FRRRRRRRRRRR RRR rrrrrr rRrrrrRRRrrrrrr er der.
Tell me, what was your VERY FIRST CONCERT?
And how old were you? I can guarantee, you’re already substantially cooler than I am.
I ask because we just bought tickets to see “Weird Al” Yankovic later this year and I’m going to explode. My 12-year old self is giddy, my 16-year old self is ecstatic, my 30-year old self is impressed, and my 45-year old self is already coming undone at the seams. We’re taking the kids! They’re going to love it! It will be their very first concert, and honestly I feel like my job here is done.
Weird Al! It’s going to be amazing.
Oh, you really do want to know what my first concert was? I thought we’d be able to get around it but I suppose not.
Sandi Patty. Ahahahahahahahah! Wait, Patti? Patty?
It was 1986, I was ten years old, and it was the Let There Be Praise WORLD TOUR, and we were there, man. This was long before the, ahem, scandal, of course. Lord. (no pun)
Tell me yours! Listen, I head into this colonoscopy at noon today and I need your answers as a distraction, okay? Spill it.
You know what I’d really like?
A letter opener.
Really, a letter opener. A long, slender aged brass letter opener.
That and a candle snuffer. No one uses a candle snuffer anymore! I guess it’s because we use our mouth breath. Actually, what IS the point of a candle snuffer? Besides the obvious. What does it achieve that a little mouth breath can’t WHY DO I CALL IT MOUTH BREATH. It’s the hunger.
Do you snuff? Wait, I mean, use a snuffer? Do you sniff?
I still want a letter opener.
Okay, I’m in the mood for an atmospheric movie this weekend. (I’m not talking about Star Wars, simmer down.)
You know the feeling you had when you first watched Lost in Translation? THAT. That feeling is what I’m after. And the same feeling you had when you watched Normal People. GIVE ME THAT. I want mood, pretty edits, incredible music, an indie feel. Whacha got? What do I need to watch this weekend?
I also plan on finally watching the Joan Didion documentary on Netflix from 2017, The Center Will Not Hold. I’ll report back on that. Is it just fantastic? I want her living room. And all her books.
Oh wait! It’s for candles way up high! The snuffer, that is. It’s for those candles you can’t reach. Right? Well if I’m getting a snuffer I might as well get a velvet cloak and a floppy sleep hat.
If one more person tells me that fasting is the ultimate connection of mind to body I will connect my fist to their face.
N O T H I N G. Surviving today, getting home, eating loads of hamburger and green bell pepper pizza, cozying up under 35 blankets and watching the snow fall. And whatever movie you suggest! (not Star Wars)
So right, is it Patti or Patty?