel Edgerton is really good. Tense more than scary.
    • Bev Weidner January 16, 2016 at 4:37 pm #
      Definitely watched both Making a Murderer (over Christmas), and The Staircase (about 9 years ago)! LOVED both. It was actually The Staircase that catapulted me into my psychotic love for forensics. But I'll definitely look into Capturing the Friedmans, and The Gift! Thaaaaank ya.
  3. Steph January 15, 2016 at 9:07 am #
    In high school my friend and I pierced eachothers ears multiple times with a safety pin. But I also pierced my tongue when I was 18 at a clothing store. So... Date ideas, picnics, roller skating, museums, art exhibitions, concerts
  4. Becca January 15, 2016 at 9:44 am #
    I got a groupon for a couples massage. I wanted to do an activity but we've also been working out more so I thought it would be fun to get pampered. No idea what to expect with a bargain massage, if anything hopefully we'll get a good story out of it!
  5. Katie January 15, 2016 at 9:50 am #
    I had my ears pierced in when I was 5 years old (at Claire's!), and the freaky ear piercing gun got jammed up while my ear lobe was still in it! The gun was hanging from my ear until they could get it out! To make up for the PTSD that I endured, Claire's let me pick out a pair of earrings for you know I went for the 10 earring set of multi-colored hearts.
  6. Angie January 15, 2016 at 10:08 am #
    Hubby and I are going to watch Love Actually tonight in honor of Alan Rickman. One of my favorite movies and didn't get a chance to watch it at Christmas time.
  7. Leigh January 15, 2016 at 10:09 am #
    As a young child, my mom insisted I could not get my ears pierced until I was 13. But on my 7th birthday she bundled me in the car and drove me to the Foxy Lady salon for this much-anticipated rite of passage. It hurt and I cried, and my mom bought me a pack of Rolo's out of the vending machine afterwards. Nearly 33 years later, I still think of this memory every time I see Rolo's. It's wonderful.
  8. Natalia January 15, 2016 at 10:10 am #
    I had my ears pierced when I was 3 days old (not kidding at all) Almost every baby girl here (Uruguay) gets her ears pierced by a nurse days after she's born, which is kinda horrible, on the other side, is still better than being dragged soaking wet to get them pierced during your teenage years. About Twilight.. EDWARD AND BELLA FOREVAH, but no, seriously, poor little Will, hope he gets better soon. And don't even get me started about the whole Friends thing, I don't wanna get my hopes up. Enjoy de weekend with lotsa foooood and vampires!
  9. Rosa parks January 15, 2016 at 10:53 am #
    well I got my ears done when I was about ten my aunt said you need to get your ears pierced like everyone else and I said oh okay well I thought we were going to a store well was I wrong she went to the freezer got out an ice cube got a potato froze my ear and put the potato brhnd it and pushed the needle through my ear it didn't hrt much but it wascrazy so I thought and that was in the sixtys.
  10. Nicole January 15, 2016 at 11:04 am #
    I got my ears pierced at 13. My best friend couldn't take it anymore and she took me to claires to get it done. It wasn't too bad, that wasn't the traumatic part. What did end up happening is that I developed really large scar tissue called keloids (google it) on both ears and I let the holes close. I had to have surgery to get the keloids removed, I was 17. I went to the dermatologist at 30 to see if I could get my ears pierced but the doc said the keloids would come back worse. So as I approach 40 its kinda funny to me to say I do not have pierced ears.
  11. Shaina January 15, 2016 at 11:59 am #
    I got my ears pierced (the first time) at 7, which was truly uneventful and did happen in the mall. My sister, on the other hand, got hers pierced when I somehow convinced our babysitter that getting my 4yo sister's ears pierced at the mall was a good idea (without my mom's permission). My oldest daughter, currently approaching 16 (also quickly approaching the age at which I had her), still does not have pierced ears. When she wanted them around age 4, I told her the story of how they do it: by sticking a gun to your ear that shoots a needle through the skin. She abstained. Then she became a swimmer, which makes it difficult to pierce your ears, as it turns out. She has not forgiven me. Her younger sister has double piercings, received at the normal age, the first in the mall at 6, second in a tattoo shop at 8. What else do you give your 8yo but a view of the finest body piercings displayed all over the wall in front of her? I have 6 holes in my ears at present, 1 in my tongue (age 16, which required me to lie about that fact), and 1 in my nose. I always tell my kids that I'll go sign the form for them to get their piercings at a respectable place and not some random shack off a two-lane highway in the middle of nowhere by a guy named Spyder who won't check your ID. Unless, you know, you swim year round and can't carve out 6 weeks to let that puppy heal. #sorrykid
  12. Beth J January 15, 2016 at 12:08 pm #
    Ha I got my ears pierced at 15. More years ago than I will admit to. The only way my Mom would allow it was if our family doctor did it! She had a needle with silver wire attached to it. Seriously she numbed my ears with something pier ed theme and made crazy looking hoops. In my rebellious years I pierced my own until I had ten holes in one ear and three in the other. Still do but rarely fill them ??
  13. tracy January 15, 2016 at 12:31 pm #
    I got my ears pierced when I was little at a place like Claire's, I'm sure, but I don't remember it. They then closed up after not wearing any earrings forever and so I pierced them by myself in my bedroom with safety pins and ice when I was like 20 years old.
  14. Heather Buzby January 15, 2016 at 1:30 pm #
    My ear piercing story: my parents said I had to wait until I was 10, I convinced them when I was 7. I noticed that my friends in ballet class only ever had holes (no earrings) so I assumed that was the cool thing and didn't wear earrings and of course they closed up. So I had to wait to have them redone until I was 10 and then my mom actually did it with me. But of course both times it was at a drug store with a near-retirement aged lady telling how pretty it would be, (gag!). I miss the days of stick on earrings, haha!
  15. Michelle January 15, 2016 at 2:30 pm #
    I was 8 years old. It was the 90s, and I was wearing Mickey Mouse overalls (OMG) and a sparkly purple hair clip in my hair (why do I remember this?). It was at Claire's, because obviously. However, they got infected and pretty much NEVER HEALED. Whenever I would try to switch pairs of neon flower earrings, it would involve screaming and crying to get through the pain. I finally let them close up and then repeated the whole scenario a year later when my aunt took me to get them redone. Never had a problem after that. And because my mom had PTSD from the whole thing, she said I wasn't allowed to get second holes in my ears until I was 18. I took this as a challenge, and on my 18th birthday I dragged her to the nearest Claire's and got my second holes pierced. Plot twist: so did she!
  16. Debbie D. January 15, 2016 at 2:36 pm #
    Had mine done in college. Just decided one day that a single pearl post earring in each ear would always look good and was acceptable whether one was at a fancy dinner party, work, school or just hanging around. Found a store at the mall, (major department store) that did it and you could have a pearl earring as your first earring, not the normal stud they put in there. Person doing it (I think she was a nurse--she dressed like one), put the purple ink on each of my ear lobes, gave me a mirror to see if they were where I wanted them, and were even. Then she took a large darning needle and a cork. Put the cork in the back of my ear and shoved the darning needle through my ear lobe. Can you say, OWWWWW! She then put the earring in the ear and moved onto the next one. Can you say, OWWWWW again? Then we had to turn the suckers so the earring wouldn't get "stuck". I recall after I tried to sleep the first night (both my ears were so sore and I normally don't sleep on my back), I moved the earrings first thing in the morning. I will never forget the sound that they made moving through the cartilage in my ear. A very distinct squeaking sound. UGH! I also recall the first time I couldn't find the back hole for the post to go into on my ear lobe. After 15 minutes, I pushed the post through the skin and made a second hole. I was one frustrated person. Needless to say, I go without earrings more than with. Turns out I am allergic to nickel and I also don't do well with the surgical posts either. I still have scar tissue from where she pierced my ears. Would I do it again, probably not.
  17. Laura Lee January 15, 2016 at 3:23 pm #
    When my twins were 6 month and right before Christmas they both had colds. My Son's cough wad really bad so I took them to Dr. Turns out my daughter had viral pneumonia and she didn't sound bad at all! Now I say Santa brought her pneumonia for her first Christmas. Got my ears pierced at a jewelry store when I was 13. Nothing eventful though. I will take my girl when she's 13 to get hers done too.
  18. Jor January 16, 2016 at 4:15 pm #
    There are a lot of things in this post that I'm going gaga over. Like both of your bags. And the little wooden plates. I swear by Chestal cough syrup. It's homeopathic so no alcohol or ichy flavors and it's made with honey. They sell it at Whole Foods and fancy pharmacies. I know they have a children's formula. Might be a good thing to keep on hand. I like your doctor's approach though. Hope Will feels better!
  19. Terri January 18, 2016 at 4:13 pm #
    Twelve years old. Neighbor girl's mom. Numbing of ears with ice. Sewing needle soaked in rubbing alcohol. Potato behind the ear. Bam! That's my story. Did lil Will man get his first hairs cut? I'm so excited to hear about your love for bowling! Confirms all things cool about you! Can't get my hub to buy into the bowling gig, sad really. I've even offered the gutter guards, but no (sigh...) How about a Wild, Water, Wine Night? Not sure if they have any fun water parks in your back KC doors? Your grems are too young, so it might be nice for you and A. Maybe the "Wild" can be crazy wild bathing suits ensuring maximum stare?! Is this a dumb idea? It is isn't it? I have a habit of dumb ideas...... (SIGH.....)
  20. Michelle @ Feed Me I'm Hungry January 19, 2016 at 9:08 pm #
    I usually drink my prosecco without the naked man, but it sounds like it could be fun so I'm in. :) Sadly I am a Clair's piercing so no fun story there. Dates: Laser tag or paint balling!
  21. Kristen@accidentallydomesticated January 20, 2016 at 9:32 am #
    All of these ear piercing stories are making me wince. Oh my. Bev, please, if Natalie ever gets her ears pierced, please take her to a professional piercer. Not the teenager named Princess at Claires (true story), or the girls at piercing pagoda with 0 training. Although, everyone who got their ears pierced at home with a single needle had a far more sanitary experience than anyone who has gone and gotten it done with a piercing gun! Buzz, your girlfriend, WOOF!
  22. Voskosmos February 9, 2016 at 8:09 am #
    I’m a bit late to the party because I have loads of blog reading to catch up on. But I wanted to share my own ear pierce horror story! I had them pierced when I was 18, in a jewelry store in my town. The lady did my right ear first, no problem, and then she wanted to do the left ear. She placed the piercing gun on my ear, shot it, and I could feel it getting stuck in my ear. She said: “Oops.” Now let me tell you, that’s not something you want to hear when someone is shooting sharp objects into your earlobe. Turns out that she did get the gun stuck, and she had to retry to get it right the second time. So by then, my left earlobe was f’d up. The day after I left with my friends to go road tripping in Morocco, so in the following weeks I didn’t have the right products (or a mirror) to keep my inflamated (don’t know if that’s the right word) ear clean. Then one morning, still in Morocco, when I woke up I noticed that my little earring (the one you have to keep in for a couple of weeks after the piercing) was gone. The part behind my ear was still there, but the little knob in front was gone. Do you know where it went? IN MY EARLOBE!! It got stuck IN MY EARLOBE while I was sleeping, and the skin already formed again in the hours after. So I had to literally push the little knob out of my own flesh. I think I’m going to throw up thinking about it again. That was my story, lots of love from Belgium!

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