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Portobello Mushrooms with Kale Pesto Guacamole

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These here mushroom thingies are the new black.

mush9noodle

The new black, along with lots of bright greens, pops of white and earthy browns. So I guess you can erase what I just said. But not really because I wasn’t meaning it literally, even though two sentences ago made it sound like I was. So I guess you don’t have to erase what I just said. I swear, this post is already a complete disaster. Let me start over.

These here mushroom thingies are absolutely, beyond the shadow of a doubt, tow up.

mush1noodle

And they were a happy accident too! I’ll tell ya how it all went down.

Video dudes were over a couple of weeks ago, ya know, and they brought some extra food props in case we needed some, ya know. (When I was a teen my mom hated when I said “ya know” five million times per sentence, so this paragraph is going to be my homage to her and her despisal of awesome teen language.) And these mushrooms were a part of that stash, ya know, but we didn’t end up using ‘em, ya know, so the next day I sat at my kitchen table with all three of them on a little white tray, and I pet their little caps, asking them, “what shall we do with you little fellas today?” as drool pooled up between my bottom lip and teeth. I’m totally kidding I didn’t pet them! I’m not that much of a dweebo creepster.

mush2noodle  mush3noodle

(I totally pet them.)

mush4noodle  mush5noodle

And then it hit me, just like that time you realized that watching Live with Kelly and Michael actually makes you want to punch your own face, I know what I’ll do! I’ll combine all forces of brilliance ever known and…AND….ANDDDDDDD.

This.

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I’mon just say it. Kale Pesto + Guacamole  + Delicate Roasted Mushroom Caps = whuuuuuuuutiiiiiiiisthaaaaaat.

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I’ll tell you what it is, slice. It’s domination mouthal nation. It’s fist bumpin’ central station. It’s portobello cap ovulation. It’s . . . wait what?

mush6noodle

In other words, you have no other choice in life.

Portobello Mushrooms with Kale Pesto Guacamole:

What it took for 3 servings: Meaning 3 caps: Okay bye:

* 3 portobello mushrooms, stems twisted right out and caps lightly rinsed
* 2 cups baby kale leaves
* 1-2 Tbs. pine nuts, lightly toasted
* 1/3 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
* 3 cloves garlic
* 4 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, divided
* 1 pinch coarse salt
* 1 avocado
* 1/4 cup crumbled queso fresco
* salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 450.

Lightly rub a good Tbs. or so of oil on the caps. Place them, cap side down, on a foil-lined rimmed baking sheet. Sprinkle the gills with a little salt and pepper. Roast them for a good 15 minutes, until they’re soft and divine. There will probably be a pool of juice in the gills after all that roasting. You can just sort of tip that out onto the foil. And then start a band called Pool of Juice.

Meanwhile, place the kale, pine nuts, cheese, garlic, and a good pinch of salt in a food processor. With the motor running, add the remaining 3 Tbs. oil until you get pesto.

BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE.

Mash up your avocado until it’s all smooth. Then add the pesto. Just dump it in. Then stir it all up. Can you even begin to believe this? Taste it. Okay now get off the floor and taste it again.

Spoon a good amount of pesto guac into each roasted cap, and top with the crumbed queso fresco.

Duuuuuuuuudes.

mush10noodle-2

Hip. Hop. Ya. Don’t. Stop.

 

 

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72 Responses to Portobello Mushrooms with Kale Pesto Guacamole

  1. Cassie | Bake Your Day February 6, 2013 at 8:32 am #

    I would eat this every day. Totally drooling!

  2. Mountaincat February 6, 2013 at 8:50 am #

    This looks really yummy, but I have a totally non-related issue. Has anyone heard anything more about the 50 Shades movie? I’m tired of wondering. Thanks!

  3. Brian @ A Thought For Food February 6, 2013 at 9:02 am #

    Ok… I’d NEVER thought to do this. You are a smart cookie! ;-)

  4. Heather @ Heather's Dish February 6, 2013 at 9:27 am #

    Gimme gimme gimme!

  5. Kare @ Kitchen Treaty February 6, 2013 at 9:30 am #

    I. Love. This. I’m a freak for kale pesto and for portobellos and avocados so yeah, this was pretty much made for me.

    And you couldn’t be more right about Kelly & Michael.

  6. Little Kitchie February 6, 2013 at 9:42 am #

    I want this for lunch. Send one over to my work? Thanks bye.

  7. Sommer@ASpicyPerspective February 6, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    So Dang Pretty!

  8. a farmer in the dell February 6, 2013 at 10:05 am #

    Im diving head first into this right now!

  9. Katie February 6, 2013 at 10:32 am #

    You had me at KALE PESTO GUACAMOLE. For heavens sake…I want to live inside your food brain for just ONE hour.

  10. Kari@Loaves n Dishes February 6, 2013 at 10:54 am #

    I love how your mind works!

  11. Lauren @ Climbing Grier Mountain February 6, 2013 at 11:18 am #

    Duuuuuude! I’m totally digging these mushrooms. AND the kale pesto guacamole….forget about it!

  12. Shea @ Dixie Chik Cooks February 6, 2013 at 11:36 am #

    Kale pesto guacamole?? Fabulous!

  13. Liz @ The Lemon Bowl February 6, 2013 at 11:44 am #

    Will you please sell your various pestos in a store? Say, Target? K. Thanks.

  14. Nicole @ youngbrokeandhungry February 6, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    Kale pesto guacamole?! What the what?! I am loving this recipe.

  15. Jackie @ The Beeroness February 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm #

    You’re my hero

  16. Emma February 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm #

    Wow! I adore portobello mushrooms and guacamole, what an ingenious combination. Great photography. I really like your blog. Please check out the food blog I have just started http://www.surreyKitchen.wordpress.com. Thanks!

  17. Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar February 6, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    Yuussss! This sounds so fabulous!

  18. Averie @ Averie Cooks February 6, 2013 at 3:22 pm #

    Bev this is awesome! I love how puffy and well-stuffed and awesome they look! Love portobellos!

  19. Heather Christo February 6, 2013 at 3:44 pm #

    My 5 year old says “ya know” every 5 seconds, ya know? Only you can make mushrooms stuffed with kale so gorgeous and delicious looking :)

  20. sara @ three blondes & a tomas February 6, 2013 at 4:34 pm #

    um… yum!!!!!

  21. Georgia @ The Comfort of Cooking February 6, 2013 at 5:10 pm #

    Love this, and my vegetarian parents would too! Looks super deilcious Bev.

  22. Sylvie @ Gourmande in the Kitchen February 6, 2013 at 6:03 pm #

    Now that’s a stuffed mushroom! Wow, seriously inspired.

  23. Julie @ Table for Two February 6, 2013 at 7:10 pm #

    good gosh, this looks freaking phenomenal!!

  24. Shanna February 6, 2013 at 7:37 pm #

    Mmmmmmmmmm!! Yum! I am definitely going to be making these this weekend!

  25. Erika @ The Hopeless Housewife February 6, 2013 at 7:46 pm #

    Such a creative dish and delicious!

  26. Lindsay @ VeganYumminess February 6, 2013 at 7:52 pm #

    Thinking of doing a vegan spin-off of this as a gluten free Valentine’s menu option. Y to the YUM!!

  27. Stephanie @ Eat. Drink. Love. February 6, 2013 at 9:23 pm #

    Oh goodness, this looks fabulous, ya know?

  28. Heidi @foodiecrush February 6, 2013 at 11:20 pm #

    Youve certainly covered all of my major food grops. Ya’ know?

  29. Miss @ Miss in the Kitchen February 6, 2013 at 11:40 pm #

    I’ll take ninety of these!

  30. Ross | TheFaceBaby February 7, 2013 at 12:51 am #

    I have yet to meet a guac variation that I don’t like. But this … I want to chug. And stuffed inside mushrooms? It’s like you know me or something.

    Oh and I’m tempted to add a “what the heck happened to the Jayhawks tonight?” comment (which I know, I’m doing anyway), but there is no point in debating what happened. Two points in 14 minutes. Most hockey teams score more than that. Ai yai yaiiiiiiii.

    • Bev Weidner February 7, 2013 at 6:59 am #

      I didn’t watch but I heard it was a disaaaaaaster. But it’s okay, the season’s still young. (did saying that make me sound cool and sporty? because I’m not convinced.)

      • Ross | TheFaceBaby February 10, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

        You should probably audition to be Digger Phelps’ replacement when he retires… suuuuuper cool and sporty. But for reallio, are we on some kind of “screw it let’s just lose every game until March” kinda kick here? I’m not amused!

  31. Top Cuisine avec Lavi February 7, 2013 at 7:40 am #

    Looks delicious! Great recipe! Love your site!

  32. Katie @ Blonde Ambition February 7, 2013 at 7:22 pm #

    Omg, why has no one else ever thought of mixing pesto and guacamole? Best two things everrrr.

  33. Mushrooms Canada February 8, 2013 at 11:46 am #

    WOW! I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing these look! Pesto and guac are two of my favourites….but together?! Magic. Thanks for sharing…

    -Shannon

  34. Brandon @ Kitchen Konfidence February 8, 2013 at 4:14 pm #

    Wow, beautiful! I’m thinking I would squeeze some lime juice over top.

  35. Kevin (Closet Cooking) February 10, 2013 at 10:00 am #

    Adding avocado to kale pesto is a great idea and those mushrooms look really good!

  36. Cookie and Kate February 10, 2013 at 1:22 pm #

    The new black, tow up, ya know, whatever you want to call these mushrooms… I’m into them. So into them.

    P.s. Let’s hang out soon.

  37. Esther at A,B,C,Vegan February 14, 2013 at 8:23 am #

    Made these vegan yesterday with nutritional yeast instead of parm and vegan parm (and toasted pecans!) on top instead of the queso fresco – SO GOOD. Thanks! Had never thought of those combinations – brilliant. :)

  38. Nell Bentley February 15, 2013 at 11:36 pm #

    Next time I think I’ll make homemade pesto as a gift since it’s about a thousand times better for you than fudge, but still a nice homemade gift.

  39. dixya @ food, pleasure, and health February 19, 2013 at 12:57 pm #

    this is what i call an IDEAL MEAL. I could eat pesto, guac every day if could and now this recipe combined everything- love love love it.

  40. Sarah February 22, 2013 at 4:35 pm #

    Good recipe. But FYI Tow-Up means bad. Like a mess from the feet up. So describing your dish in its opening paragraph as tow up is not necessarily a good idea.

    • Bev Weidner February 22, 2013 at 5:23 pm #

      Oh, I was always use words to mean different things! Tow up, as in, deliciously tow up. That’s just me. :) But thank you!

      • Liz M August 8, 2013 at 10:48 am #

        Let me apologize in advance for being a word-root/grammar geek. I think the phrase is “toe up” which I think means “come on up” as in get your toes to the edge of the bar and have some! But it’s toe, not tow. You are right, “toes up” is bad, because it means someone has died.

        Now I’m done being a word nerd. I am going to try this recipe later this week when we have guests. I have kale out the wazoo.

        • Bev Weidner August 8, 2013 at 11:10 am #

          Oh I know! And you’re so right. I just like to spell that word in a weird way, and have it mean, “totally crazy you’ll flipping flip your flip.” ;)

  41. Carissa February 27, 2013 at 12:50 am #

    i haven’t had a chance to make this yet but your recipe looks divine! I’ve included you in a round up of the 25 tastiest kale recipes I could find on the interwebs. It lives here: http://www.creativegreenliving.com/2013/02/25-great-ways-to-eat-kale.html

    Thanks again for the great recipe!

  42. Kirsty February 28, 2013 at 4:24 pm #

    I don’t know if you are aware but most parmesan cheeses contain’s calf rennet and isn’t vegetarian, and as a new veggie I was really surprised to find this out. I don’t know if you’d like to ammend the recipe or put a side note about the parmesan? However I will be making this recipe with feta cheese instead :)

    • Joe April 3, 2013 at 7:55 pm #

      get kosher Parmesan cheese — no meat

  43. Heather Physioc March 4, 2013 at 6:49 pm #

    Oh. My. God. We made this tonight at my house. This is THE best recipe. Possibly ever. Of all time? Of all time. It’s quick, easy and DELICIOUS. I had spinach on-hand instead of arugula and it made a perfectly suitable substitute, but I’ll be trying it with arugula very, VERY soon. Thank you so much for sharing! <3

  44. Shannon March 25, 2013 at 8:26 am #

    Oh em gee, it’s like all my favorite ingredients in one dish. Thanks so much for posting, definitely trying this sometime soon!

  45. Maureen June 17, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

    I was so irritated by Bev’s overdone, adolecent, and unsuccessful attempts at being clever I lost my appatite for what could have been a great recipe. Just give us the great photos and a straight forward recipe. If we want humor, we’ll go to a different web site.

    • Erin October 25, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

      What a shame. I bet your high horse would have loved these pesto mushrooms! :D

  46. Erin October 25, 2013 at 6:45 pm #

    I respect and appreciate the way that you write recipes. Bro fist through the monitor.

  47. Derek the Zen Chef June 11, 2014 at 12:01 am #

    Thanks for sharing this – I will surely try it!

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