Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRalloweeeeeeeen!

Let’s start with the obvious.

What’s your favorite, F A V O R I T E Halloween candy?

Look, this is permission for you to get ultra trashy with it. Because there is no “good” Halloween candy. Yet, we all know there’s definitely the “good” Halloween candy. Tell me what that is for you.

And I don’t mean king size this, or jumbo size that. That’s just a therapy session (or a root canal) waiting to happen. I mean what’s your favorite CANDY. Like, do you lean toward any and all chocolate, or are you a hard candy fanatic, and crave things like Twizzlers or Jolly Ranchers? (ya sicko)

I’m a purist, when it comes to garbage candy. (oxymoron much?) Give me a mini bite-size Snickers or a Reese’s peanut butter (not frozen) cup and I’m good to go. (let’s respectfully exclude Hershey’s Kisses for Valentine’s Day and/or rest of life.)

I canNOT do things like candy corn. Those are Satan’s rotten cavities in a plastic cone-shaped baggie and I will not touch it. Nersty.

I feel like you know a lot about a person by their Halloween candy choice. So come on, ‘fess up. Just what exact level of trash are you/we? I’ve got all day.

The other day Aaron looked me dead in the eye and said these words, “You know, what we should do is watch Rocky 1.”

OUT

OF

NOWHERE.

I have no idea what is going on or how I got here, but I squinched my eyebrows in a worried look, held my hand up to his forehead to check for a fever and said, “Are you feeling okay? Are you in there? It’s me, Bev. Maybe you should lie down. Lay off the candy corn for a while.”

We’ve not spoken since.

BOOTS ADVICE.

First of all, Pinterest is hellbent on showing me ads for Blundstone until my eyeballs bleed out.

I did this to myself though. I freaking looked them up to remember what they looked like, and now it’s all the interflex will show me.

THING IS, I’m looking for a slip-on or zip-up boot that is stylish for any weather. I’ve got these all weather Nisolo boots, and I LOVE THEM to death. They’re classic, slim, comfortable and look good all.of.the.time. But I’m looking for something when I’m not in the mood to lace. (should we start a band called Mood To Lace?) I also have these Chooka rain boots, which I’ve owned for years. The little tag has ripped off on one shoe, but I do love how warm and comfy they are. Fleece lined anything and I’m (salted) butter.

Which brings me to Blundstone. Are they worth it? Do they age well? Do the double tags bother you? Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?

While you’re here, if you have any other boots brand that zip up in the back without looking like they were purchased at Hot Topic, let me know!

Oh, you remember Hot Topic. Don’t act like you don’t know what that is. They probably sell candy corn.

In bulk.

Okay, I need one more thing. (you’re like – yeah right.)

We’re hosting our (covid-safe) Haunted House on Sunday, right? Right. WELL I NEED SNACK IDEAS. I do see the irony in this. Supposedly (remember when Joey said “supposably? which I guess IS a real word! and might even work here? ugh, I can’t.) you’re to come to me to ask questions like this. Whatever, I need some help.

And if you say candy corn I will straight-up drop kick you in the boob.

So far I have an epic (word of the day, I’m proclaiming it now) bag of cheese puffs. Since it’s orange. And that’s lit-rally all I have planned.

Should we have pigs in a blanket? That’s easy! Like, mummy style.

This thing is PRE-trick-or-treating, and we’ll be noshing out back, so it will be light. Okay, we have cheese puffs, mummies in a blanket. Or wait, pigs in a mummy? Whatever. What’s that last thing I need?

You’ll laugh when you see what I plan to do with the (boxed, don’t hate) wine I’m serving. I’m not even going to tell you here, you’ll have to watch it in my Stories. But it’s gonna be epic. (I told you it was the word of the day, don’t try and get out of it.)

Epic weekend plans?

These next three days are complete non-stop spook madness. Today Aaron (if he’s feeling well. I’m not sure he’s recovered from thinking I’d actually want to watch Rocky 1.) and I are having a date day! Cappuccinos, antiquing, picking up the Halloween candy haul (candy corn excluded), and driving around and looking at the foliage. Which makes me 85 years old just saying the words “driving around and looking at the foliage.” I’m okay with it.

Tonight is Trunk-or-Treat at school with a pre-crawl happy hour here with a couple of friends. Then tomorrow we decorate the house! Tomorrow night we have a fire-pit costume party at some friends’ house, then Sunday is our Haunted House, then finally the event of the year – tricks and treats. Gonna be wild. I mean epic. And I’m tired.

Tell me your Halloween plans! Are you dressing up? You’re going to be a giant sexy Candy Corn, aren’t you? You bought it at Hot Topic, didn’t you? You think it’s going to be super epic, don’t you?

From the last two weeks, in case you missed it! Toasted Chicken Caesar Subs! Y’all give that some love, okay? You’d DIG them. Then we have a Skillet Chicken Parmesan Gnocchi situation. And it is to die for. Theeeen for my taco lovers, Crunchy Buffalo Shrimp Tacos! Get them ready for game day, okay? And lastly, these Cheddar Scones. A few of you have already made them and fallen in love. I knew you would! Get ready for a serious breakfast game changer. Really.

Okay, have the spookiest (I will not say spooktacular. this is a safe space.) weekend and remember to brush your teeth!