Snow Day with Twins. And Wine.

It snowed in Kansas City! It always snows here, so I have no idea why I just got so enthusiastic.

Let me start over. We had our first snow day with the babes! Actually, they were born on a snowy day, so never mind.

Let me try again. I never got out of my robe yesterday! Truth be told, I hardly ever get ou – you know what. Let’s just move on.

Even though I’m home TWENTYFOURSEVEN (insert all of the noose emoticons here) with them, it felt different with Aaron home. With the snow falling. With the fire blazin’. With an open bottle of wine at 2pm.

Oh relax, I’m kidding!

We opened the bottle at 1:30.

I yoinked Aaron’s wool socks for the day. And obviously ignored cleaning the plant shelf. Snow day!

We kept the vibe super cozy all day long. I felt it important to show the twins what true relaxation is. Because it’s not like they sleep for hours and hours on en – oh.

Check out these rad cloth diapers. Is it awkward that I’m showing you what covers the poop and pee of my children? Better question, is it awkward that I just asked you if it was awkward showing you what covers the poop and pee of my children?

Better better question, why isn’t it called peep? Poop and peep. These are the things I think about, you guys.  (hashtag sadlife)

Can I just say that my kiddies are now in love with bath time? It took that first horrific experience to get them used to the harsh reality of true life, but now they’re into it! I also stopped putting ice cubes on their bodies, so I think that helped.

Also, do I HAVE A RED HEAD? This photo reminds me of Conan O’Brien’s promo hair shot right before he started his new show. Well let me tell you what, Mr. Will is the host of his own late night show, too, HA HA HA. Ha.

Ha.

Story time! I look like I’m reading Satan’s handbook or something to them.

Let’s just ignore my hair. I’m going blonde in a week! Just try to talk me out of it.

Don’t tell Natalie I said this, but her celebrity look alike is totally Cecil the Turtle. Sorry, Nat.

Hashtag bottlesfordays

Since they can’t talk to me, I have to move their little lips to make them communicate. “Hello, Mommy. Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look in the morning light? I especially love it when you sing opera to me. Even though you’re not technically a trained opera singer, I appreciate the effort. I think the blonde hair is going to look exquisite on you. And you know what, don’t even worry about how your belly looks like an anaconda shed its skin. You have us now. And that makes it aaaaall worth i – mom? . . .m . . . mom?”

Look how sweet Miss Natalie looks drinking her milk. This was right before the four horsemen of the apocalypse rode out of her diaper.

Then I decided to scare the kitties out of my mom by posting the below photo on Instagram and pretending the babies had been out in the snow for two hours.

She has since removed me from her will.

Will, “Listen, little sister. I am the oldest, by two entire minutes. Remember that, kid.”

Nat, “I own you.”

Hashtag timeformommy’sbottle.

The end.