THIS is a total hack meal. Especially on school nights. Hack hack hack.
But it doesn’t feel like it because of the thinly sliced red onion, bacon love notes, baby crumbles of blue cheese and whispers of cilantro.
But it is.
It’s all a hack.
Let me show you the hacking ways.
It’s really just a combo of ready-made ingreeds. I call ingredients INGREEDS. I have no friends.
Just buy some good fried chicken somewhere. Anywhere. Our neighborhood grocery store down the street has THEE BEST fried chicken tenders. So good that, the entire city knows about it. And I shout at them every time I’m in there, “YOU KNOW THESE ARE THE BEST IN TOWN, RIGHT? BECAUSE THEY ARE. THEY ARE SERIOUSLY THE BEST IN TOWN.” And they look me, put their hands over their ears and barely nod. Then call their manager and security because I’m scaring them.
But it’s cool.
Just mix some (not crappy) ranch dressing and buffalo sauce together. And pour it all over that chicken and maybe your face. Then toss toss toss. You’re almost done with this entire meal, can you believe this?
You’ll violently flop the chicken down into some split sub buns. BUT LISTEN. Get you some delish Italian subs or something. Don’t buy those flimsy, moldy, smashed hoagie buns in that one aisle by the crackers. Head over to the bakery section of the store and look for some hefty (but light and airy!) ones that the store peeps made. Makes a difference. Swearsies.
Then top with shredded cheddar cheese and BAKE it for a few minutes until the cheese melts and starts to bubble. And tell you what, if you need to flip it to broil, do it. But maybe cover the edges of the bread with foil to avoid bread tip burnage.
Oh! Let’s start a band called Bread Tip Burnage. No one likes us.
Once she’s done in the oven, just go completely postal with the toppings. Bacon (duh), blue cheese (you have to!), red onion (takes it to 11), and cilantro (m u s t).
And then riiiiight at the end, squirt more buffalo sauce over the whole thing because BUFFALO.
Hacked. Just accept it.
THAT, THOUGH. ^